Foxhall Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Hi, I am interested on thoughts on this, more directed at the guys actually, but girls feel free to comment also. If you were dating a girl and she made it clear from the outset that you would not be exclusive, i.e that she wanted a couple of sexual playmates on the side, well would you be ok with this? A lady I work with, we are not together or anything, but we do get on well and enjoy the bit of banter and so on. Anyway she put this question to me the other day, hypothetically,strangely enough I think I might actually be ok with the playmates scenario but now I am probably easier going than most, what do you think, would this be an absolute No for you or would you have an open mind!?
basil67 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 It's not about what we would do. The important question is how you feel about it. 1
Els Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Nope, I don't do open relationships. If you're okay with them though, why not? 1
elaine567 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Sounds like she wants to add you to her stable of FWBs. Is that what you want or do you want a gf? 2
ExpatInItaly Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 It's not about what we would do. The important question is how you feel about it. I was about to write the same thing. What do you think about it, OP?
BaileyB Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 If you were dating a girl and she made it clear from the outset that you would not be exclusive, i.e that she wanted a couple of sexual playmates on the side, well would you be ok with this? It would be a NO for me. I have an open mind, but not open enough that I want to share my partner with other people and expose myself to STDs. No way, no how. 1
chillii Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Your kidding right. Couldn't put my response here or l'd have to find another forum.
kendahke Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 If you were dating a girl and she made it clear from the outset that you would not be exclusive, i.e that she wanted a couple of sexual playmates on the side, well would you be ok with this? Sure--it's just dating. I don't owe her anything if we're just dating. We're not in a relationship, not committed to one another and we aren't going to be committed to one another if this is how she wants to roll. I'll keep on dating others til I find someone who doesn't need to be an AW.
preraph Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Think about it. You work with her. Her next "playmate" could be your boss or something awkward. Not at work.
Author Foxhall Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 Ok, thanks for the comments, well this type of thing would be off the wall for me really, I would be seen as a fairly reserved type and in reality I am looking for a serious partner/long term companion. this lady is the opposite personality type to me, a lot more extroverted and out there shall we say, it may be just a case of opposites attracting as curiously we do spark well when chatting and so on, and well she is ten years younger and good company! but no the more I think of it, I do not see her as a serious long term partner prospect or anything.
Author Foxhall Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 Lol, I am probably giving the wrong impression now to the person I like on this forum! don't worry, I am not into multiple partners or anything, was just amused by the question and curious what was the general consensus!
TheFinalWord Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 If your goal is to find a monogamous, LTR, you have to ask yourself how is this action going to help you achieve your goal. Will it bring you closer or further away from your goal? 2
Ronni_W Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 hypothetically,strangely enough I think I might actually be ok with the playmates scenario but now I am probably easier going than most, As others have said, this is a situation that calls for you to make up your own mind and live by your own, self-defined terms and standards of living. If it is something that you want to actually find out how you would actually feel and react or respond to such a situation if it played out in your actual, real life, then this is probably a very good or even ideal opportunity for you to find that out...as long as you can be quite sure within yourself that you are not going to get all emotionally invested or feel all rejected and abandoned when she moves on to her next set of 'playmates'.
Highndry Posted April 21, 2019 Posted April 21, 2019 Nope. That's simply a hit-it-and-quit-it scenario, at best. Personally, I wouldn't even hit it.
Author Foxhall Posted April 21, 2019 Author Posted April 21, 2019 thank you, I appreciate the comments well I am attracted to the lady, she is a different nationality and I enjoy her personality, but in fairness there is not a hope that she would ever commit to me long term, so no it is not a runner, my comment about being easy going, well that is true but perhaps that lends itself to being exploited by people so I need to be careful with that anyway Happy Easter Sunday!!
40somethingGuy Posted April 24, 2019 Posted April 24, 2019 Hi, I am interested on thoughts on this, more directed at the guys actually, but girls feel free to comment also. If you were dating a girl and she made it clear from the outset that you would not be exclusive, i.e that she wanted a couple of sexual playmates on the side, well would you be ok with this? A lady I work with, we are not together or anything, but we do get on well and enjoy the bit of banter and so on. Anyway she put this question to me the other day, hypothetically,strangely enough I think I might actually be ok with the playmates scenario but now I am probably easier going than most, what do you think, would this be an absolute No for you or would you have an open mind!? If you're cool with getting STD's why not?
Author Foxhall Posted April 25, 2019 Author Posted April 25, 2019 ah wel, you would not wish that on me!! Against my better judgment maybe, I decided on the spur of the moment to pose this question to my class of learners today (all mature students!) the reaction was also strongly centred on the STD issue, ( after the initial shock that I would ask such a question) saying the wrong thing at the wrong time ( that perhaps could be the subject of a new thread) it turned out to be probably our most engaging class all year however.
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