beatcuff Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 why are many so quick to 'move them out': when they are needy we push them away, when they aren't we try to pull them back... last summer my [18 yo] daughter was feeling pretty crappy, we laid down and watched one of her movies, i moved my arm to stretch and she pulled it in tight. days later i was golfing and causally mentioned it [one of those weeks] all three jumped in 'how they enjoy those times'. AND not one of us would do it for our wives (we just steer clear). Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 Nevertheless, I do think there is a middle ground. It must be hard for parents to determine where to draw lines. Granted parenting my autistic one is very different to my neuro typical one...but I found that parenting my NT one was fairly instinctive. First thing is that you have to let them fail and learn to cope with life's disappointments and mistakes. They break a toy because they are being silly - no replacement toy. Leave homework at home or forget their lunch - too bad. Don't make the sports team? Yep, that's life. From about age 8, she got more pocket money than her friends, but unlike friend's parents, we didn't buy her random stuff. If she wanted it, she had to save her pocket money and buy it. We paid the same amount overall as other parents, but she learned to budget for splurges. Nurturing is essential when they need it. Be there to support them and give strategies when their friendships have a hiccup. A cuddle on the sofa. Grieve a lost animal together. A couple of years ago she had her first breakup. She was the dumper, but it still hurt terribly. That evening, hubby and I had gone to a party but she called while we were gone because she felt so bad. She'd gotten herself into that state of sobbing where she couldn't stop. So we left the party, came home to her and snuggled on the sofa watching 80's teen movies. I guess it's about knowing when to support them and when to let them fail. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 Not to me! Thanks. I say that because I know that I cannot truly understand what it is to be a parent so perhaps I shouldn't have an opinion. I suppose some aspects are common sense such as "Don't give your child everything he asks for". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tristian Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 It appears we have strayed a bit from the original question. In case you were wondering it was....... Ever since our son was born (on December 15th) he has been in the bedroom with me and my boyfriend. We're getting a little uncomfortable having sex with him in the same room. At what age should we move him into his own bedroom? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 To answer the original question again, my answer is - right now. Even if you wanted to follow the pediatric guidelines/guesses/etc. that child is now almost five months old. Time for the parents to get back to their routines. Even if the mother is breastfeeding, you can start weaning at 6 months, and the baby should be (mostly) sleeping through the night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IgliNick Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Ever since our son was born (on December 15th) he has been in the bedroom with me and my boyfriend. We're getting a little uncomfortable having sex with him in the same room. At what age should we move him into his own bedroom? Why are you uncomfortable??? He has no idea what you're doing... I'd totally keep my kid at least an year with us, and will have sex with no shame lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 My kids always had their own space to sleep. I had to get up to change them anyway. Our bed was always open if they needed comfort. I still have to kick them out some days. I hope they never get too old to snuggle in with mom. They leave less hair than the dogs and are less slobbery. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I really wouldn't want to be a new mother in this day and age of mom shaming. You can't do anything right. Ever. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Tristian Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Well, that didn't work. Thread closed after second clean up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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