Went speed dating and got a match, now what do I do?

[YoungManK]

Hi everyone,

 

So today I wanted to gain some advice on moving the conversation from online to texting/WhatsApp.

 

Due to a busy life of mainly work and a few good mates, sometimes I struggle to put myself into situations to meet new women. So to combat this I went speed dating. Turns out via the companies website the next day, I got a match. Only one match but I'll take that.

 

Without blowing my trumpet, I'm an attractive looking guy, and I'm really good in person or once there's a flow in messaging, I just suck at the vital beginning messages haha.

 

Anyway, I messaged my match via the website and she replied back, a simple nice to meet you, and that I embarrassed myself by dropping my drink in front of her.

 

If this was a dating app then you would talk on there for a bit, but what do I do for this website match. There's no mobile notification so it's impossible to have any flow in conversation unless you have the time of day to check the site every hour.

 

Do I ask for her number/offer mine? Or just continue talking on there for a short while.

 

Also in general, how have you guys and girls asked for a matches number on say Tinder or another dating app?

 

A bit about me, I'm 26, can get slightly anxious at times but can control it 99% of the time. Busy work schedule, close circle of friends.

 

Yeah, any advice would be appreciated!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I'd give her your phone number and invite her to text or call you if she'd like to take the conversation to an easier platform.

[clia]

I never liked it when a guy just threw his phone number at me and told me to call him.

 

I think you should start out trying to set up a date on the website and see how she responds. She may want to chat a little more on the web site before moving off the site. If her response is positive, you can suggest moving the conversation off the web site and offer your phone number to her. But be sure to say that if she prefers, you can also call or text her if she gives you her number, so you leave that option to her.

[preraph]

I'd say, "Shall we exchange phone numbers? Mine is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Hope we can get together soon." Then she can give you hers or if she's too paranoid, which I doubt, she can just call you.

[nospam99]

Speed dating?? Speed dating here (NE USA) equals you've already met the other person and several others during a speed dating 'event' in a bar or restaurant, they have ALREADY COMMITTED to wanting to meet you, AND you have contact information - in the case of the speed dating system where I live, an email address.

 

Next step is similar to what several other posters have already suggested: send an email confirming YOU want to meet and include your phone #.

[Lotsgoingon]

Set up a date ... coffee ... bar ... walk ... preferably some place low budget ... so you guys don't commit to hours with each other before you get to know each other more.

 

No different than any other first date.

[guest569]

Wow you sound over the moon about this woman. So, what do you want to know about her? Make some chit chat and then ask her out. Forget phone numbers

[YoungManK]

So yeah I got her number and another girls number as well so not doing too bad so far haha!

 

I've been messaging the girl from the speed dating site and another off Hinge both for the last 24 odd hours, both seem lovely and I'm learning a bit about their interests.

 

In the past I've waited a while before asking for a date, and I'm not sure but think I wait too long.

 

How long have you guys waited before setting up a date/been asked on a date?

[YoungManK]

Wow you sound over the moon about this woman. So, what do you want to know about her? Make some chit chat and then ask her out. Forget phone numbers

 

Haha sorry, just seen this!

[nospam99]

speed dating site

 

WTF? In my part of the USA 'speed dating' and 'site' are almost mutually exclusive. 'Almost' because one way to register for the speed dating events is through a (web) site. But there are no women on the sites, just a schedule. Speed dating where I live is a face-to-face social party where each participant gets to chat with each participant of the other sex for a fixed amount of time, six minutes here. To help my confusion, how does the speed dating you're doing work? What has a 'site' got anything to do with it?

 

After I posted the above paragraph, I went looking for 'reference information' on speed dating. Found https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_dating And as I was skimming the wikipedia article I also saw 'The same study found that a man's height had a significant impact upon his desirability, with a reduction in height causing a decrease in desirability at the rate of 5% per inch.' Throwing that in because it's just one more (allegedly) researched assertion about male height in support of MY opinion (height matters) in what has been an ongoing disagreement here on LS.

Edited April 21, 2019 by nospam99

[YoungManK]

WTF? In my part of the USA 'speed dating' and 'site' are almost mutually exclusive. 'Almost' because one way to register for the speed dating events is through a (web) site. But there are no women on the sites, just a schedule. Speed dating where I live is a face-to-face social party where each participant gets to chat with each participant of the other sex for a fixed amount of time, six minutes here. To help my confusion, how does the speed dating you're doing work? What has a 'site' got anything to do with it?

 

After I posted the above paragraph, I went looking for 'reference information' on speed dating. Found https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_dating And as I was skimming the wikipedia article I also saw 'The same study found that a man's height had a significant impact upon his desirability, with a reduction in height causing a decrease in desirability at the rate of 5% per inch.' Throwing that in because it's just one more (allegedly) researched assertion about male height in support of MY opinion (height matters) in what has been an ongoing disagreement here on LS.

 

Hi, I think I didn't do a good job explaining.

 

So yeah there was a speed dating event where you meet different women. Each person that attended has a ID number. When the event is over you go to the website of the company that hosted the event (you had to create a profile in order to book a slot for the event), log in, and next to each person/ID number, you put a yes, no, or just a friend. Then if you matched someone on a friend or yes level, you are able to contact their profile through the website.

 

Unfortunately I had an early shift the next day so as soon as it finished I had to head off so didn't have time to mingle and maybe get a number or too.

[nospam99]

@youngmank

Got it, thanks! The speed dating I've done, you fill out a paper form after the event, Yesing or Noing the people you've met (LOL - swipe right, swipe left). Next day the organizer sends an email with the email addresses of the people you Yesed who Yesed you back.

[guest569]

Hi, I think I didn't do a good job explaining.

 

I think it should have been pretty self evident, but apparently it wasn't

[preraph]

You should ask her out immediately. I mean, this is a speed dating site. Don't drag your feet. You had some nice conversation. This is not a marriage proposal. It's only a date. You should ask her and the other one out. It's only a date . There is no commitment to like each other for longer than a date.

[YoungManK]

So I have a date planned this week with the woman off the dating app. Good bit of texting conversation through the out the day but nothing too much.

 

With the woman from the speed dating event and site, we are making plans for a date as well. She seems to only message me after work much dunno is a good thing or not... Maybe I'm so valued in her eyes that she wants to save messaging me til after she has finished work haha (is that a good thing?)