BJP1991 Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 Have a second date this Wednesday, with a girl I met from Hinge last Wednesday for a few drinks at a place downtown. Didn't make a move on her during the first date, but happy she accepted a second date, so her interest level seems there. The plan we decided is I would pick her up at 7 from her apartment. She lives in Downtown, off of a busier road that does not have street parking. However, her building has a small horseshoe driveway right in front of the main door. My question is, for a second date that has had no physical action yet (just one hug), should I be meeting her at the front door of her building and walking her to my vehicle, which will be right there? Or, just wait in the car for her to hop in? I really would like to escalate things on this date, since I normally would on a first date, but I missed my chances last time around. I have to believe that meeting her at the door might be a better chance to initiate a more physical connection, but don't want to come off creepy or weird (if people think it's weird or not, I am sure). Plan is dinner and an activity after, this is our second date in a 1 week period, but the first one was more of a relaxed, get-to-know-you type of thing.
preraph Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 Can you even gain access to go up to her door? Sounds like an apartment high rise, which often doesn't let people just wander in. Just ask her the day of, what's the best way for me to pick you up? Find out where visitor parking is. Then if she would rather, she'll just say, call me from the driveway.
Author BJP1991 Posted April 1, 2019 Author Posted April 1, 2019 Can you even gain access to go up to her door? Sounds like an apartment high rise, which often doesn't let people just wander in. Just ask her the day of, what's the best way for me to pick you up? Find out where visitor parking is. Then if she would rather, she'll just say, call me from the driveway. I mean meet her at the front entrance for her apartment building. Not go inside, find where her room is, and wait there... Wait at the entrance to the apartment building, or wait in the car?
Ruby Slippers Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 You can't lose by making the effort to get out of the car and ring her doorbell/buzzer. Unless we've planned it beforehand, a man calling or texting from his car to pick me up would be such a turnoff I'd lose all interest. 1
Author BJP1991 Posted April 1, 2019 Author Posted April 1, 2019 You can't lose by making the effort to get out of the car and ring her doorbell/buzzer. Unless we've planned it beforehand, a man calling or texting from his car to pick me up would be such a turnoff I'd lose all interest. Thanks for the reply. I don’t think there is any buzzer to ring her when I arrive, so probably will still have to call her to say I’ve arrived. Guess I just don’t know if a girl would be taken aback to see a guy waiting in the entrance for them, instead of in their vehicle, which will be super close by.
Shining One Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 How old is the woman in question? My experience is that older women tend to expect you to be at their door (or as close as possible) and younger women don't care for the gesture or may be put off by it. 1
Author BJP1991 Posted April 1, 2019 Author Posted April 1, 2019 How old is the woman in question? My experience is that older women tend to expect you to be at their door (or as close as possible) and younger women don't care for the gesture or may be put off by it. My age (27). She lives in an apartment complex, so the closest I would get is just outside the main entrance to her building.
Shining One Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 If it were me, I'd just text her when you're close so she can come down to meet you as you pull up to her building.
Author BJP1991 Posted April 1, 2019 Author Posted April 1, 2019 If it were me, I'd just text her when you're close so she can come down to meet you as you pull up to her building. Traditionally, this is what I would do. However I would like to break the physical touch/contact/hug barrier early on, since I failed to do that on the first date. Is that still doable from in a vehicle without it being weird, however?
Shining One Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 Is that still doable from in a vehicle without it being weird, however?Yes, but make sure you're reading her body language correctly. The majority of my dates give me a kiss on the cheek (if we haven't already kissed) when they get in my car, but that's very common in South Florida. If she isn't giving "touch me" signals, then it's better to wait until later in the date.
mightybop Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 Might as well go all out. Ring her doorbell and have flowers to give her. Then open any door on the way to your car for her. If there is a puddle in her path, yes take off your coat and throw it over the puddle. Then open her door and let her get in. Then you can finally drive to the fancy restaurant. JK, if I were you I would just go up to her place and ring her doorbell. She's expecting you to pick her up at a certain time right? Unless she said "Text me when you get here" or something, just go up and get her.
salparadise Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 Text from your car, then meet her at the door where she will exit (unless she invites you in of course). When she comes out give her a hug and maybe a light kiss if she seems receptive and it's not awkward. Walk her to the car, open the door for her. Do not sit in the car. Nobody should have to tell you that! This seems like standard stuff to me.
Iris The Butterfly Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 (edited) Yes, I agree with Salparadise. Text when you're getting close. GET OUT of your car and meet her at the gate, or as far as you are able to get in. You're picking her up for a date, you aren't her Lyft driver. It's a polite and respectful gesture to meet her in person, hug or kiss on the cheek, and walk with her to your car. Don't forget to open the door for her too. This all seems like proper manners to me, but I am reminded not all men act like that. Few and far between!! Small gestures like getting out of the car and greeting your date, and opening the car door SHOULD be common sense but they aren't... but it goes a very long way for women and I promise will be appreciated. Edited April 2, 2019 by littlebridge 1
smackie9 Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 Be waiting at the door when she comes down, then open the car door for her like a gentleman. Make sure you tell her she looks lovely tonight, etc.
Foxhall Posted April 2, 2019 Posted April 2, 2019 hmmn, as the saying goes "It is the small things that trip you up" I remember meeting a girl from a college campus and simply waiting in the car for her, It did not go anywhere, but a couple of years later, we met again had a few drinks and a laugh when she told me then the fact that I did not get out of the car and walk over to greet her was certainly a negative! I guess our lady friends can be a fickle breed and now with the benefit of hindsight I wish I had paid more attention to these small details, so fair play for thinking about it, it is the small gestures that count, yes from my own experiences too, initiating physical contact at a relatively early stage is important, otherwise it may just go to a friendship and nothing more.
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