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I have a third date, but will my lack of experience make me overthink stuff?

YoungManK

By YoungManK
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YoungManK New Member

YoungManK

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Hi all!

 

So I posted on here before about getting a match from speed dating.

 

Well since then, I've been on two dates with her. The first was drinks, we both laughed a lot and laughed a tad at each other in a flirting way. The date ended with her kissing me on the cheek as we hugged as her taxi arrived (I didn't kiss her but now wish I at least kissed her cheek).

 

The second date was a drinks and evening activity playing crazy golf. Yet again, lots of laughs and tad bit of teasing. At the end of the night as her bus arrived we both kissed eachother on the cheek.

 

And this is where I started to overthink - I wanted to go kiss her lips but as soon as we started to draw in towards each other she went straight for my cheek - but me as an overthinker, I can't help but think she noticed this in a millisecond and went for my cheek instead, so I kissed her cheek as well. She messaged me once she got home saying she enjoyed herself, and we then arranged a third date for a few days time, watching an outdoor film screening with dinner before it.

 

In the two dates I didn't attempt much physical activity like trying to hold her hand or put my arm around her, but I did do very few arm touches and that. In the third date I'm going to greet her with a cheek kiss and focus a tad more on being confident to touch her playfully - nothing OTT.

 

Throughout getting to know her so far, she's not a heavy texter it seems as we only send about 5 max texts each to each other a day, which has been the consistent pattern so far.

 

I think my lack of experience is starting to make me overthink as I'm now asking myself if she likes me? I only ask myself this simply because we only send a few texts to each other a day (when I dated in my early 20s I was use to girls that were into me to text me a lot). I'm use to being a heavy texter with previous partners and daters, but now with this new woman I don't feel the desire to message loads or check to see if she's messaged me.

 

I'm now 27 and she's 29 with both full time jobs if you think that plays a part in text responsiveness. She seems a bit of the quiet type, likes her little niche hobbies and her alone time. She comes across in person as the type of woman your parents would be proud of, she's a very nice girl.

 

Do I have a right to overthink this, or am I just being stupid?

Edited by YoungManK
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

Stop overthinking. Just focus on how much fun you have together & remind yourself that the rest will come naturally.

 

Greet her with a hug & a cheek kiss to begin this date. Do have fun together but look into her eyes a lot

 

You will be fine if you can get out of your head.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted (edited)

Lack of experience doesn't make a person overthink things -- lack of confidence, desperation/over eagerness and anxiety make a person overthink things . . .

Edited by Redhead14
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Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

Posted
Posted

You are overthinking. You have had two good dates, she's happily arranged a third, they are your signs she likes you.

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted

Dude, just go out on a third date. A relationship rarely, rarely rises or falls based on a strategic calculation of when to kiss someone.

 

If you guys have some real chemistry, and you're open, then at some point, you'll naturally kiss ... or she'll initiate the kiss. Don't worry about your hesitation on kissing. That's the wrong focus. She knows you're not some highly experienced smooth operated. She knows that.

 

If she wanted a smooth experienced operator, she wouldn't go out with you ... So quit judging yourself by that standard. Remind yourself of your strengths, including all your nerdy strengths.

 

Did you say you're sending each other ONLY 5 texts a day? Did I read that right? ... Dude, 5 texts a date is ample.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

If she keeps saying yes to your dates, she's interested...that's all you need to know.

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Foxhall Established Member

Foxhall

Posted
Posted

take a chance go for the proper kiss on the third date.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"good for passing the time on a train journey this forum"

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YoungManK New Member

YoungManK

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Dude, just go out on a third date. A relationship rarely, rarely rises or falls based on a strategic calculation of when to kiss someone.

 

If you guys have some real chemistry, and you're open, then at some point, you'll naturally kiss ... or she'll initiate the kiss. Don't worry about your hesitation on kissing. That's the wrong focus. She knows you're not some highly experienced smooth operated. She knows that.

 

If she wanted a smooth experienced operator, she wouldn't go out with you ... So quit judging yourself by that standard. Remind yourself of your strengths, including all your nerdy strengths.

 

Did you say you're sending each other ONLY 5 texts a day? Did I read that right? ... Dude, 5 texts a date is ample.

 

So the fact she doesn't text much isn't a sign of disinterest?

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted

Keep going ... Interest or disinterest will be clear.

 

Again, five texts a day is A LOT to me. So I'm not getting your question.

 

Now, it's clear you guys are not passionately in love with each other--yet. But keep going and see what happens. If you want more texts, tell her you enjoy her texts and see if she picks up on that.

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YoungManK New Member

YoungManK

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UPDATE for anyone that's interested.

 

So the third date went really well, more laughs.

 

I also put my arm around her for a bit, also placed my hand under a table just on her leg for a while, neither times she pulled away.

 

End of the night we kissed on the lips for a short while so that helped with any anxiousness with how I thought it could go.

 

Would be interesting to see if her texting habits change now theres been a kiss (but I know sometimes there's nothing in a kiss).

 

We're planning to meet up this coming weekend as well so she's still keen to see each other.

 

Seems things are working out so far!

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

I'm glad things went well. Stop putting any stock in her texting habits. They way she treats you & responds to you in person is most important. How often or how much verbiage she texts is not an indicator of anything. Your emphasis on the worst communications medium in the world will be your downfall. Don't borrow trouble.

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