willgurney Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 (edited) So this girl was interested in me but i really messed things up. She added me on snapchat and we were talking a lot. We met up to do homework and then i asked her to get lunch with me a couple days later. All was going really well. We hung out one night at a look out point that over saw the city--this was my chance to tell her how i feel/make my intentions clear--but i didn't tell her anything. After this she got kinda distant over the next couple of days, which at the time i didn't understand but now i know why( i didn't make a move/show interest). I asked her to come over to my house the next weekend and she said yes. When she was at my house we watched a movie and again i failed to make a move and was just acting weird about things in general. After this time hanging out I feel she really lost interest. She removed me from her private snapchat story and stopped replying to my snaps/texts consistently, and if she did reply the answers were short-mostly one word. I felt as if i had really let one slip away. After this going on for about 2 weeks i decided to ask her what happened. I basically said "I don't want to put you on the spot but I've been wondering what happened, not too long ago we were talking and hanging out a lot and now we barely talk. I really like you and miss hanging out." I also told her that i felt i knew the reason why she became so aloof was because of how i acted and the fact i never really told her how i felt about her. She told me that she has been super busy with school and is hasn't been using much social media. I know this to be false, also this doesn't explain her blocking me from seeing her private snapchat story. She did say that I was realy sweet to text her about it and she would like to meet up and get together to do homework together later this week. I almost feel that she is just doing this to be nice and avoid making things awkward. Is she still interested or did she lose interest because i didn't tell her how i feel and make a move and now she is just being nice? I said yes to meeting up so if you guys could offer some advice as to how i should act when we meet that would be apriciated. Like should try to progress things again or not? How should i gauge if she is still interested while I'm there? I should also add that she was definetly into me. I had multiple people tell me that she had either told them or her friends that she liked me. Edited March 27, 2019 by willgurney wanted to provide more details
40somethingGuy Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 So this girl was interested in me but i really messed things up. She added me on snapchat and we were talking a lot. We met up to do homework and then i asked her to get lunch with me a couple days later. All was going really well. We hung out one night at a look out point that over saw the city--this was my chance to tell her how i feel/make my intentions clear--but i didn't tell her anything. After this she got kinda distant over the next couple of days, which at the time i didn't understand but now i know why( i didn't make a move/show interest). I asked her to come over to my house the next weekend and she said yes. When she was at my house we watched a movie and again i failed to make a move and was just acting weird about things in general. After this time hanging out I feel she really lost interest. She removed me from her private snapchat story and stopped replying to my snaps/texts consistently, and if she did reply the answers were short-mostly one word. I felt as if i had really let one slip away. After this going on for about 2 weeks i decided to ask her what happened. I basically said "I don't want to put you on the spot but I've been wondering what happened, not too long ago we were talking and hanging out a lot and now we barely talk. I really like you and miss hanging out." I also told her that i felt i knew the reason why she became so aloof was because of how i acted and the fact i never really told her how i felt about her. She told me that she has been super busy with school and is hasn't been using much social media. I know this to be false, also this doesn't explain her blocking me from seeing her private snapchat story. She did say that I was realy sweet to text her about it and she would like to meet up and get together to do homework together later this week. I almost feel that she is just doing this to be nice and avoid making things awkward. Is she still interested or did she lose interest because i didn't tell her how i feel and make a move and now she is just being nice? I said yes to meeting up so if you guys could offer some advice as to how i should act when we meet that would be apriciated. Like should try to progress things again or not? How should i gauge if she is still interested while I'm there? I should also add that she was definetly into me. I had multiple people tell me that she had either told them or her friends that she liked me. Because women want a take charge guy who has self confidence and think they are a prize too. Do you think you took charge? No. You pussyfooted around. You don't have to TELL her how interested you are...you show that through actions like at minimum placing your hand on her cheek and kissing her. That is a start. Instead, you acted timid and scared and that will always get you in the position you are in. In short, you don't portray any self confidence so you are now weak and boring. 2
Lotsgoingon Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Look if you're really hesitant in making a move, you can try out a middle step. Tell her you feel like hugging her ... or you feel like kissing her. Another middle step ... tell her, "you're so pretty." "I love hanging out with you." Say this in the moment--not later in the phone call. The advantage of the middle steps is the other person will usually give you a clear-cut answer ... They will either move toward you or move away ... or tell you, "So why don't you (kiss me)?" ... Another safe, middle-game move. Take her hand ... she'll either respond by tightening her grip on your hand .. or not. Instead of putting pressure on yourself for dramatic big steps ... which only increases your discomfort ... and leads to more fear ... making it harder to take that step ... Instead of all that, try out some small steps. Good job in calling her and speaking to her ... that took some courage. But words don't make up for not showing interest in the moment. A lot of women out there think a guy must really dislike them if they're out with the guy and the moment seems right and he does nothing.
emeraldgreen Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Stop using snapchat to gauge relationships or intentions. What is it with every second thread being "she looked at my snapchat. does she want my baby gravy?" these days? Pursue girls you like in the real world. Not only will it make you stand out from everyone else, but it will also give you less anxiety about what every little social media move means. You seem to have frozen a couple of times here so I feel you're an overthinker (definitely been there and can relate) and social media overanalysis just heightens that.
smackie9 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 baby gravy......ew. wants some baby gravy on them tater tots?
manfrombelow2 Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 1. She had positive feelings for you. That's why she added you. But you "talked" a lot, and that is BAD. She added me on snapchat and we were talking a lot. 3. Oh no. You either date her or you don't do anything at all. You don't do "homeworks" with the girl you wanna have sexual intercourse with. We met up to do homework 4. You don't do "lunch" with the girl you wanna have sexual intercourse with. Lunches are not fun. And women want to have fun. and then i asked her to get lunch with me a couple days later 5. It was actually a good thing. You don't "confess" your feeling ever. That's suicidal. this was my chance to tell her how i feel/make my intentions clear--but i didn't tell her anything. 6. Because she was expecting a kiss or any kind of physical contact from you, which you refused to give by being such a p*ssy. After this she got kinda distant over the next couple of days, which at the time i didn't understand but now i know why( i didn't make a move/show interest). 7. She gave you a second chance by agreeing to come over your house. She was asking for sex. I asked her to come over to my house the next weekend and she said yes. 8. You messed up tremendously at this point. You were too terrified being near her so you ended up DOING NOTHING. When she was at my house we watched a movie and again i failed to make a move and was just acting weird about things in general. 9. Yes, she did. I would lose interest too if I was her. Anybody would. After this time hanging out I feel she really lost interest. 10. You talked a lot. And your speech was full of needy and clingy content. Girls hate weak beta males. i decided to ask her what happened. I basically said "I don't want to put you on the spot but I've been wondering what happened, not too long ago we were talking and hanging out a lot and now we barely talk. I really like you and miss hanging out." I also told her that i felt i knew the reason why she became so aloof was because of how i acted and the fact i never really told her how i felt about her. 11. Just an excuse girls use to smooth the situation. Don't buy it. She told me that she has been super busy with school and is hasn't been using much social media.
Marc878 Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 Live and learn bud. Timing is everything. What were you waiting on?
Inspire Posted April 3, 2019 Posted April 3, 2019 So you knew she was interested but still didn't make a move? For all you know she told her friends to tell you she was into you ... at that point the ball was completely in your court and in a sense you rejected her. Stop talking about how you feel and make the move. The longer you delay it, the more awkward it will become.
GoldSparkz Posted April 6, 2019 Posted April 6, 2019 You had two opportunities to make your feelings clear and you 'chickened out' due to lack of self confidence. Just like everyone has said, girls like confidence in guys. You could be the most attractive guy in the room, but if you lack the ability to take charge of the situation, no girl is going to be interested in you. Think about how the lion seeks out its prey. Well we humans aren't much different. To boost your confidence, take baby steps. Maybe you could try approaching girls more and each time, get used to speaking to them. They're not going to bite! Once you feel confident approaching girls, then you can try asking them out. You can build your confidence with every girl you meet.
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