basil67 Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 You spoke without thinking about what the message could be. But he's also very wary. I'd say there's equal faults on both sides.
fred123 Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 If he is, I think you dodged a bullet. I'm a guy and I would have laughed and thought it was a joke. If he's that insecure, then you're better off. if a girl said that to me it might be her trying to hint shes not interested in a future with me. if i try continue to pursue her im now facing harrasment and sexual harrasment allegations and i become the " creepy guy not getting the hint". welcome to me2 world and feminism. its messed up men. congrats women
elaine567 Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 Show that you’re interested = Chase them away Show indifference = They move onto someone else But that is not really how it works. He is disinterested, you show interest or you show disinterest, he walks away anyway. Your input is irrelevant. He is interested, you show interest, he shows more interest.. He is interested, you show indifference, he either tries to get you interested or he thinks it is a waste of time and walks away. Too many blame themselves when lukewarm/cold people walk away, but the trick is not to try to persuade lukewarm/cold people to like/date you, the trick is to identify those who are very interested in you and take it from there. 3
Author Pearl_x Posted March 31, 2019 Author Posted March 31, 2019 But that is not really how it works. Too many blame themselves when lukewarm/cold people walk away, but the trick is not to try to persuade lukewarm/cold people to like/date you, the trick is to identify those who are very interested in you and take it from there. Maybe that’s where I am going wrong lol I also probably shouldn’t get so attached in the early stages because I do tend to blame myself and feel ****ty when a guy is no longer interested even if it’s only been a date or two :-( 1
OatsAndHall Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 (edited) I wouldn't read into it too much, either way. If you're into him, then keep in touch and try to set up another date and see where it goes. He hasn't mentioned anything about it so I don't think there's a reason to drop things just yet. It's a whole different story if he stated that he was upset by your comment; then it's time to call it quits. But, this is one of the pit-falls of OLD; too much electronic communication. A comment is made, we wonder if that comment upset them in the back of our heads, we try to figure out if they were put-off through a medium of communication with no tone, and the vicious cycle begins. The only way to truly gauge a situation is to try to move things along and meet up again. If he's flaky about meeting up then move on and don't waste your time. If you meet up and he's acting weird, move on and don't waste your time. If you meet up and have fun then just keep rolling with it. Edited March 31, 2019 by OatsAndHall
Author Pearl_x Posted March 31, 2019 Author Posted March 31, 2019 I wouldn't read into it too much, either way. If you're into him, then keep in touch and try to set up another date and see where it goes. He hasn't mentioned anything about it so I don't think there's a reason to drop things just yet. It's a whole different story if he stated that he was upset by your comment; then it's time to call it quits. But, this is one of the pit-falls of OLD; too much electronic communication. A comment is made, we wonder if that comment upset them in the back of our heads, we try to figure out if they were put-off through a medium of communication with no tone, and the vicious cycle begins. The only way to truly gauge a situation is to try to move things along and meet up again. If he's flaky about meeting up then move on and don't waste your time. If you meet up and he's acting weird, move on and don't waste your time. If you meet up and have fun then just keep rolling with it. Well I have already been in touch with an upbeat message, got a response as I said I felt something was off and I responded with a cute face emoji just to keep it friendly, I didn’t want to push for conversation. If he’s still interested he will be in touch, I can’t keep reaching out to him trying to move things along. The ball is in his court now. And I will continue talking to others too.
OatsAndHall Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 Well I have already been in touch with an upbeat message, got a response as I said I felt something was off and I responded with a cute face emoji just to keep it friendly, I didn’t want to push for conversation. If he’s still interested he will be in touch, I can’t keep reaching out to him trying to move things along. The ball is in his court now. And I will continue talking to others too. Yeah, I wouldn't push it either. I'd probably call it a wash if he's not returning messages.
preraph Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 While I do agree it's lame that someone would be shot down by such a comment in the middle of a date in a conversation such as that, I also understand that these days, with OLD and everyone striving to know when this perfect stranger is interested and when they aren't, men especially may be sensitive to "taking a hint" and may be nervous enough that they are really on alert for it and don't want to stick their necks out just in case you really meant it as a hint. So I am in the camp that says you should reach out and talk to him about something light and tell him to holler if he feels like it, that you'd like to see him again. I mean, why not? He either will or he won't. If he doesn't, at least you won't wonder about it.
Mrin Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 A couple of things: 1. What you said would not be an ,"ender" for most confident dudes. But it was a pretty dumb thing to say. Avoid stuff like that as it does you no good because... 2. Let's face it, people in your "normal range" are pretty much disposable on OLD for the first few dates. As long as you live in a decent sized city there are zero or very few consequences to "nexting" someone. If he has any OLD skills it doesn't take much to have another slate of women to date - just like it doesn't take you to replenish your "man reserve". Because of this people can be really twitchy about moving on to the next one especially if they are multi-dating already. That's the gross part of OLD - disposable humans. 3. That being said - you seem like a sarcastic woman and dudes that can't handle sarcasm have no business dating sarcastic women. Onward! 1
Author Pearl_x Posted April 1, 2019 Author Posted April 1, 2019 While I do agree it's lame that someone would be shot down by such a comment in the middle of a date in a conversation such as that, I also understand that these days, with OLD and everyone striving to know when this perfect stranger is interested and when they aren't, men especially may be sensitive to "taking a hint" and may be nervous enough that they are really on alert for it and don't want to stick their necks out just in case you really meant it as a hint. So I am in the camp that says you should reach out and talk to him about something light and tell him to holler if he feels like it, that you'd like to see him again. I mean, why not? He either will or he won't. If he doesn't, at least you won't wonder about it. Even though I already reached out?
kendahke Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 Maybe that’s where I am going wrong lol I also probably shouldn’t get so attached in the early stages because I do tend to blame myself and feel ****ty when a guy is no longer interested even if it’s only been a date or two :-( Yeah, stop doing that... invest only when the prospect look good for a ROI.
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