November78 Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 If you google something like “what does it means when he locks eyes with me when we meet?”….. you will find tons of articles and youtube videos advising you that he’s attracted to you and what to do blah blah. When we are attracted to a guy, we definitely read into the signals more than we should or although the signals are all there but we must not proceed! I am working in a large company; heaps of guys around. There was a guy; he’s in senior management role; looks roughly mid 40. He looks gorgeous and very smart and confident. For an unknown reason , I was attracted to him from beginning. Later, due to work (I need to produce reports supporting him in his work), we worked briefly together. After that, whenever we met, when I said hello, he looked directly into my eyes and smiled. The look was long like at that moment, there were only us there; no one else; until I walked pass him. One day, I took the courage to lock eyes with him when we met (just once). When we were in company gathering, he looked at me a lot and tried to catch my eyes. When he saw me somewhere unexpected, he behaved like teenager who tried to catch my attention and let me know that he’s there. He said good morning to me when it was afternoon. He checked me out when I walked pass him. I moved to new department, I felt like sometimes he just came to my department just to have a glimpse of me. He walked pass my desk; staring at me. But there’s one thing I noticed, he never said my name. There are other guys in senior management positions or not attracted to me; but they don’t show clear signals like that; just enough so I can read them out. I am wondering maybe because he can read my body language saying that I am attracted to him or something and that intrigues him to react the same way? Guess what? He’s married! I just found out today! Lucky that I didn’t take any actions from all the signals he has been sending out. How come a married guy can have such kind of attraction to a girl. I know that it’s the norm that people have affair when they are married. I also see that some guys, especially when they are in senior roles, in some companies, hoping to have affair with their colleagues….And there’s no exception in my story. It’s just I am not that kind of woman.
smackie9 Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 "He's married!!" huh no surprise there. He did it for an ego boost...so he knows he's still got it, so to speak. It's common for some people who are attached to has a fleeting moment of attraction with someone, but they simply smile and move on. It's been a few feel good moments for him. Will he step over the line? maybe, maybe not. Stop encouraging him...put on the cold shoulder. 2
Versacehottie Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 People still have eyes and like to flirt and feel wanted. It goes both ways. Not commenting on the right or wrong of it since he is married but just because you are in a committed relationship doesn't mean you stop doing those things. If he crosses a line or acts on the signals well yeah that's another thing. It'd be a real boring world if people stopped everything that showed that they were desired and desirable. Plus some of it is unintentional anyway. There are things you can't control, i.e. I have had people think I'm flirting when i'm just being friendly & expressing myself in the way I do. Nothing happens in a bubble. Be flattered, consider that you've learned something about human nature and stay on the side of the line that will keep you out of trouble 1
Gretchen12 Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 My story is better than yours. The guy did all you described and more. Turns out he's gay. Not bi, but gay and has a partner. So it's what you said, reading too much into these things. I'm guilty myself. I appeared to always stare at this guy, andcwhen he looks over at me, I can't help smiling. I was staring at that cutest hat he wears that I wish could be mine. Zero interest in the guy. 2
basil67 Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 Locking eyes and a bit of flirting doesn't always equal intent. He may just be enjoying some kind of connection with no desire to take it any further. 1
preraph Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 Yup. He likes the validation, plus he probably wouldn't mind getting laid on the side. Pretty typical unfortunately.
Author November78 Posted May 2, 2019 Author Posted May 2, 2019 Thanks guys. Now I get the picture, I dont find him attractive anymore. He isnt decent as I thought he would. Not worth a breath for any indecent guys. Yes, we did talk but not as chatty as others would. I had my guard up because workplace isnt a place you like to mess around.
JuneL Posted May 2, 2019 Posted May 2, 2019 Thanks guys. Now I get the picture, I dont find him attractive anymore. He isnt decent as I thought he would. Not worth a breath for any indecent guys. Yes, we did talk but not as chatty as others would. I had my guard up because workplace isnt a place you like to mess around. To be honest, I wouldn’t even call that flirting. 1
Author November78 Posted May 2, 2019 Author Posted May 2, 2019 True. And I didnt mean to flirt either. Not at work.
stillafool Posted May 2, 2019 Posted May 2, 2019 Thanks guys. Now I get the picture, I dont find him attractive anymore. He isnt decent as I thought he would. Not worth a breath for any indecent guys. Yes, we did talk but not as chatty as others would. I had my guard up because workplace isnt a place you like to mess around. Wow, that was a complete turn-around. What changed your mind about him that now he unattractive and not decent? 1
Author November78 Posted May 3, 2019 Author Posted May 3, 2019 Being attracted is the work of mind. Seeing thing in different light would give you the clarification you need. Staring at your subordinates at work like that without intention or with not good intention is pretty much indecent, impolite and a little creepy.
elaine567 Posted May 3, 2019 Posted May 3, 2019 Some people who are attached use that attachment as a position of strength. They flirt, they banter, they ogle, they can act pretty outrageously, but when called out on it, or someone takes them seriously, they go "Don't be silly I am married, I was just being friendly..." They get the validation, without really crossing any lines. "Safe" flirting. It is a flirty little game some people play. Of course some married men can be on the look out for any woman willing to have sex with them, so testing the waters can be a regular practice.
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