kendahke Posted May 10, 2019 Posted May 10, 2019 but I do understand why many of you got the wrong idea. I [29M] am dating a girl [27F] who is on a 5 day road trip now with her friend who is a girl, and also a guy.We've been dating less than 2 months. Now, early on when we met, I told her I liked her, and she told me she likes this guy (the one who went on the trip with her). Eventually, she chose me to date, and not the guy. She sees me often, and texts me all day essentially, we have sex etc. Her justification for me not to worry that this guy is on the trip with her, is that he's not interested in girls (she says he's asexual but not gay, which I don't buy at all), and she said even if he was interested in girls, he's just a friend (but still, she previously said she had a crush on him to me). I'm not sure how I should feel. During this road trip, she sends me updates, texts me a lot still etc, and also her friend who is a girl is with her. Also, I'm secretly annoyed that she didn't invite me on this trip, and instead, it's her and this guy (and another girl). She's essentially having new and fun experiences with another guy, and not me. She's known him 1 year, and only me for less than 2 months, so I don't want to be forceful/controlling, and maybe they had made these plans in advance, before I even met her, but still, she didn't invite me. Also, I can't tell her to stop being friends with whoever she's already friends with, I feel, because it's fine for a chick to have guy friends too, right? She says I have no reason to worry and I should just trust her. I've shown her signs of me being bothered, but I don't want to seem sensitive either. I see her sending me pictures of the trip, posted stories on IG, and it just pisses me off honestly. This is what we had to go with. Written by you. You do understand that any ideas we got were a result of how you chose to spin this to us, right? We only have your word to go on and if your story isn't really what your thread started out as, the advice won't be accurate to your situation, either. 1
SugarLips72 Posted May 10, 2019 Posted May 10, 2019 It’s totally inappropriate for her to go on a trip with this guy along. Most of us have told you this. What are you going to do about it?
Highndry Posted May 10, 2019 Posted May 10, 2019 It’s totally inappropriate for her to go on a trip with this guy along. Most of us have told you this. What are you going to do about it? There's nothing for him to do. She just told him she's not into him so the OP needs to find a new woman.
Author skanzer Posted May 10, 2019 Author Posted May 10, 2019 Actually, I see what all of you are saying. Remember I slept with 1 random tinder girl last week? I met a different girl on Tinder again, and slept with her too a couple days ago. I'm not saying this to sound "cool", and actually I'm not 100% proud of doing this as I prefer a meaningful longterm relationship, but one alteration I've made to this my approach on this girl, is I've been keeping my options open and limiting my attachment/emotions to this girl. It's just fun at this point. So, if it did end, maybe it'd sting a little but I think I'll be fine. Yes, I like her...but also keep in mind ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE AT RISK of ending, even marriage, FWB or whatever it is. For now I'm just treating this as a 'enjoy it for what it is while it lasts' kind of thing, while being very cautious. But I'm getting consistent sex out of it, and just enjoying it is for now. This chick sees me a lot and gives me attention on her own. I feel like cutting it off would just be a loss. If she was distant, I'd be completely different...but she sees me and talks to me a lot, and I notice she's opening up more and probably catching feels too. And about her not inviting me to her house parties, we just knew each other 2 months, and weren't intimate in the beginning. I should really expect me to immediately invite me to her family house, and open my up to her close knit of friends so soon? About the guy going on the trip, she knew him 1 year, and the trip was planned. I worried to much and made it all about ME. I'm not saying all this to defend her, and the way I framed everything before made it out to be completely different, but I this is my outlook on the situation as it is now. I realized I was expecting TOO MUCH too soon, too early on.
d0nnivain Posted May 10, 2019 Posted May 10, 2019 And about her not inviting me to her house parties, we just knew each other 2 months, and weren't intimate in the beginning. I should really expect me to immediately invite me to her family house, and open my up to her close knit of friends so soon? . Maybe. When you say "family house" what do you mean? If she still lives at home with mom & dad maybe I can understand why you were not invited to the 1st party that happened right after she met you. But if she hosted more then one party in the 2 months that you have known her & these weren't strict family events like Easter or grandma's birthday, yes it's off that you were excluded. I'm glad you decided to chill & dial everything back, keeping your options open.
Amethyst68 Posted May 10, 2019 Posted May 10, 2019 Does she know you're having sex with other girls? Please tell me you're using protection....
Author skanzer Posted May 10, 2019 Author Posted May 10, 2019 Does she know you're having sex with other girls? Please tell me you're using protection.... No she doesn't. Yes I use protection always...why?
elaine567 Posted May 10, 2019 Posted May 10, 2019 Well if as you think she is catching feels and you are having sex with other women and she doesn't know, then that is pretty despicable behaviour on your part. 1
Highndry Posted May 10, 2019 Posted May 10, 2019 Well if as you think she is catching feels and you are having sex with other women and she doesn't know, then that is pretty despicable behaviour on your part. Not really. She straight up told him she wasn't into him. 1
BaileyB Posted May 11, 2019 Posted May 11, 2019 Well if as you think she is catching feels and you are having sex with other women and she doesn't know, then that is pretty despicable behaviour on your part. I agree. Let’s say we meet and we want to date, I ask about your sexual history OP and you tell me this... that’s the end of that. I don’t date guys who have sex with random women. That’s just me, but it’s also lots of other women... If she’s not that into you then why don’t you “break up” - then you are both free to date and have sex with whoever you want. I would like to think by two+ months when you are having sex that you would know whether you like each other to want to be exclusive...
Amethyst68 Posted May 11, 2019 Posted May 11, 2019 (edited) Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this girl under the impression you've only been seeing each other for the past 2 months? She deserves to know you're dating and having sex with other girls. It's a matter of respect. This kind of sounds likes a passive aggressive way of getting back at your resentment at her for the road trip with the other guy Edited May 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator typo 1
kendahke Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 Actually, I see what all of you are saying. Remember I slept with 1 random tinder girl last week? I met a different girl on Tinder again, and slept with her too a couple days ago. I'd call you both even now. You both now have a secret weapon in your bag.
doyathinkso Posted May 12, 2019 Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) It would appear that neither you nor she are particularly faithful people. Why, .... You're Made for each other!! Carry on. Edited May 12, 2019 by doyathinkso 2
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