CATCH 22 Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 My live in girlfriend of three years recently moved out and broke up with me without warning, so I thought. After the breakup I called her frequently and tried to figure out what happened. Anytime I would bring up my feelings and plea for her to come back, she would clam up and not say a thing. In the last couple of days we went on a trip together. I was hoping that this would be the oppourtunity for us to get back together. During the trip she finally told me that I was not there for her emotionally and didnt make her feel that I wanted her. She was able to cite examples of trying to let me know this during our relationship. For whatever reason, I didnt see, hear, or know that she was communicating her concerns to me at the time until after the breakup. I told her that the best thing she ever did was leave me so that I could discover my true feeling for her. I further expressed my willingness to change and even for the 3 weeks after the breakup showed her that I could be the man she wanted. Before I quess I didnt know the rules to our relationship. While together, my view was that we were totally causual but commited to each other. That causal attitude made fail to do the "lovy, dubby" things require to keep her around. I am certainly capable and willing to do these things and especially with her. When I asked her for a chance to prove to her and take me back, she stated she was worried that this was a phase and I would go back to my old ways. I advised her that "we" could not let that happen and this was the way I wanted to treat her. She further advised me that she needed time to figure things out and to think if she wanted to risk putting her emotions back on the line. She also advised that she gave me multiple chances during the relationship. I realize my "screwup" of not seeing/hearing what she was saying. How did this happen. Was she not saying, doing it in a way that I could see or understand it. How can I prevent this in the future How do I give her the space she needs, but still prove to her that the new me is how I want to be and treat her. I still want to call her and see her. She says she still cares about me. I love her so much and want us to be together. I am afraid that if I give her too much space she will forget about us and the changes and effort I have made
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