Leticiabop Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 Girls do you think that a man that is having an emotional fling with another girl that he considers his friend/ business related besides his own girlfriend will ever bring that girl to a home party or a family get together where his actual girlfriend and family will all be together and reunited. Or can there be the possibility that if he in fact does this is just because he really has nothing to hide and they are just good friends. Someone once told that there is no such thing as a fun friendship between a man and a women. Here is my story in regards to this question. So my boyfriend is a mature man, he seems to be honest about her, he told me nothing happened between them, this other woman I am talking about is a girl he met 2 weeks after him and I started going out, she is his real state agent, they met and got to know each other in a restaurant, and since then she became his real state agent and according to him ALSO his FRIEND. the point is that once he bought the house in JULY last year, he did a house warming party and invited her and her aunt, I was there with my grandparents and aunt, and all of his family as well. Plus some of his friends were also there, I felt something shady in that party, she was all over my boyfriend, like trying to open conversation, get his attention from time to time, and follow him through the house from once in a while, my AUNT did tell me that she noticed that he looked tense, and when this woman finally left with her aunt, he seemed more relaxed. I confronted him about it and said he was tense because one of his friend only spoke English and no Spanish, so he was trying to spend time and talk with everybody in the party. So after this party I was super angry of how this was developing, that’s when I said something fishy is going on, so I decided to snoop through his phone, and found text messages, there was nothing Inappropriate per se, but I felt too much friendliness from them, she acting all nice and educated asking him how was I etc, she was working her way through him to see what she can catch, and he was being way to nice with her, always asking her opinions, offering her to pick her up if something was wrong with her car. I even saw one message in which she seemed to be tipsy and she contacted him cause she was upset at her aunt not picking her phone cause she was deep asleep, and he seemed preoccupied, he even told her that he would go and look for her to pick her up because it was dangerous for her to drive while she had been drinking. He invited her to several restaurants while they where looking for his home and after he had bought the home as well. he told me that after he bought the house his stepdad was interested in buying some properties and investing money, so he told my boyfriend to find out with his real state, And also apparently according to her messages she tells him the dinner was very nice and the had a good time. While I was reading all the texts, they appear to be just too friendly for my taste, it gave me the impression as if they were developing something more. That’s why I asked that if they actually where having an emotional fling, maybe no sex Yet, it does not make sense for him to have invited her to his housewarming party while I was there with my family and his family as well, the point is wouldn’t he had tried to hide her from me in the first place men that are cheating on their girlfriends, hide the other women at all costs. They went out on several times on weekdays different places, one is restaurants, they also went to the movies like 2 times ALSO with her NEPHEWS. to the park she was with her aunt and nephews again, and he tells me he went because he needed her advice, because the house insurance was telling him that he needed to do all the roof and he was going nuts and had no time. so he wanted to ask her if she knew someone who can fix his roof. The last time she asked him to go to the movies with her, it was her alone with him and according to him he told her he was very busy at work, cause in his mind he did not find it appropriate to go both of them alone to the movies.and that's when he started realizing also according to him that she might be interested in him in more that just a friend. in less words that she was developing feelings for him. and to me this last thing is bull****, cause he had to know she liked him wayyyy before this, how in the world a mature man in his mid 40s was not going to come to the realization that this woman liked him and wanted more than just a friendship with him since day one. The other part is... That I forgot to mention is that him and I have been together for a year and 2 months now, he met this girl like 2 weeks after me, when he decided he wanted to make his first move and buy a home to start a new life, he is divorced , no kids, so he knows this girl around the same time he met me and they became friends and she til this day today is his realtor, i had a big argument in Sept of last year due to her, so he cut some ties with her but not completely as in Cero talk, he tells me is strictly business, I have checked his messages back and forth and it’s true, nevertheless he still talks to her, and I wanted him to cut all ties with her. The last time they went to eat was in august of last year we had like 6 months already. I feel a little guilty that I did not call him much before or spend the weekdays with him, I just wanted to go out on weekends with him, so my WISE AUNTIE told me that all of that communication they had was because i was not paying attention to him or spending more time with him, which let a wide path for this girl to come in the picture and consume his weekdays, since he has no family in this country he felt lonely and bored. Now in the present as in for today, He says he has cut ties and it’s just business talks nothing personal. This past February 5 was her birthday and this WOMAN had the audacity to text him and say : Hi roger, how are you?, my birthday was this past Feb 5th. What do you get from this text, that she is pushing and pushing his buttons to see what she can get from him, or how he reacts. I do admit my boyfriend has a very big heart, he loves to help others, he is very compassionate, he starts a long conversation even with the garbage people, LOL but maybe this being super nice, caring personality traits makes women or give women the wrong impression. And comes out as being flirty or liking someone, but hey he still has a BRAIN doesn't he?. I don't know if she looked more for his attention or it was both equally, if he enjoyed it or just the fact that besides she being his real state agent they were friends. I am thinking of texting her and tell her to back off , that she is intruding in a relationship.
kendahke Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 I am thinking of texting her and tell her to back off , that she is intruding in a relationship. Unless you want all of this to end today, do not do that. It's not your place to step to her to say anything--it's his place. If he's not going to do it, then you need to understand that you rank lower than she does on his priority list--and act accordingly.
norudder Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 I am ashamed I have this experience to share but shows anything is possible. I had an affair with a married man I worked with. He invited me to his home for their annual co-workers and friends holiday party. To everyone else there I was "just a friend". Grabbed my ass in his kitchen right under his wife's nose. (Her own affair partner was there at the time too but he and I didn't know that at the time). I was not in my right mind. Disgusting behavior on both sides. There was another female coworker there that he said he'd invited so his wife wouldn't suspect anything about me being the only woman he invited from work. Turned out he had something going on with her too! All three of us at the same party. He must've thought he was really something to get away with a game like that. But whether they really are just friends or not, it doesn't matter if you aren't feeling comfortable or secure with things or able to discuss with HIM. It's up to YOU, to decide if you want to be involved with someone who has these kinds of friendships or not. Just like you're ok with someone who does drugs or not. You can't control other people, only yourself and what you abide. Don't focus on them, focus on you.
Orokotikki Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 Unfortunately I have read many such stories similar to norudder's anecdote. The fact he would bring her around openly does not mean anything towards ruling out an affair.
smackie9 Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 Just tell him to cut the crap, that this one on one stuff IS NOT appropriate for a married person to be doing. Going to the movies is a date, no matter how you slice it. 1
preraph Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 I think if he hadn't met you, who he prefers, he would have dated her and it would probably be over by now. I think she likes him more than he likes her. I think it's good he agreed to limit their involvement. So now that he has, stop worrying, but check up from time to time. I know for a fact some guys will bring both their girlfriend or wife and anything else to the same get together because I've been to my ex-bf's birthday party when every woman at the party was either an ex wife or ex girlfriend. I was standing with his cousin and she remarked that every woman in the room had dated him or still was. And two ex-wives in the room, one a real troublemaker! I said, Yeah, and he thinks he loves them all when he's having sex with them. All that takes is that one of the women be the type that won't call him on it or that doesn't care if he's sneaking around. 1
Recommended Posts