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Oversexed or Am I getting old?

CloudedVision

By CloudedVision
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preraph Established Member

preraph

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We agreed to be exclusive about 2 months after we met because we found each other to be compatible. We see each other at least twice during the week and usually every weekend and have sex multiple times when we're together. It's not her desires that I question, its the method of communication. I dont mind sexting once in a while, but it's the constant texting about other topics too.

 

About the holiday request, I question that too because it wasnt the first time she said something like that to me. Once she sent me a picture of a dog and stated that she would be my 'freak' if I bought it for her.

 

Okay. Do not buy her a dog. Good lord. She is definitely a golddigger and I don't see how she could have gotten this bad if she hadn't already learned it by being some degree of sex worker. I mean, normal people don't live with their parents into their 30s, if that's true, and then emerge asking men to buy them gifts for more sex. Of course, you're already getting sex, but she keeps trying to incentivize you with freaky sex (I think that's what SHE wants, not what you want -- maybe she should by YOU something) in exchange for goods.

 

I am just saying this is a huge red flag. What if she's out there secretly doing this to other men? I mean, I can't see her only limiting all this to you, I honestly can't. I think even if you married her, she'd be doing freaky sex for gifts from other men.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Since she's 37 and just moved out from her parents, there has to be some reason for that. I'd be finding out why she lived with her parents for so long, was she dating, etc. It's possible she's trying to overcompensate for something with her acting like she's down for kinky stuff, but at the same time texting like a preteen.

 

 

I always considered the type of stuff she is doing to be "rookie" stuff....Women that have "walked the walk", don't bother with that crap...They may not even realize it, but its corny as shyt...

 

TFY

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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Does she have any tattoos with numbers or letters you don't understand? Does she have anyone in her life she takes calls from who is a bit of a mystery? Have you looked on line on the sugarbaby websites to see if she's listed anywhere?

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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You're dating someone that has not emotionally grown beyond 16. As a 45 year old man I am surprised you let that go on for an entire year. Do you really think you'll grow old with this woman and you'll be each other's rock.

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Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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You're dating someone that has not emotionally grown beyond 16. As a 45 year old man I am surprised you let that go on for an entire year. Do you really think you'll grow old with this woman and you'll be each other's rock.

 

Ditto this ^ ... This kind of behavior is not superficial, it's deep ... people who do this aren't likely to change after a conversation. Sorta like telling a gambling addict he is losing money and expecting the gambler to change.

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CloudedVision Member

CloudedVision

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Since she's 37 and just moved out from her parents, there has to be some reason for that. I'd be finding out why she lived with her parents for so long, was she dating, etc. It's possible she's trying to overcompensate for something with her acting like she's down for kinky stuff, but at the same time texting like a preteen.

 

She moved back in to save money and repay some debt. Then when her parents broke up, she ended up staying longer than she expected. Before me, she says she did online dating. I dont know what/if she's trying to overcompensate. We went to check out kink club early on, and I think that is when the gates opened, because I dont care to go back, but she tends to make lustful comments about women she sees on the street.

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CloudedVision Member

CloudedVision

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You're dating someone that has not emotionally grown beyond 16. As a 45 year old man I am surprised you let that go on for an entire year. Do you really think you'll grow old with this woman and you'll be each other's rock.

 

In the beginning it was fun and exciting, but as the time went on instead of tapering off, it ramped up. That is my point of confusion. Also, she is near to 40, I think anyone would hope that at that age your life's perspective is more mature.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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In the beginning it was fun and exciting, but as the time went on instead of tapering off, it ramped up. That is my point of confusion. Also, she is near to 40, I think anyone would hope that at that age your life's perspective is more mature.

That's why dating is important before embarking outselves seriously. You date till you get to know someone and confirm you are compatible for long term. Of course at the beginning it was fun, it was new and exciting but then you got to know her character and she's not so appealing anymore.

 

 

 

Yes near 40 and I'd say much before people should have their life's perspective in order and exibit maturity but not all do. Some people just don't have the brain for that. Even if you tried to teach them the basic they wouldn't get it. These people live their entire life thinking like a 16 years old, going from relationship to relationship, making poor financial decisions, thinking all is due to them, etc.

snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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Shoot... at this point in time and with the prevalence of porn (which I hate) I would KILL to be with a vanilla guy.

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CloudedVision Member

CloudedVision

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Shoot... at this point in time and with the prevalence of porn (which I hate) I would KILL to be with a vanilla guy.

 

I wouldn't call myself vanilla, but I agree about the prevalence of porn.

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CloudedVision Member

CloudedVision

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I had my son this weekend so last night I called her and suggested we do something after work. The conversation lasted about 20 minutes, just catching up on our weekends, the dialogue was basic. Today I get a text telling me where she'll meet me and asking me if I want her to wear panties and that she can't wait to feel my **. Then a series of eggplants and hearts texts throughout the day. I've decided that today we'll have another, possibly final talk and see what happens after that.

Edited by CloudedVision
Highndry Established Member

Highndry

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I'm not sure all of this is a bad thing, really. She's in her sexual prime and is expressing her desires to you. The gold digging thing would be a turnoff to me, the swapping as well, but part of this is just a woman who looks forward to sex with you.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I'm not sure all of this is a bad thing, really. She's in her sexual prime and is expressing her desires to you. The gold digging thing would be a turnoff to me, the swapping as well, but part of this is just a woman who looks forward to sex with you.

I am leaning toward she wants sex, period.

 

Having a partner like this would make me feel like an object. She can't carry a 20 mins convo without turning into a porn senario.

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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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We went to check out kink club early on, and I think that is when the gates opened, because I dont care to go back, but she tends to make lustful comments about women she sees on the street.

 

 

Hmmm. Some people, for whatever reason "realize" they're kinky in their 30's and 40's. Perhaps she's found out that she's kinky and is experiencing a bit of what's known as frenzy - which is a temporary hypersexual period. Usually it's called sub (submissive) frenzy - not sure if she's a sub or simply very sexual. She might be realizing that she's a sub or realizing what her kinks are.

 

At any rate, what is supposedly typical is that the person discovers the kink aspect of their sexuality, becomes hypersexual for several months to a year or so, and then cools off again to a more normal interest level.

 

So, possibly that's what going on with her.

 

 

Once she sent me a picture of a dog and stated that she would be my 'freak' if I bought it for her.

 

Yikes. Obviously you would not take her up on that offer. IF you want to stick with her, you'll need to get her to quit this kind of stuff.

 

It occurs to me that the transaction stuff/you buying things for her may be part of her kink. She might have a Daddy Dom/little girl or Princess-by-day/Slut-by-night kink. IF you want to stick with her, you might consider researching those things on the internet.

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emeraldgreen Established Member

emeraldgreen

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I'm not sure all of this is a bad thing, really. She's in her sexual prime and is expressing her desires to you. The gold digging thing would be a turnoff to me, the swapping as well, but part of this is just a woman who looks forward to sex with you.

 

Sexual prime is a myth. People just continue believing in it for relevance after fertility has declined.

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CloudedVision Member

CloudedVision

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We had a talk last night, there was no sex at all. I told her that she does not have to carry on that way. That I am already attracted to her in so many other ways, but that part of her is becoming a turn off. She told me that she wants our relationship to be exciting and that she wants me to only want her. I explained that relationships aren't always fiery. That she is smart and that's one of the reasons I thought we could move past just hooking up.

 

She said it makes her feel 'sexy' and that she likes having sex with me. I agreed that once in a while is OK, but everyday, all day long, is annoying and it feels immature. Also, I asked her to not attempt text conversations with me about important topics because so much can be misinterpreted.

 

Honestly, I felt like I was counseling a young adult on Relationship 101. Her body language and her voice seemed diminished. It's weird how the relationship has changed in only a year. I am not sure this will continue much longer.

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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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That's too bad. While I get the texting coming across as silly and eventually irritating, if it were me, I wouldn't want to shut her down TOO much so as to keep the good aspect (her enjoying lots of sex). It sounds like the texting keeps her "warmed up" which I understand is something that can be important for some women.

 

It might be that the two of you have fundamental incompatibility in your "styles" - in which case it's just not worth it to you to put up with all the texts. I get it actually. That would be too bad, but it is what it is.

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Noproblem Established Member

Noproblem

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We had a talk last night, there was no sex at all. I told her that she does not have to carry on that way. That I am already attracted to her in so many other ways, but that part of her is becoming a turn off. She told me that she wants our relationship to be exciting and that she wants me to only want her. I explained that relationships aren't always fiery. That she is smart and that's one of the reasons I thought we could move past just hooking up.

 

She said it makes her feel 'sexy' and that she likes having sex with me. I agreed that once in a while is OK, but everyday, all day long, is annoying and it feels immature. Also, I asked her to not attempt text conversations with me about important topics because so much can be misinterpreted.

 

Honestly, I felt like I was counseling a young adult on Relationship 101. Her body language and her voice seemed diminished. It's weird how the relationship has changed in only a year. I am not sure this will continue much longer.

 

I honestly think you should call it off and don't drag it any much further,

she can be on her own and find someone who accepts her as the over-texter and sex-crazy woman she is.

 

You are just making her and yourself miserable right now.

 

Whatever peaceful time you'll have now is gonna be a facade.

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CloudedVision Member

CloudedVision

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That's too bad. While I get the texting coming across as silly and eventually irritating, if it were me, I wouldn't want to shut her down TOO much so as to keep the good aspect (her enjoying lots of sex). It sounds like the texting keeps her "warmed up" which I understand is something that can be important for some women.

 

It might be that the two of you have fundamental incompatibility in your "styles" - in which case it's just not worth it to you to put up with all the texts. I get it actually. That would be too bad, but it is what it is.

 

I am starting to believe that we have two different styles of communication and it's unfortunate, but like you said, it is what it is. This week our conversations felt strained. We have plans later, this will be the first time we see each other since Monday. We're going to a friend's birthday party so we will have buffers.

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CloudedVision Member

CloudedVision

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I honestly think you should call it off and don't drag it any much further,

she can be on her own and find someone who accepts her as the over-texter and sex-crazy woman she is.

 

You are just making her and yourself miserable right now.

 

Whatever peaceful time you'll have now is gonna be a facade.

 

This week was not peaceful, it felt like a void because we didnt correspond that much. Maybe I am too old, like I originally thought, for this type of behaviour in a relationship.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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