BJP1991 Posted April 4, 2019 Posted April 4, 2019 27 y/o male here. Curious would everyone thinks is appropriate for texting between dates, early on. For example, if a guy meets a girl via a dating app, they go out for a few drinks on a first date. Couple days later, guy initiates texting with girl and they arrange a second date, 7 days in the future. How much texting should occur leading up to the second date? My perspective is that since definite plans are set, there’s no good reason to go texting all the time. I usually don’t initiate at all and then will send a nice text on the morning the date is scheduled for, saying something like “Hey, hope you have a productive day - see you tonight!” Thoughts? Opinions? Is my perspective lacking and causing women to be disinterested? Genuinely, I have better things to worry about in life than texting a brand new date interest every day (or every other day). Curious to hear what others who are in the 25-35 demographic have to say.
Lagoon1212 Posted April 4, 2019 Posted April 4, 2019 27 y/o male here. Curious would everyone thinks is appropriate for texting between dates, early on. For example, if a guy meets a girl via a dating app, they go out for a few drinks on a first date. Couple days later, guy initiates texting with girl and they arrange a second date, 7 days in the future. How much texting should occur leading up to the second date? My perspective is that since definite plans are set, there’s no good reason to go texting all the time. I usually don’t initiate at all and then will send a nice text on the morning the date is scheduled for, saying something like “Hey, hope you have a productive day - see you tonight!” Thoughts? Opinions? Is my perspective lacking and causing women to be disinterested? Genuinely, I have better things to worry about in life than texting a brand new date interest every day (or every other day). Curious to hear what others who are in the 25-35 demographic have to say. Try to find out what she thinks, if she is ok with it... that is great. I once was in a similar situation and I thought that the guy only wanted FWB. We did go out on dates but every date led to sex (after the third one anyway). I thought he was completely not interested, and broke it off with him few times. That being said, the fact that we didnt talk and text all the time was nice and refreshing because we had so much go talk about when on a date. Again, it might be only me, and even if I liked it... it left the impression that he was putting minimal effort and not really thinking about me in between dates.
Author BJP1991 Posted April 4, 2019 Author Posted April 4, 2019 Check in everyday. So needy - I don’t understand how people can do this. To each, their own, I suppose. But, why? 1
Grey40 Posted April 4, 2019 Posted April 4, 2019 In my experience you’re overthinking it already. It’s not just on you to initiate. If she’s really that keen and interested she’ll also reach out to you, either directly via text or indirectly (liking or commenting on social media). When the interest is there there’s no doubting or second guessing or questioning—it just flows. I personally wouldn’t set a date for 7 days out...that’s WAY too long imo, so much momentum can be lost and seems almost too formal. 3 days out is the longest I’ll someone out now. Any more than that just gives them more time for something else to come up, or for them to overthink it and bail. Also. For a lot of people they don’t even know their schedule entirely that far out in advance.
alphamale Posted April 4, 2019 Posted April 4, 2019 27 y/o male here. Curious to hear what others who are in the 25-35 demographic have to say. i'm 54 but I have much more experience in this matter than any 25-35 does. If you want the advice let me know. 1
Foxhall Posted April 5, 2019 Posted April 5, 2019 I know texting is the easier option, I am texting much more often that phoning myself, but look its the easy and lazy option at the end of the day. from my experiences though, rapport can be built better by a phone call, you need to dial her number mate and build rapport
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2019 Posted April 5, 2019 You just say, is it alright if I get in tough with you on Thursday night? (day before the date. Or say, I'll send you a text later this week. then leave it.
GoldSparkz Posted April 6, 2019 Posted April 6, 2019 This is a tricky one because you want to keep the momentum going in between dates, but you don't want to come across too needy. Also not everyone has the time to be texting all the time. If the date is in 7 days, well that's a long time for most people with busy lives and a lot can happen during this time. Enough to cause you to forget about people you've only just met. Plus another guy could come along and express interest in her. Perhaps a phone call every 2/3 days would suffice. This way there's no need for daily contact and a string of texts going back and forth.
manfrombelow2 Posted April 6, 2019 Posted April 6, 2019 You DON'T text ANYTHING between dates. Save everything you want to say/show/act for the actual dates. The phone is only for setting up the dates. The more you "text between dates", the less she is going to look forward to meeting you in real life, which is what you actually need.
elaine567 Posted April 6, 2019 Posted April 6, 2019 Trouble is so many people are flakers and ghosters and multi-daters, so making a date then saying nothing for 7 days, will make her think you have moved on to someone else. By the time you deem to pick her up again after 7 days NC she will have already moved on or she will be so disinterested and pissed off she will not want to go on the date anyway. By doing this you are filtering off the cream, ie those with options and you will be left with the desperate, ie those who will put up with anything just to get a date. If you are interested, act interested, if not then just don't bother. 1
oceanblue12 Posted April 6, 2019 Posted April 6, 2019 There is a fine line in between being attentive and overbearing Try and find the perfect level of contact
alphamale Posted April 6, 2019 Posted April 6, 2019 You DON'T text ANYTHING between dates. Save everything you want to say/show/act for the actual dates. The phone is only for setting up the dates. The more you "text between dates", the less she is going to look forward to meeting you in real life, which is what you actually need. agreed 100%
I'veseenbetterlol Posted April 6, 2019 Posted April 6, 2019 I do equate texting to interest from personal experience. Yes texting is easy and kind of impersonal, but I always preferred a guy texting me to not having contact at all. Everyone leads busy lives school, work etc, so I don't expect/want 24/7 contact. Guys who texted me less, weren't interested. My current partner and I were in touch every day even in the 1st stages of dating. 1
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