Aggresive/impatient women

[Wallysbears]

 

Example - Today I contacted a drop dead gorgeous hottie on OKC. She writes back asking if I am real because of all the fake profiles. I joke back with "Bodies that hot are usually Photoshopped so I should be asking you. ;)" She replies back with cute emojis and says "We should grab a drink" and drops her number.

 

.

 

And this? Telling a woman that bodies that hot are usually photoshopped? You sound like you just want sex. Maybe that's all she wanted also.

 

Because any grown woman worth her salt would have blocked YOU immediately for such a comment.

 

You have a glaring double standard if what you actually want is a traditional relationship. Based off your screen name here though, I'm going to guess you don't want a truly traditional relationship, you want a fantasy dom/sub type of relationship.

 

Perhaps you should frequent dating apps more suited towards that if they exist?

[LivingWaterPlease]

And this? Telling a woman that bodies that hot are usually photoshopped? You sound like you just want sex. Maybe that's all she wanted also.

 

Because any grown woman worth her salt would have blocked YOU immediately for such a comment.

 

You have a glaring double standard if what you actually want is a traditional relationship. Based off your screen name here though, I'm going to guess you don't want a truly traditional relationship, you want a fantasy dom/sub type of relationship.

 

Perhaps you should frequent dating apps more suited towards that if they exist?

 

I agree with your post, except that if the bolded is accurate (I didn't go back to check) I take exception with it and although I wrote your post could be written by my sons I doubt they'd write or say anything to a woman about a hot body unless they knew her very well and were seriously involved with her.

 

That part doesn't add up with the rest of your post, OP, IMO. It strikes me as rude and also somewhat critical, as if you're suspecting the woman of altering her photo. IOW, doubting her integrity.

 

I would think a woman with healthy self esteem wouldn't respond to you after that.

 

Maybe address that in your next post?

[Mrs._December]

She replies back with cute emojis and says "We should grab a drink" and drops her number.

Don't flatter yourself too much that she gave you her number. For women like this, it's merely a numbers game. Much like male players, these types throw their number out there to as many men as possible and they then sit back and pick through the offers when they come rolling in. She'll have tons of other offers to keep her busy even without yours.

[Els]

Lol. This post reminds me of that snowman dude in Frozen who "can't wait to see how cool he'll be in summer"...

 

Bees’ll buzz

Kids’ll blow dandelion fuzz

And I’ll be doing whatever snow does

In summer

 

A drink in my hand

My snow up against the burning sand

Prob’ly getting gorgeously tanned

In summer

 

I’ll finally see a summer breeze

Blow away a winter storm

And find out what happens to solid water

When it gets warm

 

And I can’t wait to see

What my buddies all think of me!

Just imagine how much cooler I’ll be

In summer!

 

Da da… Da doo

A bah bah ba baba boo

 

The hot and the cold are both so intense

Put ’em together, it just makes sense!

 

Rat dadat dadat dadat dadadadadoo

 

Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle

But put me in summer and I’ll be a —

Happy snowman!

 

When life gets rough I like to hold on to my dream

Of relaxing in the summer sun just lettin’ off steam!

 

Oh the sky will be blue

And you guys’ll be there too

When I finally do what frozen things do

In summer!

[RecentChange]

Sorry to add to the pile on - just noticed you are also in the SF Bay Area.

 

It’s a rat race here, cost of living is higher than NYC. In this area, many women are like myself and were raised to be strong, independent and go after what they want.

 

In a place where it’s essential to be a high earner to have a decent quality of life - these are good qualities to have. They are traits that allow a woman to excel in the work place.

 

Now - if you want to be the “daddy dom” and have a demure little lady as your partner - like others have pointed out, not only do you have to adjust your approach to one that is more respectful, slower paced, more traditional, but you also must be a strong provider.

 

Own a home, have a good career, be able to provide for a family like a man in the 1950’s did. Only homes didn’t cost on average a million dollars in the 1950’s, a man didn’t have to make well into the 6 figures to provide for a family (100k ain’t cutting it - that’s poverty level for a family of four)

 

Not only have women changed, but men’s ability to provide for a family has as well.

 

So I stand by what I first said - if you want little lady who doesn’t have the type of independence and “aggression” that leads to career success etc - then you should be a good provider for a woman who is more akin to staying at home and nurture a husband and family.

[elaine567]

I have a feeling this is not really about any long term relationship, this is about procuring a suitable woman for sex, the kind of sex he likes.

A short term fling at best... as the object of his desire will necessarily age and then she will be outwith his kink sphere...

But I could be wrong...

[Els]

I have a feeling this is not really about any long term relationship, this is about procuring a suitable woman for sex, the kind of sex he likes.

A short term fling at best... as the object of his desire will necessarily age and then she will be outwith his kink sphere...

But I could be wrong...

 

 

But he doesn't like those awful sex-positive modern women.... which, unfortunately for him, the vast majority of the kink community is. Seems like someone managed to navigate himself into a very nice spot between a rock and a hard place...

[basil67]

It's funny because I am 38 so still part of Gen X. However i was raised in more of a traditional household with structure. My dad was the breadwinner, my mom was stay at home, etc.. I honestly believe that is why I grew up so well and had such awesome values instilled in me.

 

Given the way you ghosted this girl on OLD, I would hardly say you have 'awesome values'. Your behaviour was rude. Yes, plenty of people do the same thing, but it just means you're no better than them. Someone with awesome values would politely decline.

[basil67]

I would be concerned for the welfare of the more timid young women you are aiming for. Of the couple of subs I know, they are dynamic women who go for what they want....but who are then able to drop into a sub space when they are with someone who they know and trust enough to let them lead.

 

As a mother, I would have extraordinary concerns about an older man who wanted what you do from my daughter. Have you received much push back from the mother and father of these younger, timid women you seek?

[chillii]

l think most don't understand the old school expression and seem to rip it to pieces with some submissive crap or not strong, l can't even imagine how it all gets twisted around into shyt like that.

One minute they're calling some guy names because he doesn't like doin the chasing next they're rippin into another because he does like doin the chasin , and rippin into the women he prefers too.

Go figure.

lt's actually the dead opposite to those ideas, any woman of mine is stronger than most if anything, inner strength , they don't need to jump up and down. lt'll just come out in life in 1000 ways and has many many times. Ex w was one of the toughest women l've ever met she ran rings around most , yet , old school.

But anyway.

Edited April 4, 2019 by chillii

[losangelena]

Your opening salvo would’ve made me put you into the “gross player” category, so maybe try not to be crudely obvious if demureness is what you seek.

[JuneL]

l think most don't understand the old school expression and seem to rip it to pieces with some submissive crap or not strong, l can't even imagine how it all gets twisted around into shyt like that.

One minute they're calling some guy names because he doesn't like doin the chasing next they're rippin into another because he does like doin the chasin , and rippin into the women he prefers too.

Go figure.

lt's actually the dead opposite to those ideas, any woman of mine is stronger than most if anything, inner strength , they don't need to jump up and down. lt'll just come out in life in 1000 ways and has many many times. Ex w was one of the toughest women l've ever met she ran rings around most , yet , old school.

But anyway.

 

Although I can’t buy the OP’s way of dating (calling a woman hot to her face is so off putting), there’s truth to this post. A real strong woman has much inner strength; she doesn’t have to be loud and aggressive.

[Wallysbears]

Although I can’t buy the OP’s way of dating (calling a woman hot to her face is so off putting), there’s truth to this post. A real strong woman has much inner strength; she doesn’t have to be loud and aggressive.

 

A real strong woman can be whatever she sees fit to be. Silent and demure or loud and obnoxious.

[JuneL]

A real strong woman can be whatever she sees fit to be. Silent and demure or loud and obnoxious.

 

Yeah, but some mistake being loud and aggressive as strong and independent. I’ve met so many would appear to be loud and aggressive, only to become quite and passive when it comes to more important things that really test one’s courage.

Edited April 4, 2019 by JuneL

[clia]

A lot of men now on OLD like to message back and forth forever without trying to move it into real life with any real urgency, which can end up wasting a lot of time. My guess is she was trying to head that off, show you she was interested, so you could move it to real life quickly if you were interested in doing so. I don't really see her giving her number and suggesting to grab a drink as pursuing, necessarily. Rather, she put the ball in your court to follow up, contact her, and plan something. You elected not to do so, so it's a win for her in that she didn't have to waste time messaging back and forth with you.

[Els]

Although I can’t buy the OP’s way of dating (calling a woman hot to her face is so off putting), there’s truth to this post. A real strong woman has much inner strength; she doesn’t have to be loud and aggressive.

 

 

All this woman did is ask him if he wanted to get a drink. Certainly his prerogative to decide they're not compatible (anyone is free to decline anything from a stranger whom they've never met), but that's hardly "loud and aggressive". We're not really talking about a woman who goes around yelling at people...

[Els]

l think most don't understand the old school expression and seem to rip it to pieces with some submissive crap or not strong, l can't even imagine how it all gets twisted around into shyt like that.

 

 

I think you don't understand what the OP's username means... Besides, the OP is hardly "old school". Genuinely old school men aren't on OLD commenting on "hot bodies" and giving themselves kinky names, lol.

 

If a person wants a traditional relationship, they can start by presenting themselves as traditional. I know quite a few men in happy, very traditional marriages. They tend to be quite straight-laced gentlemen and provider types. Good men (albeit not my type). No sex before marriage, date for months before you even kiss, man has a good career and pays for everything, man asks the girl's parents for permission before courting her, yadda yadda.

 

If you want a "traditional" woman but you behave like a 19-yo dude born in the year 2000... well, all I can say is, good luck.

Edited April 4, 2019 by Elswyth

[Woggle]

A man should count himself as lucky when a woman is interested in him like that. Nothing wrong with women who pursue a man she wants? Would you rather be with a woman who treats men as if we are the plague? Give me a woman anyday who let's her interest be known.

[chillii]

I think you don't understand what the OP's username means... Besides, the OP is hardly "old school". Genuinely old school men aren't on OLD commenting on "hot bodies" and giving themselves kinky names, lol.

 

If a person wants a traditional relationship, they can start by presenting themselves as traditional. I know quite a few men in happy, very traditional marriages. They tend to be quite straight-laced gentlemen and provider types. Good men (albeit not my type). No sex before marriage, date for months before you even kiss, man has a good career and pays for everything, man asks the girl's parents for permission before courting her, yadda yadda.

 

If you want a "traditional" woman but you behave like a 19-yo dude born in the year 2000... well, all I can say is, good luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nope no idea what his name means , l'm not in the States, but now that you mention it ahhh, yeah, l see what your getting at. Oh well , think he's left the building anyway haha

[gaius]

I would wager a huge part of the ED epidemic in younger guys is the upswing in agressive women. And the fact that a lot of men are being taught that's what they should be attracted to. When they're not really attracted to that.

 

Helps keep the population down so I'm all for it though.

[JuneL]

All this woman did is ask him if he wanted to get a drink. Certainly his prerogative to decide they're not compatible (anyone is free to decline anything from a stranger whom they've never met), but that's hardly "loud and aggressive". We're not really talking about a woman who goes around yelling at people...

 

I don’t disagree with that. My post was just a general observation. I’ve heard stories from my grandma’s generation that some seemingly “demure” women (that’s the role of women in her generation and demography) would single-handedly take her children and flee the war zones with minimal resources, while her husband was lost in wars.

[Els]

I don’t disagree with that. My post was just a general observation. I’ve heard stories from my grandma’s generation that some seemingly “demure” women (that’s the role of women in her generation and demography) would single-handedly take her children and flee the war zones with minimal resources, while her husband was lost in wars.

 

 

Of course. I don't think anyone is saying a "demure" woman cannot be strong, however, every demure and strong woman I know would run a mile from a man like the OP, lol. My grandmother certainly would've...

[RecentChange]

I would wager a huge part of the ED epidemic in younger guys is the upswing in agressive women. And the fact that a lot of men are being taught that's what they should be attracted to. When they're not really attracted to that.

 

Helps keep the population down so I'm all for it though.

 

Really? Nothing to do with porn and over stimulation? Lack of real life interactions and an overuse of technology. Lack of healthy lifestyle?

 

Weren’t sexually liberated women in the 70’s “aggressive” (and by aggressive, aren’t we talking about being open to male approach and making desires clear?) - did tons of young men struggle to get their dicks up back then?

 

What about the good portion of young men with ED who can’t get it up sufficiently themselves for masturbation let alone for a flesh and blood woman?

 

I don’t know - you can have your opinion, but I doubt that women making their desire for sex known is a huge part of the problem.

 

I am a “forward” woman. From the partners I have had (not porn star numbers, but more than I can count on my fingers), I have only witnessed ED once. It was a 26 year old guy with a huge porn addiction. He wanked his half limp willy multiple times a day - didn’t surprise me much that he wasn’t able to function properly.

 

Every other man I have been with never needed more than a kiss to become fully erect.

[gaius]

I used porn, technology and my hand for longer than most men probably before I started actually dating and I've never had ED problems. So I don't really buy the whole porn excuse. The times I can remember where I've been really put off by a woman was when they were overly aggressive and tried to run the show. So I have to agree with the father of the year about that.

 

Granted, every person is different and I'm sure there are some who don't mind aggressive women. Maybe you were forward in a more subtle way than the women I've dealt with. I don't know, but I do know that's been the one major turn off I've experienced. I probably wouldn't get hard if I forced myself to date a woman who just threw her number in my lap like that. Luckily I found my wife who fits me perfectly.

[Woggle]

The aggressive women are not the ones men need to be worried about. Yet another case of some not seeing the forest for the trees.