shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 I sat next to a cute girl at a bar recently. And we sat and talked over loud music for like 4 hours, then proceeded to go out for a meal. It was like a 6 hour date. She had to wait for her cousin to get off work so I was her only company. Anyways, I'm 35 and she's 25. She told me about her past long-term relationship. And asked me if I ever had a girlfriend? I was honest, I said "One". Sounded like she suspected that was going to be my answer. I guess I was sometimes a bit of a bore that night. But she made an effort to connect and keep the conversation going. The whole thing feels so easy... This is new to me... Ladies? Any thoughts? Cause I'm slightly dumbfounded by all this...
Simple Logic Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 4 hours in a bar; Were you buying drinks the whole time?
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 Nope - she had like 5 drinks and she paid for them. I even had to insist to pay for her bottled water towards the end.
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 (edited) The ease of that 6 hours... anyways I'm a bit worried now that things would cool off between me and her. Got a week till she "probably" come back to town. Edited April 20, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote
Happy Lemming Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Welcome to meeting women in real life... I've been doing it for 30+ years... It's a lot more fun then swiping a screen or tapping on a keyboard and wondering how old those photos are (or how much photo-shopping was done) to them before being posted on that On Line Dating site. Best of Luck... 2
Marc878 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 You'll never know unless you aske her out again 1
TheFinalWord Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Nice job! You were at the right place at the right time. If you had some game, you could have escalated things. If a girl finds you at least her threshold level of attraction, and you spend enough time with her, her attraction will grow. Heck, it happens for men too. I've met women that I was kind of "meh" about, but then we spent time together doing things and the attraction increased. If a girl asks you that, just say "I never kiss and tell." Usually its not good to reveal those kinds of details, but overall I agree with the other poster. You can have much better luck in real life than online. Online, that same girl probably would have rejected you because of the age difference. Unless you look significantly older than her, meeting in real life it would likely not have even come up. 1
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 (edited) Right place, right time.... that’s exactly it. I think you’re right, I should have tried to escalate things - what do you suggest I do now though? Is there anything I can do to seal the deal? She did say she may be back in town next week - maybe... apparently her University & apprenticeship schedule can be unpredictable. Who knows.... Edited April 20, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote
d0nnivain Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 5 drinks is a lot of alcohol. But since things seemed to go well, reach out & set something up for when she's back in town. This isn't rocket science. She likes you.
Gretchen12 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 For a lot of people, meeting new people is normal. In the city on some weekends I meet 3 or 4 new guys in public. You should get used to it. But not every chance encounter leads to something. That is the understanding. There are no expectations for more, even with numbers exchanged. And it's fine because you keep meeting more people. This girl may have just wanted company. But there are many other girls to meet. It's a start! 2
BaileyB Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Ladies? Any thoughts? Cause I'm slightly dumbfounded by all this... Did you get her number?
smackie9 Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 For a lot of people, meeting new people is normal. In the city on some weekends I meet 3 or 4 new guys in public. You should get used to it. But not every chance encounter leads to something. That is the understanding. There are no expectations for more, even with numbers exchanged. And it's fine because you keep meeting more people. This girl may have just wanted company. But there are many other girls to meet. It's a start! This^^^it's a good start, but don't just commit to this one girl. There will be plenty more girls out there you will meet. Spread it around a little bit.
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 Did you get her number? Yea I got her number
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 This^^^it's a good start, but don't just commit to this one girl. There will be plenty more girls out there you will meet. Spread it around a little bit. Thanks... you’d know better than me obviously but I think that’s a good idea
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 5 drinks is a lot of alcohol. But since things seemed to go well, reach out & set something up for when she's back in town. This isn't rocket science. She likes you. Yea I thought 5 drinks was a lot too... I hope that’s not because I was a bore! But seriously when you told me that she “likes me”.... that put a smile on my face. Thanks 1
kendahke Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 The ease of that 6 hours... anyways I'm a bit worried now that things would cool off between me and her. Got a week till she "probably" come back to town. of course they're going to cool down--she's got a life somewhere else that she's living and that takes up her attention. You're some random older dude she talked to in a bar to kill time while she waited on her cousin. Call her and make a date with a time and place already--quit wasting time waffling about. She didnt give you her number for you to examine it ad nauseum while you stress out about things cooling down. That's how disinterest sets in--you aren't being decisive and that's boring. 1
snowcones Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Sounds like a great start. You're probably just feeling anxiety due to not knowing what the future holds between you two. This is normal. If I were you, I wouldn't be typical guy and text her "Hey, how's your day?" everyday until you see her again. That is such a bore and inspires no good feeling except annoyance. Text her closer to her return date and then ask her if you can call her one night (be specific). When you call her have something interesting to talk about and don't make her do all the work, then ask to see her. 2
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 20, 2019 Author Posted April 20, 2019 Sounds like a great start. You're probably just feeling anxiety due to not knowing what the future holds between you two. This is normal. If I were you, I wouldn't be typical guy and text her "Hey, how's your day?" everyday until you see her again. That is such a bore and inspires no good feeling except annoyance. Text her closer to her return date and then ask her if you can call her one night (be specific). When you call her have something interesting to talk about and don't make her do all the work, then ask to see her. Great suggestion bro.... I’ll definitely follow on your advice here. We’ll see how it goes but I feel I owe you already
preraph Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 I agree with ^. Don't start habitual texting her. She's busy and you're really both more mature than to do that, I think. Just wait until time she should know if she's coming in town or not and ask when she thinks she may be coming "because I want to see you when you do."
snowcones Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Great suggestion bro.... I’ll definitely follow on your advice here. We’ll see how it goes but I feel I owe you already No problem, bro.
Versacehottie Posted April 20, 2019 Posted April 20, 2019 Why are you taking a positive situation/great start and only seeing the "bad" it could be? 6 hours is a long time. I don't think it was entirely due to her having nothing else to do--must be in part because she enjoyed spending time with you, found you attractive. Take that and run with it. Operate with a confident mindset, anything else is fear/failure mindset and will only serve to push the outcome in that direction. Whereas if there is a chance, operating with a confident one is your best way to create the outcome you want, a positive one or the power of the choice being yours. I agree that don't be boring over text. Texts that are generic do nothing toward creating a special bond. Any guy can send her one of those. You want to have personality or build on things you have already discussed, humor is always good. Flirting is good. Personally i don't think you should text too much, you want to seem like you have your own stuff going on and true connections are best made in person. You don't want to have such great texting or even decent but then in person it's a letdown, which happens. Good luck
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 25, 2019 Author Posted April 25, 2019 Why are you taking a positive situation/great start and only seeing the "bad" it could be? 6 hours is a long time. I don't think it was entirely due to her having nothing else to do--must be in part because she enjoyed spending time with you, found you attractive. Take that and run with it. Operate with a confident mindset, anything else is fear/failure mindset and will only serve to push the outcome in that direction. Whereas if there is a chance, operating with a confident one is your best way to create the outcome you want, a positive one or the power of the choice being yours. I agree that don't be boring over text. Texts that are generic do nothing toward creating a special bond. Any guy can send her one of those. You want to have personality or build on things you have already discussed, humor is always good. Flirting is good. Personally i don't think you should text too much, you want to seem like you have your own stuff going on and true connections are best made in person. You don't want to have such great texting or even decent but then in person it's a letdown, which happens. Good luck OK guys - ladies and gents, I OFFICIALLY - got PLAYED... **** it's rough out there... BUT YEAH - I GOT PLAYED .... She's not into me... never was... WAS JUST INTO MESSING WITH MY HEAD. She told me she was a Med. student... Now I doubt that cause, I remember telling her why after my denggi fever I cannot hold my drink anymore and she didn't get it... I said jokingly that she should know - she's a graduate med student. Didn't think much of it then. MAN I'M DUMB... Sometimes...
Gretchen12 Posted April 25, 2019 Posted April 25, 2019 Read my post again. I tried to tell you to not have expectations. You wanted to "seal the deal". I was trying to tell you to meet more women. Many such encounters don't have any future at all, never did. In her mind you were someone she'll never see again that's why she felt she could just lie about who she is. I'll share with you a funny line from a movie I was watching last night (hot babe was Rita Hayworth). The guy says "Studies have shown there are more women than anything else in the world... except insects." Don't take it hard. Meet more women and just enjoy her company in the moment. Not telling you to be a player but to understand chance encounters as what they are.
Author shizzle_84 Posted April 30, 2019 Author Posted April 30, 2019 Read my post again. I tried to tell you to not have expectations. You wanted to "seal the deal". I was trying to tell you to meet more women. Many such encounters don't have any future at all, never did. In her mind you were someone she'll never see again that's why she felt she could just lie about who she is. I'll share with you a funny line from a movie I was watching last night (hot babe was Rita Hayworth). The guy says "Studies have shown there are more women than anything else in the world... except insects." Don't take it hard. Meet more women and just enjoy her company in the moment. Not telling you to be a player but to understand chance encounters as what they are. I have to say by the way - I obviously enjoyed her company... but with the "lies" (?) or "misleading" way she could have (I don't know the truth) conveyed about herself and her life to me - I'm still thinking - would it be okay fi I restarted a conversation with her - and perhaps remain friends instead? Now that feelings have cooled I feel more free... to relate to her
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