BJP1991 Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 Hey All, Been seeing this girl for a month now. We text to setup dates, and that's about it. I've noticed on our dates, she gives indicators of high interest (touching my arms, patting my back, kissing me back after I pull away from kissing her, etc). We had sex on our third date, and the 5th date is lined up for this week - have averaged around 1 date/week for a month now. It seems that whenever I text her, she always takes approximately 30-50 mins to respond. Before we met in person (matched via OLD), she was replying in 5-10 mins everytime, with exclamation marks, some emojis, the works. After our first date, she stopped using all exclamations and went to taking her time to reply, but has always accepted my date offers along the way. I can see myself pursuing LTR with her, but for now I am trying to keep my cool and let things flow naturally without trying to text her all the time How do you guys handle a woman who you think is playing games/playing "hard to get" via text? I simply don't text her other than to arrange dates, so that might be what is influencing her behavior. On our dates, she gives me compliments about myself and on our last date how I "made her bad day so much better once she saw me" as she said at the end of the date. 5th date this week is dinner and a movie at my place, which is what I wanted, but after indicating the time for dinner on the day we selected, she only replied with a "thumbs up" emoji - no words. I didn't bother replying... Obviously, I will go NC until the date - she knows where I live (has been there, on the third date). Any strategies for working with girls who show plenty of interest in person, but then via text they are a little more difficult to read and don't offer a whole lot? I know everyone is different with texting and such, but c'mon - she shows all the signs of high interest in person. 1
Silver_star Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 There are a lot of assumptions being made pretty early on by you. It has only been a month of seeing her, and you have set up dates once a week. That is not bad, you are just getting to know one another and build a rapport. Why are you being so sensitive about the time she takes to respond? This is early days. She could be seeing other people, and not exclusive to you. She could be busy with work, a friend, or she could have her own insecurities and not want to seem to eager to text you all the time. You just don't know. Maybe she is happy with the current situation and wants to let things go naturally too, and since you are only texting to arrange dates maybe she thinks you don't want to talk in between. It seems like you are creating problems where there are none. Just enjoy the time you have together, and if you seem to get along better then start to ASK, rather than assume what is going on in her life, and tell her you really enjoy spending time with her and want to see her more often. See how she responds. 2
clia Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 I'm completely flabbergasted that you think someone who responds to your texts within 30-50 minutes is playing "hard to get." I think that is an extremely reasonable amount of time to respond to a text message. 5th date this week is dinner and a movie at my place, which is what I wanted, but after indicating the time for dinner on the day we selected, she only replied with a "thumbs up" emoji - no words. I didn't bother replying... Obviously, I will go NC until the date - she knows where I live (has been there, on the third date). What more do you want from her? Thumbs up emoji means sounds good, okay. Did you want her to also say the words "Ok?" Honestly, I think you are being really silly about this. 2
Author BJP1991 Posted April 30, 2019 Author Posted April 30, 2019 I'm completely flabbergasted that you think someone who responds to your texts within 30-50 minutes is playing "hard to get." I think that is an extremely reasonable amount of time to respond to a text message. What more do you want from her? Thumbs up emoji means sounds good, okay. Did you want her to also say the words "Ok?" Honestly, I think you are being really silly about this. I guess the reason it is confusing me is because each time we are in person, she shows great indicators of interest. It feels like it could be some game playing or her holding cards closer to her chest. The quality of responses is more of what I’m referring to. To me, an emoji with no words is just a “sure” and nothing more - seemingly not excited about the idea of a date
Logo Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 She didn't have physical face-to-face contact with you before she met you, so her only way of connecting was through text and emojis, and "the works", like you wrote. Now that she is spending time with you in the same physical space, she doesn't need all that to show you how much she likes you. Don't worry about the text. Focus on the dates and enjoying your time with her during the date. The more fun you have, the more she's going to want to spend time with you. The rest will follow. Slow down a little. Do you want a relationship that'll last or one that will quickly fizzle? Make the dates fun, wow her, impress her, show her a good time, give her the best sex she's ever had. The rest will follow. Once you've pulled her in, she'll want more instant gratification through text. She'll crave texts from you. In the meantime, keep them short and to the point. 1
preraph Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 (edited) You have to realize that not everybody is always just sitting by their phone. I mean if they have any kind of real life at all they don't have that phone in front of their face 24/7. Maybe she's in the middle of it test or maybe she's in the middle of doing a task at work or maybe she's in the middle of watching a TV show. Maybe she's outside watering the lawn. You're too controlling. Yesterday I left to go eat lunch and go to the store and I realized when I got to the store that I hadn't even brought my phone with me. Honestly anyone with a life and a job is not going to make it their priority to be right there looking at texts all day. Edited April 30, 2019 by preraph 2
d0nnivain Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 She doesn't like texting but she does like you. Stop looking for problems that don't exist. 1
Foxhall Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 Yes, I read some of these posts and think well "the things that annoy some people" then again you probably think the same of my posts, anyway I would much rather it this way (good in person) than the other way around whereby she was texting you every five minutes and then lukewarm in person, a bit of space is important too, you do not want to be on top of other every five minutes (hmmn I could phrase that better I suppose!) young love and so on eh, I think your on a good one here buddy, chill out and enjoy. 1
TurntSloth1 Posted May 1, 2019 Posted May 1, 2019 Hah, this all sounds so familiar. I was in pretty much the exact same situation as you when I met my now-GF because we never constantly texted each other, but she always accepted my date invitations and seemed keen in person. In my case, my girlfriend simply just doesn’t like to text that much, and as a result we only text each other on average about once every 3 hours anyway, but there’s no question that things are great between us. I’d be lying if I said that early on I didn’t worry, but I guess my best advice from experience is just to relax. Don’t think too much into it, you’re both spending time with each other and she’s obviously interested for it to go this far so just enjoy it. She’s not necessarily playing games just because she doesn’t text as frequently as you’re used to - maybe it’s just not her style. Saying that, a text every 30-50 mins sounds like plenty to me anyway. 1
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