Chrys31 Posted April 23, 2019 Posted April 23, 2019 I met a man 10 days ago, through online dating, we had a first date and everything was great, we said to meet again before i.went on a short holiday. I texted him on the day of the date for good morning ànd we said to meet at 8 pm . Then around afternoon i found that this place that i had chosen to go unfortunately was closed today and if we could go somewhere else. He answered that he got stuck on a job and said sorry he couldn't be there at the agreed time and hopefully i would let him take me out after my holiday or today. I told him that if he doesnt want to meet that night, that's fine and he said he was looking forward to this. He did apologise many times and said he wants to make it up to me, take me out after i am back and give me a neck massage . He said he feels bad and i said that these things happen sometimes so no need to worry. Throughout my holiday we have been texting, amd he mentioned many times to hopefully meet soon when i am back. I told him i will be back from holiday today when he texted me in the morning and he said that he thought i would stay longer, asked him if he was working and said he took 5 days off because his dad is in the hospital and said to speak when im back. Of course i said that i hope its nothing serious and also that i hope he is ok. For the background, he is a single dad, he told me he is 8 months single and his last relationship was with the mother of his kids with who was engaged. He also told me that he is in reality two yrs over with her. Also for the second date he texted me one day prior to confirm if we are still on. Im not sure to be honest if the guy wants to meet me or stringing me along for whatever reason. The other question is, is he really as single as he says? This is from online so its a bit difficult to trust 100%
emeraldgreen Posted April 23, 2019 Posted April 23, 2019 Third thread about the same guy so I would say that mentally nexting this would be good for you to feel the freedom to move ahead. You had a great first date but unfortunately, you have to judge things on today, not back them. He might genuinely have all this stuff going on, but I guess a guy split between so many commitments is going to put you last on a long list anyway. Perhaps just cease contact and let him chase. I mean, really chase. Chances are the only thing holding together the connection is you.
Author Chrys31 Posted April 23, 2019 Author Posted April 23, 2019 He already chased via texts etc. But youre right i guess i won't initiate any contact from now on
TheFinalWord Posted April 24, 2019 Posted April 24, 2019 After another poster mentioned about your other threads, from a quick glance, it appears you have trust issues in general. You can't know any of the answers to these questions. The main advice is to look at actions, not words, and don't allow yourself to fall for someone that quick in the online world. Online is EXTREMELY flaky. You can't really take people too seriously, even if you have a good first date. I say this from experience. You'll find a lot of single parents (which means you won't come first and there will be lots of cancellations/plans changing), people right out of a relationship looking for validation, people with mental disorders like depression or anxiety, and then you'll occasionally meet the needle in the haystack where you have normal people using online as a supplemental way of meeting people.
Author Chrys31 Posted April 24, 2019 Author Posted April 24, 2019 After another poster mentioned about your other threads, from a quick glance, it appears you have trust issues in general. You can't know any of the answers to these questions. The main advice is to look at actions, not words, and don't allow yourself to fall for someone that quick in the online world. Online is EXTREMELY flaky. You can't really take people too seriously, even if you have a good first date. I say this from experience. You'll find a lot of single parents (which means you won't come first and there will be lots of cancellations/plans changing), people right out of a relationship looking for validation, people with mental disorders like depression or anxiety, and then you'll occasionally meet the needle in the haystack where you have normal people using online as a supplemental way of meeting people. Well the guy cancelled allegedly because of a work issue. I guess the best thing now is just back off. Not sure if he is ready to date anyway. Really want to meet someone normal
TheFinalWord Posted April 24, 2019 Posted April 24, 2019 LOL we all do! Online is really flaky. Try not to get too excited when you match with some. When I first started, I can't tell you the number of times I matched with someone, they would text me all the time, call me, then one day they just stopped. No explanation. Moral of the story. Don't get into the texting thing. Make them earn texting you all day. Physical dates. Anything less, and don't focus on it. I've learned to meet as soon as possible and if they aren't making effort to arrange dates, don't burn the bridge, but put THEM on the backburner. If he calls, maybe you're free, maybe not. Don't keep Friday open because maybe he'll call.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted April 24, 2019 Posted April 24, 2019 Third thread about the same guy so I would say that mentally nexting this would be good for you to feel the freedom to move ahead. You had a great first date but unfortunately, you have to judge things on today, not back them. He might genuinely have all this stuff going on, but I guess a guy split between so many commitments is going to put you last on a long list anyway. Perhaps just cease contact and let him chase. I mean, really chase. Chances are the only thing holding together the connection is you. Harder done then said, but very true. The 1st date can be amazing, but if I would look at actions after the 1st date, not dwell on great it went. I've had great 1st dates and ended up getting lead by the nose by that same guy. He would tell me how much he wanted see me and never make another date.
Author Chrys31 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Posted April 25, 2019 Harder done then said' date=' but very true. The 1st date can be amazing, but if I would look at actions after the 1st date, not dwell on great it went. I've had great 1st dates and ended up getting lead by the nose by that same guy. He would tell me how much he wanted see me and never make another date.[/quote'] Right....why tho??? It us just silly and timewasting. The only way i can explain this is if someone ain't really single. After his cancellation i haven't asked to see him again but he tells me how he wants to see me.
basil67 Posted April 25, 2019 Posted April 25, 2019 More likely explanation is that he had an even better first date with someone else. You're considering multiple people at the same time, no reason he shouldn't be doing the same. One of the pitfalls with this whole multi-dating thing - there's always a new shiny thing just around the corner.
RedHead5 Posted April 25, 2019 Posted April 25, 2019 Cut back texting until you meet in person. Don't waste your time....as other posters have said, online dating is full of these texters giving you a job interview before they meet you. But then what if you meet and no chemistry? I unmatched if they didn't ask me out with a week with minimal texting. And don't worry about other girls...yeah it's a possibility but better to have the mentality of you are the best choice anyway and keep it casual the first few months. Sometimes these guys need a push and sometimes they will never leap. I never minded dropping hints but if they didn't pick up on it, I didn't ask them out either.
Author Chrys31 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Posted April 25, 2019 Cut back texting until you meet in person. Don't waste your time....as other posters have said, online dating is full of these texters giving you a job interview before they meet you. But then what if you meet and no chemistry? I unmatched if they didn't ask me out with a week with minimal texting. And don't worry about other girls...yeah it's a possibility but better to have the mentality of you are the best choice anyway and keep it casual the first few months. Sometimes these guys need a push and sometimes they will never leap. I never minded dropping hints but if they didn't pick up on it, I didn't ask them out either. What im saying is maybe he isn't really single as he told me he is? Well i only do consider multiple because of the flakiness. Otherwise i would not. But he says he wants to see me and has said it many times so far. Anyway lets see
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