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Posted (edited)
from my own experience an ex will say things like this to keep you from permanently fading away. my current ex has been doing this to me. she often uses anger as an excuse to contact me. things that are complete non-sense.

 

That's why you block contact. It's easily done

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote edited
Posted

Of course it's OK to cancel. Why do you feel manipulated? You talked to a friend of hers. She talked to a friend of yours. And, since she said she just wanted to hang out as friends, it shouldn't be an issue... unless you still have feelings for her. I believe exes can be friends. But it takes time. You have to completely be over one another. How long have y'all been broken up? And there are rules: no late night phone calls, no hanging out alone, no hugging, no romantic activities like dinners at fancy restaurants. And you have to be comfortable talking about respective love interests. That's how you know you are truly over one another. Are you over her? I could be wrong but it doesn't sound like it. Also, she could be taking to your friend to make you jealous and the friend thing might be a ploy to get back together. Or she might really miss your company. I miss one of my exes. He was smart and funny and we had so much in common. But it was a mutually abusive relationship and so passionate, friendship was impossible. Sometimes you have to completely let go. Follow what your gut tells you. But, if you do cancel, do it right. Call-no texts or emails. Explain nicely that you miss her too. But you think it's too early to be friends.

Posted
Well I just found out she started talking to this guy around the time she found out I was talking to her friend. Her friend seemed like an interesting person so I got closer to her. Apparently they started dating as of today. I'm shocked and my heart definitely hurts. I guess she lied about not wanting to start a relationship. Perhaps she lied about a lot of things.

 

I keep trying to convince myself she only got into this relationship because I started talking to her friend. All I know is that she definitely told my ex about how I started hanging out with her because she has asked if I intended to date her friend.

 

Wish me luck as I try to get this out of my mind. It kinda hurts that she knew this guy for only like 2 weeks and went in a relationship with him

 

What's her current situation with that guy right now?

  • Author
Posted (edited)

I think my last quote was stated confusingly but to make it clear my ex has started a relationship with this guy now

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote removed
Posted

@cgo311055

 

Terrible.

 

But sadly, not surprising to me. I suspected it. I've had the misfortune of reading many stories and being through similar situations myself with exes who come walking back into a dumpee's life and turn their world upside down all over again.

 

The good news here is you two not working out is on HER. It's good because if you had done something to cause the end of the relationship, that regret and guilt would have haunted you. Guilt and regret hold you back. But here, you none. You will grieve much more smoothly and will have reasons not to ever talk to her again now.

 

Also, she had you once, she chose to leave you and when she reached out to you, you still replied even though you didn't have to. That was a second chance you gave her. But what did she do with it? She chose someone else.

 

Cut her off. She's done.

 

If I were you, I'd pull her off of all of your social media so you don't have to see her relationship updates. All that'll do is upset you and keep your mind fixed on her. Then delete her number (If it's too hard to delete it..then write it down somewhere and store it out of out of sight. Then delete the number off of your phone so you don't have to see it.)

 

I know it hurts and that's why you're going to need all of your energy to help you grieve through this and get you back to feeling like your awesome self again. You are obviously a good catch. That's how you attracted her. This means, you will attract others in the future. But to do that, you need to be healed and happy in spirit. And that's why I tell you to go no contact.

 

Stay strong. You can use LS and the Coping forums to help you work through the pain. Many have gone through what you're going through including myself and many of us know how to deal. You're not alone.

 

- Beach

Posted
from my own experience an ex will say things like this to keep you from permanently fading away. my current ex has been doing this to me. she often uses anger as an excuse to contact me. things that are complete non-sense.

 

i had a friend once who was just like me. commited , loyal, grounded. and his gf at the time walked all over him. she could be nice at times. but her expectations begain to reach an impossible to do level. where he could no keep up, so she would get angry, eventually she dumped him and he begged her not to leave. he never wanted to let go ever and for almost a year he put in even more effort than he already did. she knew what she was doing, taking advantage of him. anyways. we went to the bar and he started talking to the waitress. when he left to the washroom i put a word in for him. and told her a bit of his story. she ended up giving him her number. and now they are a couple. the moment he announced his relationship. his ex was there angry trying to break them up and telling him that she wants him back. he almost went back to her but realized that the new girl really liked him. so he rejected his ex. till this day she still tries to get back with him and still shows up at his house.

 

some women have it stuck in their mind that an ex should never move past them on the ladder ,its like they thing they own you, im sure youve herd of the toy on the shelf topic. thats what shes doing. they are raised like this

 

"they are raised like this"????

 

I'm a woman. I was definitely NOT raised like this.

 

This post is sexist.

 

Men stalk and harrass their exes and won't let them go. All the time.

Posted

Sorry, OP. That's really crappy. I would assume that saying she missed you and having 4 hour conversations going down memory lane was a surefire sign she was trying to warm you up to the idea of getting back together.

 

And dating a dude less than a few days after that?

 

Yuck.

 

Leave this kind of woman in the rear view mirror.

Posted (edited)
"they are raised like this"????

 

I'm a woman. I was definitely NOT raised like this.

 

This post is sexist.

 

Men stalk and harrass their exes and won't let them go. All the time.

 

@sandrawg

 

Hmm..I think you might want to reread what he wrote. Looks to me, destroyedlife was only referring to the women who did those crappy things when he mentioned "they are raised like this." He wasn't referring to all women.

Edited by Beachead
  • Author
Posted
Sorry, OP. That's really crappy. I would assume that saying she missed you and having 4 hour conversations going down memory lane was a surefire sign she was trying to warm you up to the idea of getting back together.

 

And dating a dude less than a few days after that?

 

Yuck.

 

Leave this kind of woman in the rear view mirror.

 

i thought so too. i guess some people are only genuine on the outside. False hope hurts so bad...

  • Author
Posted
@cgo311055

 

Terrible.

 

But sadly, not surprising to me. I suspected it. I've had the misfortune of reading many stories and being through similar situations myself with exes who come walking back into a dumpee's life and turn their world upside down all over again.

 

The good news here is you two not working out is on HER. It's good because if you had done something to cause the end of the relationship, that regret and guilt would have haunted you. Guilt and regret hold you back. But here, you none. You will grieve much more smoothly and will have reasons not to ever talk to her again now.

 

Also, she had you once, she chose to leave you and when she reached out to you, you still replied even though you didn't have to. That was a second chance you gave her. But what did she do with it? She chose someone else.

 

Cut her off. She's done.

 

If I were you, I'd pull her off of all of your social media so you don't have to see her relationship updates. All that'll do is upset you and keep your mind fixed on her. Then delete her number (If it's too hard to delete it..then write it down somewhere and store it out of out of sight. Then delete the number off of your phone so you don't have to see it.)

 

I know it hurts and that's why you're going to need all of your energy to help you grieve through this and get you back to feeling like your awesome self again. You are obviously a good catch. That's how you attracted her. This means, you will attract others in the future. But to do that, you need to be healed and happy in spirit. And that's why I tell you to go no contact.

 

Stay strong. You can use LS and the Coping forums to help you work through the pain. Many have gone through what you're going through including myself and many of us know how to deal. You're not alone.

 

- Beach

 

thanks man. i sincerely thought she meant everything she said but i guess now i know shes just full of it. It's gonna hurt for sure but ill be alright

Posted
"they are raised like this"????

 

I'm a woman. I was definitely NOT raised like this.

 

This post is sexist.

 

Men stalk and harrass their exes and won't let them go. All the time.

 

Nope, he was referring to a couple in particular you are just trying to make a feminist point. Doesn't wash

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