LilySun Posted May 8, 2019 Posted May 8, 2019 In an LDR where sometimes, say if I am going through a hard day and say I miss him..he tends to feel guilty and apologizes about it. I sordof think it's sweet....but why feel sorry? If I miss him, isn't that a good thing? Am I missing something....
Lotsgoingon Posted May 8, 2019 Posted May 8, 2019 He's talking your comment too literally ... taking it almost as if you are expressing unhappiness with the relationship. What he's doing is very subtle ... might come from having grown up in a household where he felt he had to address every complaint mouthed by his mom or dad. So yes, he has a malfunctioning guilt-radar ...one that goes off way too much. You can gently suggest to him that you saying "I miss you" more means "I like thinking about you and look forward to being in person with you." Of course, he could also just say, "I miss you too." Is he new to relationships? ... he sounds new and highly prone to guilt.
Author LilySun Posted May 8, 2019 Author Posted May 8, 2019 He's talking your comment too literally ... taking it almost as if you are expressing unhappiness with the relationship. What he's doing is very subtle ... might come from having grown up in a household where he felt he had to address every complaint mouthed by his mom or dad. So yes, he has a malfunctioning guilt-radar ...one that goes off way too much. You can gently suggest to him that you saying "I miss you" more means "I like thinking about you and look forward to being in person with you." Of course, he could also just say, "I miss you too." Is he new to relationships? ... he sounds new and highly prone to guilt. Funny, because he also has says he misses me when he is having a rough day. But I like it when he misses me. We also say it general to each other....but he seems to feel guilty if it's a matter where I am just having a bad day. It's not that I am unhappy. It just means I wish he was here sometimes.
TooBad Posted May 8, 2019 Posted May 8, 2019 I dunno about feeling guilty about it, but I guess when you're having a bad day he just wishes he was there to support you. Nothing major and pretty normal unless it becomes a problem somehow. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2019 Posted May 8, 2019 He feels like the distance is adding to your pain. If he was there he could at least hold you & physically comfort you. It's more him expressing empathy for your plight. Stop over reading it. 1
chillii Posted May 9, 2019 Posted May 9, 2019 Funny, because he also has says he misses me when he is having a rough day. But I like it when he misses me. We also say it general to each other....but he seems to feel guilty if it's a matter where I am just having a bad day. It's not that I am unhappy. It just means I wish he was here sometimes. Yeah , exactly it l'd say. There's a lot of guilt in a ldr when you just can't be there for the other one because it's ld. l mean in a way it's a nice thing , he cares.
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