Author toomanyquestions123 Posted April 12, 2019 Author Posted April 12, 2019 A guy who move too quick MIGHT be a red flag But a guy who doesn't respect your boundaries is a NO SIR Anytime a guy get all speedy Gonzales on you and your not comfortable don't be afraid to say "sounds great hun but I would like to get to know you on a simple date first and then if things progress well I would love to get away with you *kissy face*". If he gives push back and keep up with criticisms about you being "slow" and having "rules" to the point he doesn't agree to your boundary then cut this punk loose. Guys that's genuinely like you and is not bat sh*t crazy will respect your sensible boundary to slow it down a bit. Guy who push back your boundaries and try to rush intimacy and are so selfish that they don't care about making you feel comfortable are usually not capable of long term. They tend to love bomb then either disappear or reveal something so off that you have to cut them loose anyway. I 100% agree with this. I am cutting this guy loose, i don't feel comfortable at all talking to him anymore. Yesterday, he was like you are so not romantic and mean, is that you in real life because it is a huge turn off for me. I was like no i am not but i am not supposed to be romantic with someone i didnt meet yet, it's either you ****in slow down or i am out of here. He was like okay. If, he came to my city soon, i might see him once, but i doubt i will like him back, i just have this feeling i will not. Although he is a really handsome man and very successful at work, but god knows how much personalities matter to me. I'm tired of this bull**** ! 2
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted April 16, 2019 Author Posted April 16, 2019 After 2 weeks of trying to convince myself that he is normal, i realized he is not normal for me. I caught him lying many times; He told me he lived 6 years in London but i dont think this was sincere. His age on Bumble was 3 years older. He has a very high self-esteem and thinks i will fall madly in love. He is planning for a vacation already with him. He has a temper and he tried to sext with me once and when i changed the subject he accused me of being cranky and spreading negative vibes. So, since we have been talking a lot during those 2 weeks, should i just ghost him or tell him that this is not gonna work out and dont come to visit me at the end of April ?
bathtub-row Posted April 16, 2019 Posted April 16, 2019 Just tell him the latter of what you wrote - this isn’t working for me, cancel your visit, I wish you well. However he responds, don’t answer him. Just block him.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted April 17, 2019 Author Posted April 17, 2019 I tried yesterday. He said he really likes me and he is not giving up on me and he is coming soon and to please see him ?
Iris The Butterfly Posted April 17, 2019 Posted April 17, 2019 So, since we have been talking a lot during those 2 weeks, should i just ghost him or tell him that this is not gonna work out and dont come to visit me at the end of April ? You owe this person NOTHING. You've texted for a week or so if I've read this correctly. No, you don't need to tell him anything. You can if that makes you feel less guilty about 'ghosting'. You can say, "I'm not interested in meeting, I don't think this is a good fit. Best of luck." This is not a relationship. You're not breaking up with him. You don't owe a face to face, or an apology, or even an explanation at this point. If I were you I would block him and move on as if this never even happened. The time you waste writing about it and trying to explain to him why you don't want to meet is much better spent just putting this behind you. As soon as I read the age discrepancy on Bumble I knew this was a bad idea. Just cut him loose. 1
preraph Posted April 17, 2019 Posted April 17, 2019 Tell him, No, you are not. I don't want to, and block him. This guy could be coming to kidnap you into sex trafficking for all you know. Your instincts are firing off alarms and you must not give in to him. Those instincts have developed over the centuries as a survival technique. They are telling you to flee. Block him so he can't insist anymore. Block texting, phone, social media and stay off his.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted April 18, 2019 Posted April 18, 2019 Be extremely wary! I experienced this when dating and these guys fall into 2 categories: 1. Loves the thrill of the chase, you are a shiny new toy and everything is fun. After drawing you in, they distance themselves. As you get closer, they suddenly pull back and want nothing to do w/you. This can be kind of shocking and hurtful as you got drawn in. 2. They may have control issues. One guy really liked me. I was excited after being flaked on so many times. He was a total control freak and wanted me all to himself (24/7 texting, hours on the phone after spending 9+ hours w/him etc). So just be warned.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted April 18, 2019 Author Posted April 18, 2019 Oh god, yes my instinct is saying this guy has some sort of issues. I mean I am not sure if its normal for a guy to send me constantly videos of himself replying to my texts and showing me his Hollywood smile when there is no context that allows him to smile but it is obvious that he is smiling to show it to me. He did confess to me that he has high egoism and he doesn't want to lie about it... On the other hand, he is kind of sweet, like he talks on the morning, he doesn't leave me hanging, he checks on me when he is busy at work, he cant wait to see me, he is very hot and successful. But MY INSTINCT is just saying to run and don't look back. Not sure if those are insecurities or instinct. My instinct did not say to run back from the one I dated from October till December who turned to be a big douche bag... I don't know...
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