elaine567 Posted May 11, 2019 Posted May 11, 2019 Maybe you should "like" one of the photos of his dogs/meal. 1
alphamale Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Maybe you should "like" one of the photos of his dogs/meal. but then he would know that she is snooping
Author mortensorchid Posted May 12, 2019 Author Posted May 12, 2019 I just went to his page to see what activity there is/is not... Seems he's out to some club to spin records (as he's a dj that's not surprising), and he has his arms around this women and they are making kissy faces at each other. Next, I guess.
dispatch3d Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 What attracted you to this guy? I'm kinda lost at why you had feelings...
Author mortensorchid Posted May 12, 2019 Author Posted May 12, 2019 What attracted you to this guy? I'm kinda lost at why you had feelings... I was not sure how I felt about him at first. After our one encounter did I like the guy? Well, yes, he seemed alright. But I am not going to chase him, I reached out once and he said he was spinning (he is a DJ after all) and I said "Ok don't let me interrupt " because I didn't want to interrupt him. I wasn't angry at him for doing his work rather than talking to me. But... no dice as it seems. A guy who really likes you will make an effort and he doesn't seem to be.
dispatch3d Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 I dunno I have never met a dj I thought was cool, your mileage may vary, also I'm a dude...
guest569 Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Saying no to his first offer, hell yeah. No way I'm gonna drop everything and rush to go on a date on a whim. This is the first date people.. Follow up text, tick! But all you could say was "Evening" Come on! Anyway, his attention is elsewhere.. Never mind.. 1
Happy Lemming Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 A guy who really likes you will make an effort and he doesn't seem to be. I would tend to agree with this statement. If I want to date a woman, and we've gone out once. Hopefully, I've picked up on a few ideas during the date, so I can plan date 2, date 3, etc. By now, I would have called and tried to obtain her schedule, so I can do some "date planning" and run some ideas past her. I don't think you did anything wrong... You reached out to him and he didn't get back to you. I understand he was working when you texted him and I'll give him a pass that he couldn't talk/text at that time. But then the clock starts and he has 24 hours to re-engage and start discussing the next date/schedule, etc. It doesn't take that much time to call/text or e-mail "Hey, "X" activity is in town on Sunday (or Monday evening or whatever), want to go??" He didn't do this, so I would tend to agree with you that he just isn't interested. NEXT!!
FMW Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Hey, just look at it as a step forward. At least for a bit you felt some interest and he reached out. It didn't go anywhere, but at least it was interesting for a short time.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 MO, I'm guessing he has gauged your interest in him as pretty low. Your "evening" text was really low energy and serious. Like maybe even you were bored with him and the text was obligatory on your part. 1
preraph Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Mortenschild, on days DJs are spinning, they are not really free earlier in the day either. They figure out their set list and go early to set up and sound-check equipment. Of course, they all sleep late all the time because gigs are usually late in the night. So they sleep till noon, putter a bit and grab something to eat and then get ready for the next gig. They're busier on weekends than any other time (and holidays) so getting together or contacting them through the week is best, in the afternoon. One of my good friends is a DJ. Sometimes they can invite you to a gig; other times, not because it's private. They're not on a normal schedule to those who work 9 to 5. Most of the time, they are not available at all on the weekend for socializing except at the gigs if they're public. Even then, they're busy and yes, there will be selfies with anyone who wants one. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Her interest in him was because he was the only option available after years of trying. It really sucks for women after a certain age. I have just celebrated a year of removal of all my dating profiles. I met exactly zero single men that were interested in me. It's just an observation for me because I have no desire to be in a relationship. But for someone that does want it, I can imagine it's pretty brutal. 2
JuneL Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Mortenschild, on days DJs are spinning, they are not really free earlier in the day either. They figure out their set list and go early to set up and sound-check equipment. Of course, they all sleep late all the time because gigs are usually late in the night. So they sleep till noon, putter a bit and grab something to eat and then get ready for the next gig. They're busier on weekends than any other time (and holidays) so getting together or contacting them through the week is best, in the afternoon. One of my good friends is a DJ. Sometimes they can invite you to a gig; other times, not because it's private. They're not on a normal schedule to those who work 9 to 5. Most of the time, they are not available at all on the weekend for socializing except at the gigs if they're public. Even then, they're busy and yes, there will be selfies with anyone who wants one. But didn’t he have a whole week of weekdays before this weekend? That said, I agree with a couple of earlier posters that the “Evening” text was almost worse than not sending the text. Even a “Good evening” text sounds a lot more positive. But it’d be much better to tell him that you had a good time/enjoyed the date. 2
preraph Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Well, this is a busy 55 year old guy who has sounds like joint custody of kids, plus two jobs, a day job and a late night job. So he's not going to be texting a lot, I'm guessing. One thing at a time, probably. I hope you hear from him once he's not tied up again. It's Mother's Day today, of course.
Happy Lemming Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Well, this is a busy 55 year old guy who has sounds like joint custody of kids, plus two jobs, a day job and a late night job. He can't carve out 30 seconds for a text message, 2-3 minutes for an e-mail or 15 minutes for a phone call?? He has time to post on facebook, but not time to get back to mortensorchid. Its just plain rude not to get back to her. Even if he was no longer interested, he should have told her that via e-mail or text message, this isn't some young kid we are talking about, he is a 55 year old man who should know manners by now. I'll leave two phone messages for a woman about a day apart, if she doesn't get back to me 24 hours after the last message, I'm done and not contacting her again. 1
preraph Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 It's not about having a second of time. It's about what's on your mind and just adding some little "maintenance" thing to your list of overwhelming duties. It's too soon to expect anything.
FMW Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 I wouldn't sweat it. If/when he contacts you again, you can decide then what you want to do. You don't have to shut the door on him right this moment. No harm in meeting up with him if he asks later as long as you keep things in perspective and expectations under control. 2
Happy Lemming Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 It's not about having a second of time. It's about what's on your mind and just adding some little "maintenance" thing to your list of overwhelming duties. It's too soon to expect anything. Its called common courtesy... If he was that stressed to the point that any little communication would mess up his overwhelming schedule, then he shouldn't have asked "mortensorchid" in the first place. How long would it take to e-mail or text... Dear mortensorchid, Sorry I haven't got back to your sooner, between my two jobs and the kids things just got busy. Anywho, there is this new Tapas place on 4th Street that I've been really wanting to try. You free on Wednesday about 7:30?? Sincerely, DJ That took me all of 30 seconds to type... 1
Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 My romantic life has a way of gaining momentum. I'll have a good first date, then a few, then a relationship, then love and amazing fun and touching times of real mutual support when the chips are down, etc. Personally, I'm happy that she had a nice first date, and whatever happens with this particular guy, I take it as a sign of good things to come. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
Highndry Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 Her interest in him was because he was the only option available after years of trying. It really sucks for women after a certain age. I have just celebrated a year of removal of all my dating profiles. I met exactly zero single men that were interested in me. It's just an observation for me because I have no desire to be in a relationship. But for someone that does want it, I can imagine it's pretty brutal. Staying in great physical shape is a very important factor in finding somebody, at least in my opinion. So many people, both men and women, let their bodies go and that makes it much more difficult to find a partner. 1
Highndry Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 MO, I'm guessing he has gauged your interest in him as pretty low. Your "evening" text was really low energy and serious. Like maybe even you were bored with him and the text was obligatory on your part. Texting is extremely boring in general. I could never get to know somebody or form a bond through text.
TheFinalWord Posted May 13, 2019 Posted May 13, 2019 Sorry to hear that mortensorchid. Dating in 2019! 1
Author mortensorchid Posted May 14, 2019 Author Posted May 14, 2019 Its called common courtesy... If he was that stressed to the point that any little communication would mess up his overwhelming schedule, then he shouldn't have asked "mortensorchid" in the first place. How long would it take to e-mail or text... Agreed. Someone can take the time and energy out to just say hello even if it takes them 5 minutes. However, today he posted something on my wall on Facebook. I had told him on our get together than Resse's peanut butter cups were my favorite candy, and he posted some bogus research about how it can cause cancer. And I went to his page and he pretty much updates the world on what he's doing (where he's playing, what he's doing, etc.). I guess he's just a friend, or he thinks he is. We've had no contact since I sent that "Evening" text about a week ago. Trail went cold, moving on.
Happy Lemming Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 Trail went cold, moving on. I'm so sorry this one didn't work out. I really had high hopes that this guy was interested. The fact that you met in "real life", that he asked you out for a normal (Dinner & Movie) date, etc. It all seemed like this guy wanted to date you. Hang in there... I'm pulling for you.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 14, 2019 Posted May 14, 2019 Momentum! I've seen MO making steady progress over the past year. He's not the right guy, but I think you're getting warmer.
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