How long does it take for a guy to ask a girl out after meeting her?

[Oceansfun]

I met this guy at a meetup event this past weekend, I thought he was cute. We danced for a bit at 1 bar, then the host had another happy hour at a different bar, I didn’t know where everyone was, so I headed there and he saw him standing there and nodded to me to their direction, he gave me a half hug to introduce me to the rest of the group. Then we headed off to a karaoke place, it was just the 4 of us, we sat close to the point of our legs brushing next to each other, the others all sang I didn’t because I don’t like to sing in front of people, he wanted me to go on stage to sing and suggesting we both sing, anyway we all left and headed to another pub, Where we sat and talked. At the end of the night he said, nice meeting you.

 

What are the chances of there being a romantic connection? Like in my mind I hope things progress slow and we keep seeing each other at events and form a friendship over time then romance starts. Then again, if he was interested in me he would have already asked for my number and asked me out. How does it work?

[smackie9]

If he was interested yes he would have asked for your number. And if he had any confidence he would have tried to separate you from the group and have one on one time with you....that's how it works. Since he did none of those, I doubt he's all that interested.

[Oceansfun]

What about the whole friendship that progresses into something more? Doesn’t that ever happen?

 

I don’t know.. my plan is to going to whatever event there is in the future only if he goes and see how he acts towards me. If I only get the “just meetup friends vibe” I’m going to move on.

[smackie9]

What is your normal success rate?

[Oceansfun]

Also, since meetup is like a regular meeting and more than likely you’ll see the same over and over again that’s where I get the idea, you know, I’m comparing to seeing someone at a gym on a regular basis where most likely you’ll run into him and start convos, etc.

[basil67]

A friendship which progresses into something more can happen, but I wouldn't put any expectations on it happening.

[smackie9]

Also, since meetup is like a regular meeting and more than likely you’ll see the same over and over again that’s where I get the idea, you know, I’m comparing to seeing someone at a gym on a regular basis where most likely you’ll run into him and start convos, etc.

The gym, is where you work out and maybe strike up a convo. Meetups are filled with expectations of finding someone to date. BIG difference.

[Oceansfun]

Sometimes I think to myself well, maybe he’s a gentlemen and doesn’t see me as a piece of ass. A few months ago I was at a club and this random guy approached me, he immediately asked me for my number and asked me out on a date. We ended up hooking up the 2nd time around, which I regret.

 

Hmm. Maybe you’re right, I mean if he was interested, he would have asked if I was going to the next event which was the day after or at least direct messaged me on meetup. If there’s another event and I see that he’s going, I’m going to dress more sexy and see if that catches his eye

[hercules22]

If he was interested yes he would have asked for your number. And if he had any confidence he would have tried to separate you from the group and have one on one time with you....that's how it works. Since he did none of those, I doubt he's all that interested.

 

 

smackie on point here this is what i do when i go to nightclubs or bars and im interested in a girl i always try to make her come with me and be away from our group of friends then i always ask for the number at the end of the night

[Oceansfun]

smackie on point here this is what i do when i go to nightclubs or bars and im interested in a girl i always try to make her come with me and be away from our group of friends then i always ask for the number at the end of the night

 

True. Because at a bar/club that is one chance and that’s it, one time you will ever see that person again, so a guy grabs a girls number. However meetup is different, we are in the same groups and he regularly goes to events, meaning, I will mostly likely run into him again, so there’s more of a chance of him asking my number if goes that way. Like the regulars at the gym, or coffee shop. And I’m not in a singles meetup group, maybe most ppl are single but the majority of them just want to meet new ppl.

 

I did have some alone time with him when we were both standing in the dance floor and he grabbed me to dance. We did the usually small talk. Like what is he suppose to do? Pull me away in a secluded corner and whisper sweet nothings to me???

Edited April 12, 2019 by Oceansfun

[d0nnivain]

What about the whole friendship that progresses into something more? Doesn’t that ever happen?

 

The younger you are, the more that happens. Kids need time to get to know the other person. Adults understand that the dates are the events where you get to know somebody. In my experience friendship that progresses to romance doesn't happen after college; once you are an adult if you are friends 1st, you stay friends & never cross the line except maybe to FWB, which rarely leads to a lasting relationship because the requisite respect element is missing.

 

I think this guy thought you were the most interesting person in the room that night but not interesting enough to date. If he was confident enough to dance with you & half hug you, he has enough confidence to ask for your number so I doubt he's shy. The fact that he moved on to a new location & you caught up because you knew where the group was going to be tells me that he didn't care enough to make sure you came along. Once you got there he was polite but that's a far cry from being interested.

 

He may also like the meetup & have "rules" against hooking up with people from the group because then things get awkward.

 

Your plan to dress sexier at the next event in the hopes of catching his eye may backfire & come across as you trying too hard.

 

If you want this to progress, you can take the initiate & DM him. Otherwise assume it was that night only.

[Mrs._December]

At the end of the night he said, nice meeting you.

UGH.

 

The kiss of death.

 

You just went bar-hopping with him and his buddies is all. Nothing more, nothing less. You're a girl and he likes to dance - therefore, that's why he'd grab you to dance when he felt like dancing.

[alphamale]

How does it work?

 

if you find out please let me know

[smackie9]

True. Because at a bar/club that is one chance and that’s it, one time you will ever see that person again, so a guy grabs a girls number. However meetup is different, we are in the same groups and he regularly goes to events, meaning, I will mostly likely run into him again, so there’s more of a chance of him asking my number if goes that way. Like the regulars at the gym, or coffee shop. And I’m not in a singles meetup group, maybe most ppl are single but the majority of them just want to meet new ppl.

 

I did have some alone time with him when we were both standing in the dance floor and he grabbed me to dance. We did the usually small talk. Like what is he suppose to do? Pull me away in a secluded corner and whisper sweet nothings to me???

I get it, you don't like what you are hearing, BUT I have had a lot of experience with this sort of stuff. I know when a guy is interested and I tell you this, they make it pretty damn obvious. My girlies would say, omg he wants you bad! His focus will be on you, strong eye contact, and will only talk to you to keep your attention. AND he wouldn't let you get away without getting your number. I don't know of any guy that wants to start out as friends, that's what some girls like to do. Remember guys brains are way different from ours. They don't think they way we do.

[Nnam]

I met this guy at a meetup event this past weekend, I thought he was cute. We danced for a bit at 1 bar, then the host had another happy hour at a different bar, I didn’t know where everyone was, so I headed there and he saw him standing there and nodded to me to their direction, he gave me a half hug to introduce me to the rest of the group. Then we headed off to a karaoke place, it was just the 4 of us, we sat close to the point of our legs brushing next to each other, the others all sang I didn’t because I don’t like to sing in front of people, he wanted me to go on stage to sing and suggesting we both sing, anyway we all left and headed to another pub, Where we sat and talked. At the end of the night he said, nice meeting you.

 

What are the chances of there being a romantic connection? Like in my mind I hope things progress slow and we keep seeing each other at events and form a friendship over time then romance starts. Then again, if he was interested in me he would have already asked for my number and asked me out. How does it work?

 

 

Well this situation is pretty tricky, in most cases like this something profound takes a while to form, and then again this could just be a good meet, I'd suggest you keep your options open but not limited to him. There's really no rule to when a guy can ask a girl out.

[Oceansfun]

A few years ago, I would always go to the same grocery store near my house. There was this produce guy that whenever I would walk by, he would say “hello” how are you. This happened several times when ever I would go, I didn’t think anything of if I assume it was part of his job to be friendly to customers. One day he started talking to my mom and was asking about me, he told her that he liked me and that he thinks that I liked him too and like wanted me to go out with me. He didn’t ask for my number the first time he saw me there it just took some time for him to I don’t know make his move . I guess that’s where that idea comes in..running into someone frequently and then the guy pursues

[alphamale]

if I meet a new woman that really appeals to me I will ask her within 15 minutes, but this is only for someone who I really really am attracted to.

[Curiousroxy86]

I've seen both. At work guys didn't ask me out right away. Which is understandable. Some things you want to time it right and don't want to risk your job. Other times outside of work it's within first meeting.

 

I believe that if a guy likes you enough and wants to get to know you a little more he will ask you out/ask for your number.

 

I don't think all guys are instaneous. But I also don't think you should focus on maybe. He may not be interested. He may find you attractive but has a girl. He may ask you out down the road. He may ask some other girl he crushing on. So don't worry about him. Look good, keep going out and having fun, and focus on the guys who do pursue and don't obsess over guessing games. This guy can become relevant if he asks you out. Until then all what he has done so far does not matter.

[preraph]

I agree with the poster who said meetups are specifically for meeting people in hopes for more of a relationship, so you'd expect that to happen quickly. My take on it is he may have his eye on someone else who is also at the meetup or who he hoped might show up at the meetup and is holding out to first take a shot with her. He sounds friendly and socially ept, so there's nothing stopping him from asking anyone out except his own choice in the matter. So watch who he's also paying attention to. She may not have been at the ones you're at yet though. He knows he can't very well play with different people there, so if he's more attracted to someone else, he may be waiting a bit to see what happens there.

[dispatch3d]

There's lots of girls I've met, had a strong interest in, and not asked out. I don't think the two are so closely correlated as others are making it out to be.

 

I face tons of rejection, lots of times if I barely know the girl I'd rather just not put myself out there.

[Oceansfun]

I agree with the poster who said meetups are specifically for meeting people in hopes for more of a relationship, so you'd expect that to happen quickly. My take on it is he may have his eye on someone else who is also at the meetup or who he hoped might show up at the meetup and is holding out to first take a shot with her. He sounds friendly and socially ept, so there's nothing stopping him from asking anyone out except his own choice in the matter. So watch who he's also paying attention to. She may not have been at the ones you're at yet though. He knows he can't very well play with different people there, so if he's more attracted to someone else, he may be waiting a bit to see what happens there.

 

Well, that’s why I should dress more sexy next time to catch his eye and take a step further if he wants to. That’s what’s gonna catch a mans attention.

[smackie9]

What actually catches a man's attention besides good looks is confidence. Having the confidence to be in his space, strong eye contact, a lot of smiles, to keep the conversation going, light touching, teasing. Like the other poster stated, sure he's seen a lot of attractive girls and never bothered to make a move...but if you interacted with him in such a manner he would. One thing I have learned, you get more or what you want if you go and get it yerself.