Like being desired but not sure I desire back

[Gagis]

So this is a follow up question to some of my previous posts.

 

The background is I've been dating a woman for about four months and in that time we haven't even kissed.

 

She doesn't phone me all the time but she does contact me without prompting about once a week.

 

This is a relatively new experience for me, as I said in a previous post, for the most part, my friends never contact me without prompting.

 

The only time this has happened before was when I was with my first girlfriend and she used to call me every day practically which was a bit much in the end.

 

I like the feeling that someone desires me enough to contact me. I like the fact that I can contact her, that she's there for me.

 

However I'm not sure I actually desire her, rather I just desire a relationship, any relationship.

 

I've only ever had one girlfriend and that only lasted six months.

 

This relationship does good things for my self-esteem and helps with my insecurities, but it also feels a little false.

 

I'm not sure the sexual chemistry is there, though we discussed this together, and she said that that wasn't a problem.

 

If I was more confident or experienced, then I might take the risk of looking for someone more suited to me, but as she said herself, personality wise we're very compatible, and we're both in similar situations owing to our mental health.

 

What do people think I should do?

 

Is it ok to start looking for somebody else, would that ruin the relationship that I have now, which I don't really want to lose unless I was sure that I had found the right person elsewhere?

 

Thank you.

[basil67]

She's OK with there being no chemistry. This tells me that she's either asexual or that she's spending time with you until a guy comes along and she finds mutual sexual attraction.

 

Are either of these scenarios OK with you?

[Inspire]

You've said that you've only had one relationship that lasted 6-months and have very little experience. Well here is your opportunity to gain some experience. Go out on a few dates, spend some time with her and see where it goes.

[smackie9]

Like I always say keep your dance card full, and your options open. Go out there and date different women...just for fun and see what sticks. Worry about the relationship stuff for the promising one. The one that is more responsive, and reciprocates, and the one who you are most comfortable with. You are struggling with this one, time to move on. Things are supposed to glide along when you meet the right one for a relationship. You are pushing it way too hard to make it happen, so you are not investing properly and that is why you get nowhere.

[preraph]

If neither of you have pushed for sex in four months, then sounds like neither of you really wants it, so why not just be friends if it doesn't happen naturally.