Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 My most recent ex & I had a bit of a wee break up & then got back together & it continued this way for quite some time. That should be enough signs of major inconsistency, toxicity and incompatibility but I met up with him last night & I have felt euphoric ever since. Nothing romantic between us, we both agreed we will always love each other. I'm more of a free spirit & He's more structured. We really did try to work with one another. My other ex's treated me unremorsefully bad in comparison. My ex, however, despite @ times being slightly controlling, still had the best intentions. I just don't know how to process & move on from this. Can I or anyone really find someone that loves them passionately & unconditionally or will there always be an element of trying to change for the other. I've never been more confused about love before now!
bachdude Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 What do you mean by toxicity? I don't think you need to 'change' for the other if all you mean is he is structured and You are a free spirt. I think love is just the opposite- you allow the other to be who they are. You may need to meet in the middle time to time but not change your basic personality. But what made it toxic? This probably has nothing to do with your basic personality differences but something much deeper.
BaileyB Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 My most recent ex & I had a bit of a wee break up & then got back together & it continued this way for quite some time. My ex, however, despite @ times being slightly controlling, still had the best intentions. You have a wee bit of a knack for understatement, don’t you. If memory serves, he was more than slightly controlling. You are minimizing a little here, because your swimming in hormones right now, Yes, I hope that you will find a man who will love you passionately. And when you do, he will love you for the person you are and you will be allowed to be who you are - in the relationship. It’s a novel concept, but trust me... when you find the right man, it will be easy and you will feel wonderful. Don’t let these hormones fool you - this wasn’t the right guy. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 You don't have to be in lock step to have a great relationship. My husband is an introvert; I'm an extrovert. We are of opposite political parties (yes even in this climate). I love the beach; he gets PTSD flashbacks to desert warfare combat operations. I overthink everything; he floats through life seemingly unconcerned. I'm a spender; he's a saver. On paper many people would say we don't work but we find ways to make our differences bring us together. You need to have balance in any relationship. When you find that sweet spot you celebrate it. 3
Lotsgoingon Posted April 26, 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 I met up with him last night & I have felt euphoric ever since. Nothing romantic between us, we both agreed we will always love each other. Hold on these two sentences contradict each other. Nothing romantic ... and yet you feel euphoric in love ... Something here is off ... You probably meet no full-out romantic touching and making out ... there was likely tons of romantic energy going between you or you wouldn't be feeling euphoric ... Point two, "love" (or perhaps euphoric feelings of love) has little to do with romantic compatibility. A relationship needs love + lots of compatibility and understanding and the ability or two people to complement each other and create something as a team that is greater than the sum of the two parts. Two people have to know how to bring the best out in each other ... work together ... compromise ... resolve conflicts ... mesh in a day-to-day living way ... BTW: one argument with this guy and your current euphoric love will vanish and you won't be able to find a trace of it in the air. 1
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