mortensorchid Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 I was on Facebook today (like everyone else is) and I got an IM from a guy who I added a while back. I was adding people in a group for something, probably theater people. He sends me an IM and we started chatting. I kept things late and airy, wasn't sure what this was about at first. He said he was in the middle of an art project for a festival going on this weekend. And I checked this out, it was legit. He asked what I was doing today, I said not sure why? He said let's meet up, I said not today but tomorrow would be better for me. He said okay, I said we can coordinate a time/place tomorrow. Why did I say no? Well I didn't want to look too eager but I also thought about things in terms of safety. I don't know this person. I made sure to tell him my age (44) and he said he was 37 so we aren't kids here. What's my next move?
RecentChange Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 I think you need to find a way to feel more self assured. Confident in your decision making. I am not sure why this exchange made you doubt yourself. Most people wouldn’t agree to meet on the same day - last minute plans and all of that. If you want to meet, be sure to reach out to him early tomorrow regarding a time and a place. Ball is in your court now. 1
alphamale Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 your next move is to hit nordstroms and buy a nice outfit for meeting up with this guy
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Yes, I think you did the right thing. I hope it goes well tomorrow!
TheFinalWord Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 I think that was fine. You probably said no so you could process what happened, since it kind of came out of the blue. Good luck!
Interstellar Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 You’re right to say no. He’s a complete stranger and on a very, very short notice. Meet in a very public place and don’t be alone with him.
Author mortensorchid Posted March 27, 2019 Author Posted March 27, 2019 I am meeting him this evening. Will update all as to events that follow. And we're meeting in a public place this isn't a dangerous situation. 1
kendahke Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Why did I say no? because you're your own worst enemy Coffee in a public place--1/2 hour of your day. Easy peasy done.
Gretchen12 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Actually, you didn't say no. You said yes to meeting him and you are doing it today. Let us know what happens!
ExtraSpice Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Sounds like all is good from what you said. He asked you out for a particular time, you said no and suggested another time. He said yes. Now all is left is to meet him and see how it goes. As for why you said no, who knows but it doesn't really matter. I think our minds tend to unnecessarily concentrate on somethings and elevate them to the status of an issue. Where as in reality there is no need to engage those thoughts at all. Easier said than done I suppose.
Author mortensorchid Posted March 27, 2019 Author Posted March 27, 2019 He just canceled on me. He said he is double booked for the night. I will sit tight and wait for him to reschedule. Annoyed.
dangerous Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 Wait. He cancelled on same day, double booked? Not good, espacially after he asked you out. Personally I would NOT wait to hear from him. Move on.
maxi105 Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 hmmmm....im afraid the only thing Imwondering right now is the fact you have asked us for your next move in the first post... and you are 44! but for all that, I wish you well if this date does actually happen. and also to keep with the off beat theme on this one...sorry...but It kinda amused me a little, but not in the right way im sure: but there is no guarantee these says that meeting in a public place wont save you from any unexpected danger!!!!...but hey if you like this guy I hope it works out for you. but if im honest, I think you are both not really that sure and keeping your options open for something better to come along, and im wondering whether something better has come along, and so your date has been put back? I wouldn't put any money on this guy, and I think unless you meet up soon then there may not be much point really. I also think if he messes around with the times he can meet you again then forget it hopefully you got for yourself a good enough or genuine reason why he cancelled in the first place when he;d only just agreed to it. I think you sound more bothered than he is about this thing...good luck, but it sounds already like you have different priorities and expectations for what you are looking for in a partner/date and I think he will have more opportunity to meet others just from his age and hobbies and lifestyle of what you say. good luck, but if it were me, meet if he's willing, but move on if its not working, just do it kindly and fairly. see ya. maxi
Author mortensorchid Posted March 28, 2019 Author Posted March 28, 2019 Haven't heard a word from him. Moving on. It's what it is.
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