Did he just want sex, that's why he behaved like this?

[susysilver]

Hi guys,

 

Some advice needed.

 

I met this guy online, we talked for a while and he asked me out. He was very flirty since day one and making sexual innuendos.

 

For our third date he insisted we meet near my house. He asked if I wanted to just have a drink in the afternoon or something to eat too, and I said yes we can do both.

 

So we met at a local pub/restaurant and sat there for a while talking and having a drink. We were sitting outside and it was getting cold so I thought we would soon make a move inside and have something to eat as agreed.

 

He said he had nothing scheduled on that day and was free to be with me.

 

So at some point he kisses me and then he asks me what do I want to happen between us, and I said to him is the third date and I'm enjoying his company and I would like to see him again.

 

I could tell the dissapointment in his face. I asked him what do you want, and he said oh the same, blablabla.

 

And then after this he tells me we should each make a move and leave.

 

I said sure ok, and got in my car and drove back home.

 

I found his behaviour very rude. I felt like he wanted something else to happen (sex), and because he knew he wasn't getting any that day, he lost motivation and wanted to leave.

 

Because he did invite me to eat there as well, and didn't even mentioned it.

 

I didn't ask him about eating, because at that point I was so shocked by him telling us to leave that I didn't feel spending more time with him anyway.

 

Very rude of him. What do you think about this?

[elaine567]

Third date = sex.

He had it planned and set up to go to your place for sex... but...

[susysilver]

Third date = sex.

He had it planned and set up to go to your place for sex... but...

 

I'm sorry but to me third date DOES NOT equals sex. He's someone I met off the Internet and I have only seen 3 times. I am not being intimate with a stranger because to me after 3 dates that's still who he is (a stranger), and is very bad to expect that and discard the other person if they don't want it. It really shows who he is.

[toomanyquestions123]

I'm sorry but to me third date DOES NOT equals sex. He's someone I met off the Internet and I have only seen 3 times. I am not being intimate with a stranger because to me after 3 dates that's still who he is (a stranger), and is very bad to expect that and discard the other person if they don't want it. It really shows who he is.

 

please cut him off...ewwww !

[BaileyB]

I'm sorry but to me third date DOES NOT equals sex. He's someone I met off the Internet and I have only seen 3 times. I am not being intimate with a stranger because to me after 3 dates that's still who he is (a stranger), and is very bad to expect that and discard the other person if they don't want it. It really shows who he is.

 

I could not agree with you more.

 

And yet, for some men they really do expect sex by the third date and think that something is obviously “wrong” if/when that doesn’t happen.

 

A man who truly likes you will wait until you are comfortable... this was not your guy. Sorry.

[stillafool]

I'm sorry but to me third date DOES NOT equals sex. He's someone I met off the Internet and I have only seen 3 times. I am not being intimate with a stranger because to me after 3 dates that's still who he is (a stranger), and is very bad to expect that and discard the other person if they don't want it. It really shows who he is.

 

Well I don't blame you. He didn't even want to buy you a meal. Plus he pretty much made it clear in the beginning with all the sexual innuendos what he wanted. Well at least you found out early so don't be upset because men need sex. Just move on to the next.

[Art_Critic]

When a guy swings the conversation into sex and innuendos instead of hobbies and what kind of day you had today kind of stuff he is definitely only looking to get his noodle wet..

 

I'm speaking as a guy who when I was single and in my 30's would do that to test the sexual waters and if I got back the right response I knew I was golden and it was a sure thing for the next date..

 

Not to say I was only looking for sex as some of those did turn into relationships but I can say that sex was what was on the table first...

 

I wouldn't have sex with the guy yet, if you are still interested then take control and bust him on the innuendos and pull it back in line to see what he does.. if it was only about sex he will bolt.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Oh come on.

 

If it were up to most men, sex would happen on date #1.

 

Granted, there aren't any hard and fast rules regarding when sex should take place BUT you don't have to be a rocket scientist to identify the men who are gunning for sex early on.

 

You already said that he led with a strong sexual undertone right from the start. That is often a good sign that a guy wants to move fast, good or bad.

 

The signs were there all along but it sounds more like you either didn't read them or you were hoping he wasn't the sex-hungry player he was painting himself out to be.

 

Live and learn sweets.

 

Better to have realized this sooner than later.

[Flame Aura]

Met online + flirty straight away + sexual innuendos + wanted to meet near your house = wanted the most obvious thing.

 

 

Most guys will use online sites/apps to find girls to sleep with.

 

 

Good on you for staying firm but next time you can easily suss them out even earlier.

[Versacehottie]

I am not sure why you are disappointed too much. He showed his true colors and you held to what you believe is right for you. He's exposed himself as not a good match for you and no big loss. You just need to see the silver lining: that it worked out like this is a good thing and it's good that you found out what he is like now rather than have your head messed about. You should be glad you are true to yourself and know that there are better things (and guys) out there for you.