iceknite Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 (edited) I’ve been chatting with this girl I met on an online dating app for about a couple weeks now. Things seem to be going well but she is a bit shy and nervous so she wanted more time texting over phone before meeting in person, which was fine with me. She did eventually agree to meet and we tentatively made plans for this past Monday. She later had to cancel to babysit her niece so we made plans for Tuesday instead. She cancels again, this time saying that her roommate’s parents were going over for dinner and they had to cleanup and get the food ready. She had other plans yesterday and today while I was busy Wednesday so we didn’t set anything up. So I text her this morning to see how her night went and to see if she had plans this weekend. Her brother is running a video game expo in town and said she’d be there helping him out all day tomorrow. I had actually talked to a friend about going to this expo and mentioned this to her, while also saying maybe we’ll meet each other at the expo and haven’t received a reply in almost 3 hours now. I noticed that 5 mins after my text she viewed my profile again on the dating app we met on. Within another 5 mins I get a call from a number I don’t recognize so I don’t answer it(they’ll leave a msg if it’s not the wrong number). Shortly after that I get another call, this time there’s a name of a girl. I noticed that the first name was the same as the girl’s best friend and roommate which she had mentioned in an earlier text. So I search the name on Facebook and sure enough this seems to be the girl’s roommate, they were friends and wrote on each other’s wall a few times. Maybe another 20 mins later I get a text from the first caller saying “Sorry both times wrong number”. Now I think it would be quite the coincidence for this girl’s best friend to just happen to call the wrong number and get me both times. Can anybody explain to me what just happened?? Still haven’t heard back since the last text, should I text her back and ask why her friend called me? Edited April 26, 2019 by iceknite
preraph Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 I guess she's showing her friend what's going on. She's put you off for family three times now, isn't it? Who wants to be part of that? 2
TheFinalWord Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 This whole thing is weird. I would stop texting her. It sounds like she's making excuses. She knows you like her. You don't need to send her anymore texts. And she knows that she can flake on you and you'll tolerate her flakiness. Whenever you feel a need to stalk someone you don't know to assess their behaviors, it's already off to a bad start. You want to date a woman that is emotionally available, doesn't flake, and doesn't require stalking to get the truth. 3
Foxhall Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 you may be overthinking this one, I suspect it is merely a case of the lady being nervous and getting cold feet at the thought of meeting you in person, for shyer people especially there is a certain trepidation in actually meeting an online friend in person. IMO you need to phone her, reassure her that you are a decent bloke and so on, turn on the charm and make her feel more comfortable about meeting you. or convince the friend even that she is talking too about this.
The Outlaw Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 She probably wouldn't be a good bet for anything serious at all, so just keep looking.
Flame Aura Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 Cancelling the first date to look after her niece is fair enough. The second one though, she chose to clean up and cook over meeting you? Not good enough. What does her room mates parents coming over have to do with her? Cleaning and making food doesn't take long. Excuse. The expo thing doesn't really seem like the best place to meet for the first time, don't think she wants every guy from a dating app meeting her brother straight away. If you were already planning to go then fair enough tell her you are going there already and you can meet her in the cafe there or whatever place they have and get a drink. If she makes another excuse then you know what to do. Next. 2
Versacehottie Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 eh, i'd be worried about this one. I agree with you, OP, i think that it's her and her friend stalking on you with the texts and phone calls. People rarely text to say they called the wrong phone. Ridiculous. Seeing through that one. I think she is scared to meet you thus all the cancelations. She sounds immature and doubtful about you, not a good combination. My prediction is she will flake again. For the record, I think meeting at the expo for the first time isn't the best idea. Good luck 1
JuneL Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 My friends and I sometimes touch the wrong “button” and accidentally call those people whose numbers are stored in our phones. We may text to say sorry following that. In your case, her roommate probably tried getting her to call you, but she might chicken out. I can’t see how that’s stalking you on their part.
Author iceknite Posted April 30, 2019 Author Posted April 30, 2019 So just want to give everyone an update. The friend called back and this time I answered. When I asked who it was, she hesitated for second then said she was April(probably looked around and saw April on the calendar lol) and that I had given her my number from this dating app. I never met a girl named April on any dating site and I knew that wasn’t her name anyway because it came up on my call display. For some reason I played along and pretended that she was this April who I never spoke to before. She then asked me if knew some particular guy who apparently screwed her friend over(the one I was actually speaking to) and I said no because I had never heard of the guy. That was the extent of the conversation. I should also mention that almost immediately after I hang up, the girl texted me back saying that she blacked out earlier that morning because she has asthma and forgot her inhaler at home. I expressed some concern for her safety assuming something this elaborate wouldn’t be just another excuse, but I’ve realized that this likely won’t work out and haven’t spoken to her since. Seems like this girl has too many insecurities and baggage. 1
Versacehottie Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 Ummmmm understatement of the year with "baggage". This is so weird. Verging on some sort of scam or pathological lying. Whether she is shy, crippled by anxiety or whatever, someone that lies this easily will continue to do it. The stories are fantastical. IMO, people who do sh*t like this think they are pulling the wool over your eyes and come up with some outrageous sh*t continually. There is no reason to lie or do these shenanigans at this point, why??? It's who she is. Good-bye! lol, good luck with the next one
JuneL Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 (edited) Are these elementary school kids? Because even high school kids are less immature than that! You dodged a big bullet. I was too generous in my previous reply. Edited April 30, 2019 by JuneL
basil67 Posted April 30, 2019 Posted April 30, 2019 Meh - shyness, anxiety, baggage, flake, fake.....it really doesn't matter what the reason is. The upshot is that she's a poor candidate. Also, none of those cancellations were legit. Can you babysit? "No, sorry I have other plans". Helping at the expo? She would have known of these plans way in advance and not booked you. If she didn't know in advance, she should tell him she can do some of it but has also has other plans she needs to do. Can you help clean and cook for the flatmates parents? "I will mop the floor and clean my stuff away, but I can't do more because I have plans"
spiderowl Posted May 2, 2019 Posted May 2, 2019 I think you are best leaving her to it. She has flaked too often now and is likely to do so again, should you manage to arrange another date with her. I would back off and not bother texting her any more. If she is interested in you, she will try to make contact and keep contact. If she suggests meeting, I would just be too busy. Whether she's interested but anxious or simply not interested, she ought to learn to respect that you have commitments too.
Recommended Posts