DaddyDom Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 I think one reason why women fail with OLD is they adapt a different mindset with guys online. They rattle off ten million questions, go through checklists they have, etc.. It just never feels organic/natural. Romance is supposed to be playful, fun, and in the moment. Flirtation and banter that leads to sexual tension and deeper conversation. Ideally you'll have lust AND that strong connection. But women have become so guarded and business like online they treat it like they're shopping for a new car or like they're conducting a job interview. I mean let's say a guy approaches you in real life. Are the first words out of your mouth going to be "If we got together would you want kids?" I had a woman ask me this recently on the second message. LOL
bmh Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 Oh my I once had a man message me and want to take me shopping. That’s all he wanted. To just spend money on me. I couldn’t in good conscious agree to that lol
Author DaddyDom Posted March 26, 2019 Author Posted March 26, 2019 Oh my I once had a man message me and want to take me shopping. That’s all he wanted. To just spend money on me. I couldn’t in good conscious agree to that lol Haha I think one of the hottest things in the world is to take a woman shopping, pick out things I want to see her in, have her model for Daddy like a good girl, and then her trying not to be too loud when I have my way with her in the dressing room. But that obviously comes after I've already been seeing her. Writing some random stranger that I want to take her shopping would be REALLY weird. LOL I think having standards are important!
bmh Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 yea...no. He didn’t want to dress me up for him. He wanted to dress me up for other men. Different strokes for different folks I believe Online dating gets really weird
Author DaddyDom Posted March 26, 2019 Author Posted March 26, 2019 yea...no. He didn’t want to dress me up for him. He wanted to dress me up for other men. Different strokes for different folks I believe Online dating gets really weird Hahahahaha WTF? Oh well. At least you've got a funny story.
Andy_K Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 Disagree. I've never experienced this, and I've done a LOT of online dating. I actually think it might work better if they did act as you describe. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 I prefer organic conversation style of getting to know each other online too dom. one of my biggest pet peeves with men online (and actually I have dealt with this from a guy offline too) is 21 questions interview/interrogating style. "whats your favorite color" "whats your favorite food" "what are you looking for in a relationship". thats not conversation. I try to answer in a way that encourages conversation though. many people are in their heads and dont know how to date by just being normal lol. but I have my own ways of being socially akward myself so I try to be forgiving lol. 1
emeraldgreen Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 I refuse to take part in the job interviews, especially when they won't take questions until they let you through to stage 2. Screw that! 1
NuevoYorko Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 People fail at online dating for a myriad of reasons. Doing a bad job of "organic" conversing is probably not specific to women. In any case, in my personal opinion women generally have a much easier time of online dating than men do. This opinion is supported by a lot of threads on this site. I don't think women need to be sitting around and worrying about whether they are adept at organic discourse. Cute pictures are the main thing. 1
chillii Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Couldn't agree with that one there seems to be many many threads of women had enough of it all too , not only in this forum. And it was the same story in my brief old career , l met the picks of the lot but even they'd all still had a gut full of all it and a helluva run. Most of the others were all on 3 and 4 other date sites too so nope, no way many of them were doing too well either. My site had join time thing on profiles too and even the most decentest ladys on there had mostly been on and off it for years. So nope , not by a long shot with anything l've seen.
smackie9 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 From what I have seen posted on here....most who use OLD are socially awkward, shy, inexperienced or nervous....and that's why the convos are not so great. They just don't know how to have an nice friendly conversation. So when you see that, you get put off and swipe left. 3
Gretchen12 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 OP if you were dating men, you'd say the same thing because men are doing it too. And Smackie is right, the person is awkward. When a person can't hold a conversation, and doesn't have anything interesting to say, he just keeps asking questions to throw it back at the other person. Also they believe asking questions means showing interest. You should try meeting women in real life. 2
Lorenza Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Still doesn't beat a guy bringing his CV to our date 2
kendahke Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Women are going to be guarded online with strangers and are going to want to know a bazillion things and ask a bazillion questions because they aren't sitting across a table from the guy looking in his face and gauging his reaction. This isn't spending a couple of hours talking face to face first before asking her out on a date--OLD is quick. People want to know a lot of information in a short amount of time... if the information they're getting is inadequate for them to feel at ease, then they're going to take a pass on you because it looks like you've got something to hide if you can't answer simple questions about yourself. 2
TheFinalWord Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 I agree with you in a lot of ways. However, at the same time, I do think knowing some important information is helpful upfront to avoid wasting time. Especially regarding "what are you looking for." If you are wanting to find someone for a relationship/marriage and someone else is either unsure or just wants something casual, I'd rather know that upfront to avoid wasting time. For guys, we are generally the ones that have to pay for the dates at the beginning. If you go on 10 dates a month, with each date costing around $40 US, that quickly adds up. Especially, if a good 70% aren't even looking for what you are looking for. Where I do agree is the way these questions are asked. It can start to feel like a checklist. Some sites like Match have those items listed in the profile itself so you can search by those criteria. But I do prefer to do some pre-selection before meeting up to avoid wasting time. The meet-up should ideally about seeing if there is chemistry, and less about does this person meet my minimum standards. I would argue where most women fail with online dating is overuse of snapchat filtered pictures. Nothing is more disappointing than meeting up with someone only to find out they look nothing like they did in their pics 1
newyorker11356 Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 I would argue where most women fail with online dating is overuse of snapchat filtered pictures. Nothing is more disappointing than meeting up with someone only to find out they look nothing like they did in their pics This happened to me once and learned my lesson in just relying on all Snapchat pictures When I saw her in person, I knew there wouldn't be a 2nd date, no matter how compatible we were and/or how cool she was. Her pics and what she looked like in person was literally night and day. 1
TheFinalWord Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 I've had it happen multiple times. Two things to watch for: 1) No body shot? She's overweight. 2) Snapchat pics? Filtered. Remember those glamour pictures you could get in high school? You would see those pics and think "that girl doesn't look like that in real life!." Snapchat filtered pics are the same way. Basically glamour pics. The thing is, in real life some of these women looked just fine. But it was the fact they sold you on something that isn't really true and then you just get disappointed. You feel almost tricked. 1
crispytoast Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 This is definitely one of the most frustrating things about OLD. A few nights ago I started up an OLD account for the first time in easily 6+ months and had 5 matches in the first night (I've gotten pretty good at making a decent profile). But really I can't get past the interview ****. I'm significantly more charismatic in person and I'd much rather meet up and talk over some coffee or tea and see if we even have chemistry.
newyorker11356 Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 This is definitely one of the most frustrating things about OLD. A few nights ago I started up an OLD account for the first time in easily 6+ months and had 5 matches in the first night (I've gotten pretty good at making a decent profile). But really I can't get past the interview ****. I'm significantly more charismatic in person and I'd much rather meet up and talk over some coffee or tea and see if we even have chemistry. If you're interested, just ask them out quickly and exchange numbers and text minimally (just to coordinate and setup date plans).
Sunnydaysandsome Posted March 30, 2019 Posted March 30, 2019 There are some real weirdos online, I think I would ask questions. However I'd have the date in real life and not waste time on the texting.
RedHead5 Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 When I was brand new to OLD, I did that whole interview thing. After I got the hang of things I realized it sucked and only went for the ones with funny/sarcastic profiles (like my own) and only continued convo until it led to a meet up. Meet up, I would give about 3 days for them to ask me out. I would drop a hint or two if it seemed like it was going slow. Also, If we scheduled a meet up, it was a red flag to me if the guy immediately started texting morning and night to me. Like, I dont even know you yet, I'm not investing all that time and then meeting you and realizing there is zero chemistry. (Learned that lesson after a few bad dates.) Once I got the hang of things I enjoyed OLD for the most part.
Highndry Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 From what I have seen posted on here....most who use OLD are socially awkward, shy, inexperienced or nervous....and that's why the convos are not so great. They just don't know how to have an nice friendly conversation. So when you see that, you get put off and swipe left. I've only met a few women online and they were mentally ill. I don't have any interest in online dating whatsoever. If I can't meet a woman in person then I'm happy to stay single. At this point in my life, single's not so bad.
OatsAndHall Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 Many people that use OLD forget that the sites are designed to set up dates. Not to message back and forth to try and get to know one another via a poor medium like text. A profile piques my interest, I message them, (if) they respond, I ask them out in the initial conversation. If they ask to "get to know me" through messaging, then it's usually DOA at that point. I'll politely explain to them that they'd have a much better chance of getting to know me face to face and that I struggle with text as I'm sarcastic. Sometimes they agree to a date but most of the time they disappear. No harm no foul. If they pull out the "20 Questions" via text, I won't play along as I don't have time for a Match.com interview. If they come out with a bunch of questions in the first date, I don't generally mind as long as they're not too personal. I understand that they may have a difficult time making conversation and some harmless questions can help that process along. But, I won't be seeing them again if they ask me about my divorce, whether I want kids, etc..etc..
newyorker11356 Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 Many people that use OLD forget that the sites are designed to set up dates. Not to message back and forth to try and get to know one another via a poor medium like text. A profile piques my interest, I message them, (if) they respond, I ask them out in the initial conversation. If they ask to "get to know me" through messaging, then it's usually DOA at that point. I'll politely explain to them that they'd have a much better chance of getting to know me face to face and that I struggle with text as I'm sarcastic. Sometimes they agree to a date but most of the time they disappear. No harm no foul. If they pull out the "20 Questions" via text, I won't play along as I don't have time for a Match.com interview. If they come out with a bunch of questions in the first date, I don't generally mind as long as they're not too personal. I understand that they may have a difficult time making conversation and some harmless questions can help that process along. But, I won't be seeing them again if they ask me about my divorce, whether I want kids, etc..etc.. Weird how that seems to be a lot of people's experience. It's only happened to me maybe a couple of times, and I've matched and messaged with a lot of women from dating apps/sites. If I'm into the convo and it seems like it's flowing, I usually ask to exchange numbers and ask them out without fail. This can happen after a few to a dozen or so messages and on the same day (sometimes the next).
Tamfana Posted March 31, 2019 Posted March 31, 2019 If it's an irritant you're encountering a lot, put the information in your profile so women don't have to ask. It's similar to men wanting to see a body shot in profiles to see if she is overweight if that is a prerequisite for them. Just give the info at the outset, in your profile, and the interview or 20 questions is avoided.
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