Curiousroxy86 Posted May 11, 2019 Posted May 11, 2019 whether you use to date or is currently dating when you made the decision to start dating/date again what did/do YOU actually DO that supports that decision? curious minds wants to know. thank you.
d0nnivain Posted May 11, 2019 Posted May 11, 2019 When I made the conscious decision that I as ready to date with a purpose -- with an eye toward getting married -- I thought about what kind of man I'd like to date then I made a plan to commit to attending at least 1 event per week designed to introduce me to more people. Around the same time I also promised myself that I would attend at least one networking event per week. Some times I cheated & combined the two. I ended up meeting my husband at a business card exchange. Neither of us got new clients from that event because we were both too busy flirting with each other. Anyway some of the things I attended were: 1. A game night meet up 2. A "professional" networking singles event. 3. A singles mixer where I was allowed to bring my dog. I actually got a lot of attention at that because I was one of the few women there with a big dog. 4. I tried to go speed dating but there were never enough men so the event kept getting cancelled. 5. A few singles mixers run by different organizations 6. I looked into signing up to play golf with a foursome -- 2 single women, 2 single men, but I never went because I met my husband at that point 7. I went out on the weekends to watch sports in public / a local bar filled with men 8. Told people I was open to being fixed up which led to a few blind dates I also did this kooky thing where I wrote letter to my future spouse. In them I described things we'd do & share. The idea helps you "see" the other person in your mind's eye & believe he is real. You write the letter, date it & put it away. I pulled them out the week before DH & I got married. After re-reading them I gave them to him when we got back from out HM. We were both astonished at how accurate they were. 6
Blind-Sided Posted May 11, 2019 Posted May 11, 2019 This is a subject that will be opening up to me again... so I'm going to follow it. BUT.... When I was a little older, (mid 20's) and back into collage seriously... I dated a few girls with no expectations, and just for fun, for physical well being. I hung out with a lot of girls to talk about feelings, and expectations. This was helping myself with mental well being... but then I found my STBxW. She was nice, she was smart, and she was not the kind of girl that I would have to worry about. So, after sifting through at least 15 girls... I found the person who I thought I could spend my life with. At that point, I perused her, and won her over. Unfortunately, her pessimistic personality, linked to some chemical imbalances, and bad influences are leading to the end of my marriage. Now that I am in my later 40's... I'm not sure how to move forward. I don't have that pool of girls to wade through anymore... and being casual isn't in my nature.
chillii Posted May 11, 2019 Posted May 11, 2019 (edited) l gradually started maybe being interested in meeting someone new as l started to feel better. lt amazed me how women seemed to know and suddenly started picking that up , where as before that, nothin. So then l was just starting to enjoy the sights again it'd been a long time, and accidentally met someone very special. l joined a date site too , nothing serious just felt like chatting really. like blind sided, l've never had any interest in casual either, not ever younger days. Edited May 11, 2019 by chillii
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted May 12, 2019 Author Posted May 12, 2019 I made a plan to commit to attending at least 1 event per week designed to introduce me to more people Awww@the letter Yea I am trying to be more social myself What I like to do/want to do publicly isn’t consistently available every weekend if at all. I guess I could start my own meetup if I wasn’t so lazy lol
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 You can't be lazy about this but you don't have to go so far as to be the organizer. You need multiple avenues of attack. Happy hunting. 1
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted May 12, 2019 Author Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) Yea I don’t know. I’m not really in a rush to snag a husband. I don’t care if I have another kid or not. And me going somewhere just to meet men is just something I’m not going to do. I attempted to do that and it felt so off to me. If I’m going be out it’s got to be something I’m interested in doing or being a part of. Right now in terms of being social that’s where my focus lies on simply finding those things I will enjoy or at least want to try. Because it is a shame that I have such good off days and sometimes I don’t use them when I don’t have plans of dates or spending time with my loved ones. I was more publicly active on two week days due to a sports team I was a part of and one of my off days my son is at school so that was time to get things done in terms of errands and just enjoying some me time being out shopping and grabbing a bite. That sports league is over now and I’m trying to find some days to suggest free play if it stops friggin raining. And school is about to be out so there goes mommy free time lol. But I am free Saturday and Sunday nights and if no plans I’m normally at home and I really would like to get out of the house and do something social when I don’t have a date or plans lined up. Just trying to find something I want to do that is consistent for those nights is my challenge. Honestly only reason it’s a challenge because of my own personal rule of what “I want to do” lol . I’m sure I’ll find something though. Edited May 12, 2019 by Curiousroxy86
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted May 12, 2019 Author Posted May 12, 2019 l gradually started maybe being interested in meeting someone new as l started to feel better. lt amazed me how women seemed to know and suddenly started picking that up , where as before that, nothin. So then l was just starting to enjoy the sights again it'd been a long time, and accidentally met someone very special. l joined a date site too , nothing serious just felt like chatting really. like blind sided, l've never had any interest in casual either, not ever younger days. Yea chilli for me my focus is just more so doing whatever makes me happy and meeting someone significant will come out of it. That’s how it normally happened in the past and that’s how I expect it will happen going forward. I too have never been into the whole casual things whether it was one night stands or fwb situations.
Curious-One Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) And school is about to be out so there goes mommy free time lol. But I am free Saturday and Sunday nights and if no plans I’m normally at home and I really would like to get out of the house and do something social when I don’t have a date or plans lined up. Just trying to find something I want to do that is consistent for those nights is my challenge. Honestly only reason it’s a challenge because of my own personal rule of what “I want to do” lol . I’m sure I’ll find something though. I figure being a single mom makes it even harder especially if you are living alone with your child and need to find a baby sitter to do things. It seems like online dating would make it so much easier but then again i am not sure which is why i made this thread https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/683740-girls-why-online-dating-hard-you#post7790160 Edited May 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
I'veseenbetterlol Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 I was broken when I broke up w/my ex. I did care for him, but we were different and he started taking me for granted. Dating again is up to and how you feel. At work, I met some guys who were tourists and they invited me. This was 2 weeks post breakup. I was sick to my stomach w/pain from my breakup and after just having drinks, I didn't go out for months. I got to a point where I wanted to meet someone and started online dating about 1/2 a year later.
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