RecordProducer Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 If you sleep with 7 different men in one night would that terminate your agreement? The 7-night agreement also sounds ridiculous to me. So does your BF want to live with you? Because if not then you don't have to make the decision right now. How about if you stay at his house? Even if your husband hires a PI to follow you for 7 nights, how can he actually prove at court that the guy slept in your house? Plus that would cost a lot, I guess to have a PI sitting in front of your house every single night. I mean, how would your husband know that you have someone in your life at all? Would your child tell him? In any case this is probably not a good permanent solution. Would you be happy to be single for the rest of your life for $1,300 a month? If you don't live with anyone in the next 10 years you will make $156,000 (before tax). Do you think it's worth it? It could be. It depends on what you value more. So are you able to pay all the bills with just $1,300? Are you renting an apartment? Do you have any intention to find a job? What if your husband dies?
Horse Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 WTF do you mean you've hired him before and he took it off your support? IF he's making a nice living for himself why would he work for you? See this doesn't even make sense. If this is true, then he's not. He pays about 40% income tax. That leaves about $36000. Then he pays her about $16000 in support leaving a little over $20,000 or about $1650 ($1400 USD) a month. I don't think I would be too worried about him hiring a PI. After he pays his bills and buys food and clothes for a 16 year old boy, he probably can't afford toilet paper. he can't afford to stand guard outside her house either because he has to watch his kid.
Author Juliet Posted September 23, 2005 Author Posted September 23, 2005 He is flopping out of school and his dad buys him a Fender! My son also gets money to clean up after himself. My son has thousands of dollars in music related items and hundreds in video games and pc stuff. My son is spoiled..not living poor trust me on that. My ex also has another income. He has a business on the side..under the table.. He makes about $300-$400 every weekend. The 60 grand per year was what he was making a couple of years ago. He has been promoted and makes $45 per hour when he does over time. He lives with my best girlfriend and has a decent apt for only $350 per month. He can afford to scuba dive often and travel with friends as well. Everyone says he is looking better than ever..
Topper Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 So are you telling us that you and he are both drug dealers? Sure sounds that way.
Horse Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 This thread gets less and less believable with every post.
RecordProducer Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 He pays about 40% income tax. That leaves about $36000. What?!?!?!?! You pay 40% tax on income in the United States? I know the tax rate is not flat, but is a person who makes $60k BT really left with $36k AT? [This thread gets less and less believable with every post./QUOTE] Just because something is unbelievable doesn't mean it's untrue.
Horse Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 What?!?!?!?! You pay 40% tax on income in the United States? I know the tax rate is not flat, but is a person who makes $60k BT really left with $36k AT? Not in the US, but Canadians who make 60K a year pay pretty close to that depending on what part of the country they live in. In the US someone who makes 60K would pay around 25%. I don't pay anywhere near that. Up until this year I was in college, owned a home, married and I didn't make that much money. I had more tax deductions than I knew what to do with. [This thread gets less and less believable with every post./QUOTE] Just because something is unbelievable doesn't mean it's untrue. That's why I kept responding, but the story keeps changing. First he makes 60K now he makes more like 85K (if you include the "side business") maybe even more if you include his over-time. If that's the case, then yeah he would have lot's of money left over to pay the bills (50K+). But then why would he share an apartment that must be so outrageously cheap that the guy can take up two thirds of it (unless he is sharing a room with his son) and still only pay $350 for rent. And then Merins original question becomes valid. If he has fat wads of cash, works overtime, and his own side business why would he spend his precious free time working for his ex? It's hard to reply when every time someone brings up a question, the situation changes. Also does it matter if the new guy is a cheater if she is also a cheater? Isn't he just as likely to get burned as her? She says he has nothing to lose, but what if they got married? He could end up paying $1300/month for the rest of his life. And what kind of person is willing to forego a real relationship with someone they claim to love for a meal ticket.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Now I don't know anything about canadian divorce law but i can't believe it would be that different than the us..so I won't state any laws In the US for someone to get permanant allimony they have to married in a long term marriage.. Normally the kind that get it have been married for more than 30 years and he was the sole provider and she raised the kids and cannot get a job or provide for herself. She said they were only married 18 years and the child is not grown and he has the child.. She owns a business and can provide for herself so how did the courts stick him with permanant alimony of 1300 per month. Also for the court to set the alimony at 1300 they would have to consider how much money he makes.. Someone with bad credit and lots of cc bills doesn't have any money and the courts wouldn't be giving her that much money .. She would get like 500 per month.. I think that this person is either not telling the whole story or is just a troll looking to engage people for a college project or some sort of sh*t like that
RecordProducer Posted September 24, 2005 Posted September 24, 2005 Good points, Arty. We obviously don't know the whole truth. In any case, the court can decide whatever the parties agree on. She might have blackmailed him about his business under the table so he agreed to pay $1,300. Also don't forget that he was stealing marital assets for himself so he could've ended up before the judge for that too had she decided to sue him. I think it's irrelevant how much he makes and why she gets the money. The point is will she continue to live for his money until (and if) she re-marries (without living with the guy prior to marrying him) or will she get a job and be financially and emotionally independent? In order that we state our opinions we surely need to know alittle about her skills and opportunitites for her to find a job. If for any reason she is incapable of working then moving in with a guy who might not marry her later could deprive her from alimony forever. On the other hand I can hardly imagine that she couldn't find a job that pays more than that. She is young and with time could develop her abilities and gain experience and end up with a much better income than $1,300. I also wonder if she would receive alimony if she gets a job.
Author Juliet Posted September 24, 2005 Author Posted September 24, 2005 yes.. i can receive alimony up until i gross $100.000,00 a year. He agreed to that himself. He thinks it will really happen if I put my mind to it. When we separated he made $60.000,00 per yr.. and if he were to make a million now it would not raise the support..it is geared to what you were making when you broke up. That is why i said $60,000,00. The story maybe unbelievable..but 100% true. I saw a mediator..he is like a lawyer who does not pick sides. He mediates. The majority of the marriage i did not work..i raised our child. I do not have my highschool diploma or any real tangible skills other than what i taught myself. My health has been very poor over the years. I spend around $80.00 per month in meds after coverage's. Migraines..and constant infections. I did have a car accident this year which put me back..on implementing ideas for expanding my business. The ex did come over and help me with house work and dinners while i healed from whip lash..He can be a nice guy He does not sell drugs..he DJs. I don''t know why everyone finds the story unbelievable..? The mediator said the separation agreement was very typical for the time we were together. I don't understand what the big deal is.
RecordProducer Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 I also don't find the story less believable than any other life story. Some questions were unanswered, but they were irrelevant to the question you posed anyway. I guess some people got worried about how someone can get such a high alimony without even having a custody over her child. But I don't think there is much to envy you for, you don't have a job and $1,300 a month is all you have. I think you should move in with anyone unless you're already engaged and know that you will marry him so you can risk to lose your alimony. Just for the sake of living with this guy without knowing what will happen next, IMHO you shouldn't risk. What if you break up with him and you've lost your alimony already and don't have a job. There is nothing wrong with dating and not moving it together prior to marrying someone. I agree that you should be free and financially independent so for your own future, you should probably get some training or finish high-school and possibly some associate's degree so that you can work and make decent money in a few years. You don't want to depend on men for the rest of your life, don't you?
Ms_Sweetness Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 I agree that 1300 is alot of spousal support but I don't see the problem with it. Sounds like a pretty cool agreement if you ask me. If you decide that someone who comes into your life is "the one" then you will know because you won't care about the spousal support, it wouldn't even be an issue, so I say that since you have a few reservations about this new guy, don't risk it, apparently something subconcioulsy is telling you that this guy may not be worth the risk.
JayKay Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 In this day and age, it does sound like a lot for spousal support with no kids involved. However, things vary greatly from state to state. My BF had to pay his ex wife spousal support for a few years, EVEN THOUGH she had greater earnings potential than he did! She just 'decided' not to work during their marriage because she was so 'stressed out'. Ugh. It still makes him really upset to think or talk about it. Anyway.... It sounds like the OP has a very controlling husband who really resents paying her anything. So the one way he can continue to control her behavior is by putting a condition on these payments. Truthfully, as a woman I wouldn't want to be dependent on ANYONE for finances. Especially since you don't have kids involved! Why not get an education? You can learn to prepare taxes or do accounting or be a vet tech....all areas where there is high demand and certificates can be gotten in a short amount of time (yes, I know for proper CPA's it's a longer process...but you can start with an associate's degree just to get into the field). Once you have your own finances in order, NO ONE can dictate how you behave or who you see or spend time with. In the meantime, you have your 'rules' set for you so I suggest you abide by them as long as you need the scheduled payments.
Woggle Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 Somehow this story does not sound believable.
littlekitty Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 Somehow this story does not sound believable. So far nothing the OP has posted has sounded believable. We just keep hearing 'my life is unbelievable....'!! Disclaimer: This is only IMHO....!!
Art_Critic Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 So far nothing the OP has posted has sounded believable. We just keep hearing 'my life is unbelievable....'!! Disclaimer: This is only IMHO....!! She also started the 2 million dollars for sex post as well..
littlekitty Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 She also started the 2 million dollars for sex post as well.. Yeah AC! I'm all for being understanding of all types, and all issues...! It's takes all sorts to make the world go round after all...!! But this one (Juliet) just doesn't ring true for me. All her posts are strange, go off at tangents, and her stories change. There's just something up here.....!
Horse Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 In this day and age, it does sound like a lot for spousal support with no kids involved. But there is a child involved and he is taking care of the child. She should be paying him support. Not the other way around. But I will believe just about anything when it comes to divorce laws. They are all screwed up. If it all true.. Then the ex is getting hosed, but he is apparantly happy with it. I have a hard time accepting the whole thing because too many questions pop into my head, like "If he is working overtime and an extra job on weekends, why is he also raising their child while she stays at home." I guess it doesn't have to be true for us to answer it though. If $1300/month is enough to prevent you from moving forward with this guy, then you probably don't love him as much as you think you do. Or your priorities are all off. Or more likely both. I wouldn't do it.
Juliet2 Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 bottom line... i need to work full time to score my independence back. My ex does not seem overly bitter with the arrangement for now..but he understands I need time to get on my feet. He recently asked if i thought we would ever get back together. I think he just does not want to pay the $1300per month
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