Lishy Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I have known this guy since may. We got together and i let him know that i was not interested in a realationship as i had just got out of a 14 yr relationship that has left me fragile and lacking in self esteem. Things soon turned to 'booty call' with this man (me calling him at the end of a night out) and that suited me until i realised that he had stopped called me! I can see that it probably just suited him BUT when he came over it was so lovely i could FEEL him - I dont get this with anyone but with him we used to lay and cuddle and kiss for hours and he would tell me all about himself. When he would cuddle me i really felt he meant it. The sex was not great as he had a problem with prematue ejaculation but I could deal with that as he would be so loving - touching my face holding my hands stroking me. He makes me feel so special when we are alone together. Ok this is my problem .... He has backed off now and the more he backs off the more i want him. I dream about him and think about him all the time. I decided 2 days ago to tell him how i felt .. I could not face talking to him and being rejected to my face (right now i really cant handle any type of rejection) so i texted him that i had been thinking of him and i missed his cuddles and of he wants something a little less casual to let me know .... and he has not replied! My emotions are mixed one minute i think "damn why did i tell him i am so embarressed" the next I think "Oh well i have been honest and now he knows how i feel the ball is in his court" Did i do the right thing? Do I just want him because he has backed off? Will he call or would he have called by now? my emotions change hourly but any guy i speak to stands no chance because it isnt HIM! When will this feeling go?
Author Lishy Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 I am feeling like i made a big mistake ....waaaaa Has anyone else been in this position? will he call or is it too late now?
housebaby Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I have totally been in this position before (scary). In my case, it ended up that he was scared off by my text - and replied that he thought that I was looking for a boyfriend, and that he doesn't "do" relationships --- what an A**hole. Better off that I know, now I could care less about him or what he does - games are for children anyways. I say - screw him...he may end up saying something you don't want to hear.
Author Lishy Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 thanks for your reply housebaby How long was you seeing him and what did you text him? At least you got a reply i would rather he said that to me and i could move on but he has not even had the decency to reply grrrrrrrrrr Men eh .... Cant live with em, cant SHOOT EM!!!!
georgiagirl76 Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 I am not sure that what I suggest you will like to hear. I know that you were getting something from him-cuddles, affection, feeling wanted. I know that coming out of a 14 year relationship can be extremely difficult and the nights alone can be devastating. However, I think that one of the main problems is that you were using him to get through the lonliness and pain. I think a lot of us have done it and it is easy to get wrapped up in another relationship (whatever the terms) because you are so vulnerable. You need to be careful though because you are already fragile so when the new one doesn't work out then all the old emotions come crashing down and you have to deal with both. I am sure you want him solely because he is pulling away or else you would have wanted more from him prior to him pulling away. Hang in there.
Author Lishy Posted September 21, 2005 Author Posted September 21, 2005 I value ANY advice right now Georgia and I also think you are so right. I mainly contacted him when my son was at his dads for the night and i didnt want to be alone! When i called and he couldnt come around i would feel obsessed with getting him here but when he came and seemed so happy to be here i would look at him and wonder what i saw in him!! That scares me as the feelings i have right now feel so real but are they? i doubt it sometimes. I also think my pride is very hurt that i slept with him and in 34 years i only slept with 2 guys and they where both long realtionships. I think hey i made you my 3rd and you dont appreciate it! Maybe all i want is for HIM to want ME and then i could move on .. Oh i dont know i am so confused!!!!!! All i know is i can picture his face now and i want him here with me. It would help if he just replied and said he didnt want anything with me then i could think ok no problem. When i see him i can see he fancies me and wants me but i do think i scare him. My insecurities actually make me come across as the most confident person you could meet. He sees me as so confident and in control but he doesnt know how i feel inside. I just wish i could get closure. I met a really nice guy on Saturday but all i could think about was him. Grrr:mad:
questionsforyall Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 well you learned one thing dont ever get yourself into that situation again because you cant handle it , by that i mean your booty call
Author Lishy Posted September 23, 2005 Author Posted September 23, 2005 For sure and i made that promise to myself a while ago - I do feel let down with myself even though it was ME making the 'booty calls'
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