Insoc Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 So I met a Woman who is over 50 and never been Married, nor has she been in a real LTR according to her, me on the other hand have and am recently Divorced. I have been reading up on things, that Men or Woman who often are in this category, never marriedm and have not really had a LTR in their life, that they are use to being alone and independent. While I don't know if this Woman knows how to treat a Man yet or what quirks I may expect to experience, I do see a few things, but nothing to Red Flag me. I just wonder if she can adapt to being in a relationship or is it too late? So what can I expect, anyone have any experiences they like to share? I have been on OLD for 6+ months now and met plenty of Woman who had "If you have never been married, do not contact me" in their profiles, in other words, they are not interested in a Never Married Man.
Lotsgoingon Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 There's no way to answer this without first collecting data in the form of spending time with her ... There are random people out there who are healthy who just haven't had a relationship click ... they might be craving time with others ... Throw out the theories. This is one person--not an average according to some study of long-time single people. Go out, talk, listen, interact and see what you think of this one person. You'll eventually (assuming you guys have some kinda click) get a close look at her life . You like her, keep going ... If you see red flags, discuss, question, and hit pause. There is no reason in the world you need to make any decisions ahead of time. 5
Author Insoc Posted April 29, 2019 Author Posted April 29, 2019 There's no way to answer this without first collecting data in the form of spending time with her ... There are random people out there who are healthy who just haven't had a relationship click ... they might be craving time with others ... Throw out the theories. This is one person--not an average according to some study of long-time single people. Go out, talk, listen, interact and see what you think of this one person. You'll eventually (assuming you guys have some kinda click) get a close look at her life . You like her, keep going ... If you see red flags, discuss, question, and hit pause. There is no reason in the world you need to make any decisions ahead of time. Thanks, I do like her but she sometimes does not respond to things I say on the phone when we are talking, like her mind is elsewhere or it could be she is just tired. Also not that I like e-mails or texts, but sometimes she doesn't respond fully or at all, I'll have to bring it up on the phone to get a response. I thought maybe this was due to her way of being alone, not sure how to respond or inept in having a reason to respond. I don't take it personal but it's sometimes odd because if I did it, she would text me to get a response, which happened the other day, she responded to an e-mail but didn't say anything about what i said, I never responded and 1 hour later I got a text from her saying "Hey how is it going?" 10 minutes later I responded and she called me right away.
bachdude Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 Thanks, I do like her but she sometimes does not respond to things I say on the phone when we are talking, like her mind is elsewhere or it could be she is just tired. Also not that I like e-mails or texts, but sometimes she doesn't respond fully or at all, I'll have to bring it up on the phone to get a response. I thought maybe this was due to her way of being alone, not sure how to respond or inept in having a reason to respond. I don't take it personal but it's sometimes odd because if I did it, she would text me to get a response, which happened the other day, she responded to an e-mail but didn't say anything about what i said, I never responded and 1 hour later I got a text from her saying "Hey how is it going?" 10 minutes later I responded and she called me right away. It almost sounds like adult ADD.
chillii Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 l'm 50s and would def' prefer she'd been married and had relationships buttttt, l'd still be willing to spend time with her, open mind and just see how it goes. lt's a strange thing though isn't it and you couldn't help but wonder that's for sure. No doubt things would start to show before long if she does have issues so up to you. What does she say about it , career or any other reasons ? l do know 2 people myself like that , a guy and a woman , both 50s , both had some short relationship thing in their 20s, separately not with each other, but both nothing since. Both are good people but admittedly do have pretty odd type personalities and ways where l couldn't see either of them adapting to anything long term now. Has she even had short relationships , l know both these two have had a few short things a long the way but nothing much. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 50 is nothing. I'm going to look for a younger husband when I hit 65. I need someone to take care of me when health starts failing. It's unlikely that she will be able to let go of her love of being alone but you can give it a shot. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 It's definitely something to keep an eye on. Right now the communication issues require your focus. If she can't get that right -- & by "right" I mean you & her are compatible -- that may be why you can't continue to date her. Talk to her about it in person & see if it improves. You need good communication & responsiveness in many areas of life: work, family, friendships etc. so if she's just a poor communicator that is a more systemic problem.
kendahke Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 You. Just. Met. Her. and already judgments... How about getting to know her a little bit better before running down her character because you haven't asked for what you want/need?
JuneL Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 I think she’s probably used to living without incorporating others into her life, so there might be quite a bit of adjustments in the initial stage. But it’s not at all a dealbreaker. I would be more wary if it was a 50-year-old man. The men (or boys!) I know that fall into this category are either a player (with a stream of short-term/casual relationships) or a peter pan (you probably have to take care of him like his mother).
SevenCity Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 Dating women in their 40s, when I found ones who were never married I also found the reasons why. Your mileage may vary. That said, it’s ironic that being divorced is a qualifier to be a good relationship partner. 1
JuneL Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 Dating women in their 40s, when I found ones who were never married I also found the reasons why. Your mileage may vary. That said, it’s ironic that being divorced is a qualifier to be a good relationship partner. But this can also be said of those divorced folks: you found the reasons why they were divorced! 1
SevenCity Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 But this can also be said of those divorced folks: you found the reasons why they were divorced! Very true. Dating over 40 is a PITA lol. It’s mostly garbage left over, or those which require a lot of work. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 Very true. Dating over 40 is a PITA lol. It’s mostly garbage left over, or those which require a lot of work. True, that's why I stopped dating.
JuneL Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 Very true. Dating over 40 is a PITA lol. It’s mostly garbage left over, or those which require a lot of work. Even some/many of those married and never divorced folks are just staying in an unfulfilled marriage. It suffices to say everybody after a certain age has tons of baggage 1
snowcones Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 (edited) Never married men over 35 scare the mess out of me. And I really don't care why they've never been married. Even some/many of those married and never divorced folks are just staying in an unfulfilled marriage. It suffices to say everybody after a certain age has tons of baggage Yes E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E Edited April 29, 2019 by snowcones 1
preraph Posted April 29, 2019 Posted April 29, 2019 She's alone and she's 50. She's busy trying to keep a roof over her head and likely has no time for texting chitchat. She does everything herself. Groceries, cooking, paying bills, taking care of the car. She isn't going to have time or energy to just communicate for no reason. So call her when you want to ask her out and talk while you're out. Does she have a roommate? Just because someone isn't married doesn't necessarily mean they don't know how to cohabitate. I hate roommates, so I am 66, never married and any roommate sounds like a nightmare to me. I wouldn't be able to relax with someone in the house. An independent person can be single simply because they aren't going to settle. That does not mean they couldn't find the right person and try to make it work. But don't expect them to move mountains to make a relationship work or anything like that. It will just have to be right and not forced. 1
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