someguy95 Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 Hi all, this is my first post, and I would like some advice on a girl I like. The short version is I asked her out in a text, because we haven't been in touch for a couple of years, and she ignored me. While the most obvious solution is move on, I feel like she may have liked me in the past, and I can't help but wonder if there is a way to spark her interest again. I know girls are probably being courted by guys all the time, so it's easy to overlook the guy that didn't do anything to stand out, AKA me haha. The most important thing to do is focus on myself, I know, and I have been doing just that. I've been working, focusing on passion projects, and spending more time with friends. Since we're not really speaking, I've been trying to use social media to spark her interest, but maybe it comes off as trying too hard. I used to make a post on social media maybe a couple of times a month. Sometimes once every two months. But then she started to like my posts, and even responded to an Instagram story I posted, so since then I've been posting stuff every couple of days. But maybe I should stop posting things so much. Any advice is really appreciated. I know, looking at this from a psychological perspective, you could say I'm fixating on this crush due to a lack of self esteem, and I should just let it go. Not to mention ignoring someone who asked you out is as good as her flat out telling me she's not interested. But again, I really do think she liked me before, but I could be reading into it. What do you think?
Garcon1986 Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 Welcome to LS! We've all been in that position, heck the first time I liked girls in my life, I was exactly in your position. What I would do, is to search for women and chat/ flirt with them all the time. With your favorite woman, I would maneuver yourself into a situation where you can actually sit down and have an extended conversation with her. Then you can ask her out directly and show your confidence. She's being wishy washy with texting. If she continues to be wishy washy in responding to your face in person, that is a "no". Women usually don't like to directly tell men "no" to asking them out, because they have all met or known a buddy who has incited the anger of a man for turning down their advances, and they don't want to be the next victim. Hence - you might get "I have a boyfriend", or "I have plans". So ask her out in person and don't worry about her response. 1
Marc878 Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 You’ve been out of touch for a couple years and you asked her out by text? If you were serious you should have called her. It sounds like you’re projecting. I’m interested so she must be too thing. Apparently she’s not
Author someguy95 Posted April 2, 2019 Author Posted April 2, 2019 Yeah, I understand. I need to be honest, I've been that guy before. The one who got angry over a girl that rejected him. This too was a few years ago. I guess I felt like there was more than she was letting on. Like she wanted me to prove my worth to her and I didn't like that. I'm not proud of it, but I can't help but wonder that this girl I'm currently liking may have spoken to a mutual friend about me, and that friend told her of all that. I don't blame her for being cautious, but it sucks if that's true. I don't want those moments to be what defines me.
Simple Logic Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 Assuming she doesn’t have a BF and at one time she was interested in you, a text asking her on a date was a poor choice.
smackie9 Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 Liking pics on SM is not an indication they have a romantic interest. 1
manfrombelow2 Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 The "rule" is simple: You ask her out, maximum 2 times, if she still says no, delete her number and hit other girls. The fact that you FIXED on this particular one showed that you're not dating the right way, which is dating multiple females at once so your mind won't get stuck at "the one". 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 You need to first communicate with her and get to know her again. Liking social media posts doesn't really count. You need to actually talk to her. You could try sending a message just to see how she is doing and what's new with her. Wait and see how she responds. But don't even think about asking her out until you establish some sort of rapport with her.
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