ericw899 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 So there is this girl I follow on Instagram who is a bartender at this bar. I saw her post that she was working so I decided to try this place out. The second I walk in she knew who I was because she used to work in the gym I go to, although we have never talked before. I actually follow her on Instagram because I saw her handle on tinder so we’re not exactly acquaintances. Anyway she was very friendly & talkative & really tried to get to know me. We did some light flirting & I told her she looked beautiful which she smiled to. At the end of the night I asked her when she works & she told me & I said I’ll be back which she seemed very happy to hear. One thing that caught me by surprise was that she knew my name. I found this weird because when she worked at the gym she wasn’t the check in lady. Anyways my question is, if I keep going back there & we talk & get to know each other more, is it realistically possible to ask her on a date? To be clear I’m not stupid, I know she works for tips & being friendly is her job, but is it worth trying to get with her or should I just forget about it?
kendahke Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 you can do anything you wish within reason. Go ahead and ask. She may not accept because she's already got a boyfriend (that's part of that "it's her business and she'll let you know when you need to know) or it's her job to get the customers to keep buying drinks, so if it takes flirting, they'll flirt. Depends if you take rejection badly whether or not to ask her out.
smackie9 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 (edited) IMO you should just simply ask her out. Don't be so beta being a hang around at her job. I worked in the industry for over 4 years....I don't speak for everyone but, we like guys to be forthcoming/confident. I tell you right now, she's already made her decision whether or not she will date you. Going there spending time chatting with her will not change that. You get to know someone on dates, not hovering around them while they work. Edited April 20, 2019 by smackie9 2
preraph Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Yeah, hanging around waiting for encouragement is just going to make you look weak. Just ask her if she'd like to go to dinner sometime. She will either say yes or no, and if no, then at least you don't have to keep running into her. Can you just go ahead and ask her out direct message or something? 1
devilish innocent Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 The only way to know is to ask. What have you got to lose? 1
d0nnivain Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Of course you can ask but don't ask her when she has a bar full of people. She will not appreciate everybody knowing her business. Scheduling is the biggest problem with dating people in hospitality. They work during prime dating times -- nights & weekends. Once you do start dating her stop going to her bar. She has to flirt with people to get good tips. You don't need to be seeing that or you will want to punch all the customers. 2
Youngestdaughter Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 One of my biggest pet peeves is meeting a man from my past and him telling me he always wanted to ask me out back then but was too shy, didn't think I would be interested while I would have jumped at the chance. There was one in particular I told, "I could have used this information at the time." Of course you can ask her out. And there's a couple ways of doing it without losing face in case of rejection. A) Find a common interest. Tell her you're doing it that weekend, and ask her if she would like to join you. B) You can actually ask her if she has a boyfriend. We girls don't understand why a yes to that question embarrasses y'all. Even if you ask her if out and she says she has a boyfriend, this is no cause to be mortified. There's no way you could have known. We are not choosing him over you. We met him first. But if she has and says she doesn't, working for tips doesn't justify that. She has no character. Find another bar. I was a waitress through college when I really needed the money. And I can tell you, there's tip flirting and flirting flirting. Tossing her hair laughing at your jokes, even sexy looks is tip flirting. Any kind of physical contact like touching your arm or serious eye contact like soulful staring for longer than a couple seconds and any comment that she has no life outside her job is an invitation. If you're that shy and you have a business card, wrap your next tip around it and write on the back to call you if she's interested. But consider this. What if it turns into more? Would you be comfortable dating a hot girl who flirts for a living? Good luck! I m rooting for you;
alphamale Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 this chick is just being nice to you cause that's her job and she works for tips
smackie9 Posted April 21, 2019 Posted April 21, 2019 stay away from women who work at bars and restaurants. They get hit on 800,000 times a day. You're not going to outshine the other 800,000 men who hit on her That's not always true. I worked in a club and yes got hit on but the person (customer) I chose to be with ended up being my husband.
Author ericw899 Posted April 21, 2019 Author Posted April 21, 2019 One of my biggest pet peeves is meeting a man from my past and him telling me he always wanted to ask me out back then but was too shy, didn't think I would be interested while I would have jumped at the chance you; I understand this sentiment but in my defense I’ve never talked to her before & I couldn’t know until last night that I was interested until I actually sat down & talked to her. Sure I thought she was pretty at the gym but I never even would’ve thought of her as a romantic partner
Author ericw899 Posted April 21, 2019 Author Posted April 21, 2019 That's not always true. I worked in a club and yes got hit on but the person (customer) I chose to be with ended up being my husband. That’s why I’m not looking at this as a lost cause. Yes, she flirts with hundreds of men but quite frankly I’m different from most men & im hoping that will allow me to stand out. Sure there are plenty of guys who walk in who claim to be the loudest, strongest, funniest etc & after a while they all seem to be the same typical bar bro. But if I be myself which is more quiet & reserved, but also genuine & sincere, maybe that will stand out more. I mean yeah she may not even dream of a guy like me but I prefer a 1/5 shot at being myself than trying to compete with hundreds of other mearheads trying to impress her
smackie9 Posted April 22, 2019 Posted April 22, 2019 I never said to be a loud meathead...I told you to be confident and ask her out instead of being an orbiter.
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