maecross Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 I'm hoping you guys could help me a little - sorry my story is going to be a bit long. I met this Latino guy in a short term course. He is literally fresh off the boat from his country to the US and he therefore speaks very minimal English (I speak no Spanish). He is completely different from typical Americans and I suppose his dating style is also completely different. He made his "love" for me clear from the first days we met in class and after our short term course is finished, he started messaging me. He said he likes me very much multiple times over texts but then his messages are sometimes sexual so I was wondering if he only liked me because he wants sex. Only sex is not exactly me but I like him so I want to give it a shot. We talked a couple of weeks before we saw each other again. We had a romantic date but I think I completely messed up. We sat by the river, talked, ate a meal and kissed passionately many times. I could feel the electricity running through my body. He told me he liked me the moment he saw me and he's really attracted to me, etc. As we walked our way back, he held my hands interlocked and I felt so sweet that I could melt BUT THEN I got scared he's becoming too serious with us. I kinda withdrew and held his hands in a more "casual" way. He wanted me to go to his place but I didn't take up the offer and he took it gracefully. At the end of the date, he asked when he could see me again, to which I said the following week, and then he suggested we can video call in between. I dont know what's going on with me but I denied because I was afraid he would get too possessive (was told Latinos can be a bit like that sometimes). I thought about him so much in the next days and decided I like him enough to take a leap of faith despite the cultural difference and significant language barrier. I knew I sort of screwed up the first date but I assumed he wouldn't lose interest given he has told me so many times he likes me and would send a follow up text. He didn't and so I did. I said I think about him a lot and I like him (something I didn't tell him in texts before). He responded immediately but his tone completely changed. He did say he also has been thinking about "it" a lot (our text messages are Google translated so I honestly don't know if his sentence meant "you" or "it"). In any case, from his tone I can sense he's evaluating the situation and pulling away. He still send me a kiss emoticon and I'd interpret it as he hasn't 100% decided that this is over but he's no longer sure about us. I'm always good at dating guys I'm not too attracted to but somehow when it comes to guys I actually like, I'm blinded so I'd appreciate some thoughts from your cool heads: - Sounds naive, but do you think he actually likes me or is he only in for the sex? If he's only in for the sex, I won't need to consider the next question - Should I video call him as he has suggested? I feel the need to tell him "face-to-face" the electricity I felt on the first date, and explain that I only appear withdrawn because I wasn't accustomed to such intimacy on first dates (American guys typically keeps a "safe" distance on first dates!) - Or should I just let it be and pray that he will come back to me? I already told him I like him after the date so I also don't wanna appear desperate and chase after him. Thanks so much for reading and your input!!
preraph Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 He's been up front about he loved you from the minute he saw you, so yeah, it's about sex. No one knows someone from just seeing them enough to know if they like them, much less love them. I would keep the dates out in public places for now. Because with the language barrier, it will be hard for you to know what he is like as a person.
Jesstada Posted April 21, 2019 Posted April 21, 2019 I find Latin people very passionate and real. They are like fire and don't overthink their feelings like others do. I think what he meant by love you at first sight is that he felt strongly for you, often this is sexual (that's how men are), but it also doesn't rule out that he finds you charming and beautiful. I'd say give him reasons to want to develope something more meaningful. After all he doesn't know you yet, so make him and let him. Go on a few dates, get to know each other a bit better before having sex.
Author maecross Posted April 21, 2019 Author Posted April 21, 2019 I should clarify: he was very excited about me when we first met in class and he kept saying how beautiful he thinks I am in front of everyone in class so people (including his friends) were all like he's so in love with me, etc. He only said he liked me a lot on the last day of the course and asked if he should start contacting me, to which I said yes. He was a bit crazy showing his affection for me but he never said he loves me (which is good). The reason I was concerned that sex is his only purpose is because he always touched on sexual topics in his messages. If it was an American, I would have taken the hint already but when it comes to a Latin person, idont know if there's the possibility that they are just more sexual/ more expressive. Also, our language barrier is significant but his English skills is enough for a good conversation (with Google Translate's help). So we talked a lot about family, life, etc. plus we were taking the class together for two months so he's definitely "safer" than a stranger met on Tinder or something. Well I would go on more dates with him but I fear he might be ghosting me like I said in my original post. I just dont know whether he was offended about some things on the first date and whether I should contact him to rectify things, or should I just stop making a fool of myself and drop it....
smackie9 Posted April 21, 2019 Posted April 21, 2019 Sex is always first and foremost part of getting to know someone. Like I always say, sex is not currency that buys you a relationship. No one can promise that a relationship will come out of this no matter how cool you play it. If you want to see where this goes, have sex with him and enjoy. If nothing comes out of this, at least you had a great passionate time.
stillafool Posted April 21, 2019 Posted April 21, 2019 Latino men are highly passionate and sexual. I imagine he is horny as hell if he just got here and is probably looking for sex. Their romantic words usually get them laid quickly. Just make sure he doesn't talk you into marriage to gain citizenship.
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