ZA Dater Posted April 24, 2019 Posted April 24, 2019 Ok so to try and drag some form of either closure (being to decide I don't want to try anymore) or find some form of success I have been on a few dates. 1: 23yo 2: 36yo 3: 37yo I tried to mix these dates up, coffee dates, movies, dinners, telephone conversations, etc. Truthfully none of these people wowed me at all, there was just nothing that made me think "I want to see you again". This is a recurring theme with me though, its just to a point now where I think maybe 1 in 100 people will actually interest me but do I really want to spend the fruitless time wading through 99 to find that 1? Explaining this here is impossible but the best example I could give is the yoga instructor I met a few times earlier this year, she was fun to be around, her outgoing happy bubbly personality the complete opposite of me, really liked spending time with her notwithstanding how different we are. None of these dates really gave me that sense, both the older ones had lots of baggage, ex boyfriends, kid, family issues to the extent that I didn't see much benefit of adding all of that to my already full plate. The 23yo while intelligent just was not physically attractive at all, her pictures were very old because she looked nothing like them. Just finding this whole process very unrewarding and tedious. The point being I don't think age has much bearing, if anything the older one seems to go the more baggage one is going to find. One of the older ones has taken some sort of project interest in me but again there is no wow there for me, perhaps I am taking an overly dispassionate view of this but if I don't feel anything for them is there any point in seeing them again?
chillii Posted April 24, 2019 Posted April 24, 2019 Nope , no piont at all in my book. But couldn't you tell they weren't your type to this degree before you even bothered. Yaknow, you don't just pick anyone, you pick someone special that seems to be everything you like. For me that's not even close to one in 100, not 1000. My kinda woman is a one off, l never bothered with the rest there's no point. like you got it right with the yoga girl , you seem to like everything about her,, it just didn't work, well that happens. But go for girls like her and one will work or for girls that effect you like her or with those similar traits.
Foxhall Posted April 24, 2019 Posted April 24, 2019 yes it is not easy the dating game, I actually find the old adage about first impressions does ring true, you have to feel that enjoyment of being in her company in that first 20-30 minutes, although it may take years to get to know the person!! Personally Ive been on about 20 dates in the last two years (18 of these were online) I have built friendships with the two dates that came through normal life and one friendship with the online dates. the majority of the dates were not memorable and still searching for "the one" I don't know, I actually enjoy making friends now even on a date and that is not necessarily easy either, not sure though I still feel it will happen that will meet the right girl and am far from finished yet!
RedHead5 Posted April 25, 2019 Posted April 25, 2019 Sounds like you need someone on the same mental wavelength as you. Keep looking, it's out there. Maybe you just aren't looking in the right places or looking for the correct traits to indicate what you really want.
alphamale Posted April 25, 2019 Posted April 25, 2019 dating is a two way street, just cause you like them doesn't mean they will like you 1
Author ZA Dater Posted April 25, 2019 Author Posted April 25, 2019 dating is a two way street, just cause you like them doesn't mean they will like you Bit like playing the lottery, you can pick the numbers but the numbers might not pick you.
NuevoYorko Posted April 25, 2019 Posted April 25, 2019 Ok so to try and drag some form of either closure (being to decide I don't want to try anymore) or find some form of success I have been on a few dates. 1: 23yo 2: 36yo 3: 37yo I tried to mix these dates up, coffee dates, movies, dinners, telephone conversations, etc. Truthfully none of these people wowed me at all, there was just nothing that made me think "I want to see you again". This is a recurring theme with me though, its just to a point now where I think maybe 1 in 100 people will actually interest me but do I really want to spend the fruitless time wading through 99 to find that 1? Alrighty then. This outlook should solve a lot of your problems. If it takes such a cosmic convergence for you to be interested enough in a woman to see her twice - one in one hundred - surely you can easily wrap your mind around why most women don't feel "wowed" by you to the point of wanting to see you again either? It would take most people several years, if not decades, to date 100 different people in order to find a single one worthy of a second meeting. Thank God this is not the norm. Otherwise the human race would have died out long ago. On second thought, who's to say that would be such a bad thing?
guest569 Posted April 25, 2019 Posted April 25, 2019 Those figures seem reasonable to me,but don't go and meet all 100 of them. I'll only bother to meet the special one or maybe half dozen who already "wow" me. Might occasionally date one that I'm "meh" about online but have a feeling there is more there to explore in person. When I do go and meet them, I already have a good idea on who they are and whether or not I'm attracted to them. I think its worth it. Sometimes the dates fall flat but you have to try to find out.
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