Emin Posted April 21, 2019 Posted April 21, 2019 Hi guys, I've been together with my high school sweetheart for 10 years and we've been through many ups and downs during time frame. Few months ago, when we were out celebrating our 10 year anniversary, she brought the idea of moving in together. We're both 26 years old and it is very reasonable to start planning life together. Honestly I had not thought that before and it came as a shock to me. The thing is, for the past 6-7 months we've been very distant and our relationship was down to basic communication and in 'comfort' zone. By comfort zone I mean she didn't take care much of herself in terms of what to wear when we go out, exercise and look nice for herself and for me also, we were barely going out. As soon as the idea of moving in together popped up, I started to feel anxious and scared and has been going on for 3 months now. At first, I did not know the source of the issue, but as time went by I acknowledged that I have doubts and insecurities about our relationship. I have felt distant to my girlfriend and as if we shouldn't be together because I have lost my feelings for her. We have discussed and decided to work more actively on our relationship and be more close to each other emotionally and physically. As soon as we spoke that some things needs to be addressed more, such as taking care of herself, going out more, spending more time together etc. I've noticed the effect almost immediately which was really nice. I know that things take time, but I still haven't calmed my soul and mind and I'm still scared and anxious about this situation. Maybe I am missing something? Is it maybe separation from home issue, financial issue? I can't seem to find the source of my troubled mind and work on it. I don't want to be insecure and scared because I've been through many situations in life which I've handled much better than this and I don't want to feel this way. I know I can do better. Your help would be much appreciated.
d0nnivain Posted April 21, 2019 Posted April 21, 2019 Sadly this moving in together conversation came as a shock to you because you are not thinking about the future. She may have gotten comfortable in her appearance but you have grown complacent too. Granted you started in HS but seriously, did you honestly think you would just date forever? At 26 with you being the only guy she knows she is thinking about marriage & kids too. Those are the steps after moving in together & she will expect them quickly given how long you have been together. It's time for some soul searching. Do you see yourself as her husband & Father to her children? If not, you need to tell her. If you are having some sort of issue about sowing wild oats, dating other women, exploring the world etc. you need to talk to her about this, sooner rather than later. It's time to fish or cut bait.
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