Is this a good approach to take before a first day?

[Thedubman]

I feel like since I started dating I have been investing way to much before the first date. I usually plan dates a week after initially meeting them, in regards to OLD. I’m tired of the constant FaceTime’s and texting before the first date, and its my fault for allowing it to happen. Not that every 1st date a go on does not result in a 2nd but I’m tired of bonding with these women before actually meeting them in person, then the end result is a mini heartbreak if it don’t work out. So now I’m only going to text the day we meet. One time in the middle of the week to let them know I’m thinking about them, then one more time to confirm date. Is this a good approach to take? Any advice? I know I may loose dates doing it this way but I’m tired of investing before the first date, and do not want to really start investing till we actually meet in person. Thanks!, would also like to here how you guys approach the first date. I feel like I’ve been doing it all wrong.

[Foxhall]

to be honest , what you describe would be my preferred approach, however that will not work, I find you need to put a bit of effort into it first to get a first date,and you have to go through that although I know it can get tiresome.

 

In fairness from the girl's perspective they feel more comfortable getting to know something about the guy first before agreeing to meet them,and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

so I think you have to put in the effort to chat online build up some kind of a connection before you actually meet.

 

I am gone off the online scene somewhat, I posted here previously about securing a lot of online first dates but then having little in common with them when actually meeting.

in the last year , two of the nicest ladies I met were purely by chance, on a train and a lady at a sports massage clinic,

 

and while neither may be "the one" I was pleased to meet people I had genuine connection with.

 

so maybe the online arena is not the easiest,and it can be more natural to meet by chance like I describe, but then again I know online can be the only option at times,

I did actually meet one very nice lady online but we are now on opposite sides of the globe!

 

I suppose not to get disheartened and keep throwing hat in the ring is important!

Edited April 5, 2019 by Foxhall

[Inspire]

Talking beforehand is a great way to break the ice and get to know a little bit about the person before you meet. How much time are you spending on the phone and texting?

[smackie9]

Be spontaneous ....like meeting up for a quick cup of coffee after a few text messages. Then there is very little invested, and IMO it's better to talk in person. If they don't then they lack confidence, or have too much anxiety, or they are already time wasters.

[Thedubman]

to be honest , what you describe would be my preferred approach, however that will not work, I find you need to put a bit of effort into it first to get a first date,and you have to go through that although I know it can get tiresome.

 

In fairness from the girl's perspective they feel more comfortable getting to know something about the guy first before agreeing to meet them,and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

so I think you have to put in the effort to chat online build up some kind of a connection before you actually meet.

 

I am gone off the online scene somewhat, I posted here previously about securing a lot of online first dates but then having little in common with them when actually meeting.

in the last year , two of the nicest ladies I met were purely by chance, on a train and a lady at a sports massage clinic,

 

and while neither may be "the one" I was pleased to meet people I had genuine connection with.

 

so maybe the online arena is not the easiest,and it can be more natural to meet by chance like I describe, but then again I know online can be the only option at times,

I did actually meet one very nice lady online but we are now on opposite sides of the globe!

 

I suppose not to get disheartened and keep throwing hat in the ring is important!

 

I usually ask for a first date after 5 or 6 exchanges, you would be suprised how many girls say yes TBH. I guess what I’m asking, how much talking you should do after you have a date planned. I would think the less you talk the easier it is to have a quality first date because there’s so much to say

[Thedubman]

Be spontaneous ....like meeting up for a quick cup of coffee after a few text messages. Then there is very little invested, and IMO it's better to talk in person. If they don't then they lack confidence, or have too much anxiety, or they are already time wasters.

 

I always ask for a first date real quick, you would be surprised how many say yes. But sometimes the date will be a week away. And I’m not trying to be texting this women everyday

[Foxhall]

I usually ask for a first date after 5 or 6 exchanges, you would be suprised how many girls say yes TBH. I guess what I’m asking, how much talking you should do after you have a date planned. I would think the less you talk the easier it is to have a quality first date because there’s so much to say

 

 

yes that is a good point also,

 

 

if you spend too much time talking before hand, it can mean the well will run dry on the date,

 

 

avoiding the horrible silences on a date is key too!!

[smackie9]

I always ask for a first date real quick, you would be surprised how many say yes. But sometimes the date will be a week away. And I’m not trying to be texting this women everyday

Just tell them you will be in contact with them the day before to confirm time and place. Then leave it.

[Wallysbears]

I think it is a great idea not to text/talk/Facetime too much before the first date.

 

Confirm the date and then touch base before the date.

 

Otherwise, it just gets to be overkill IMO