mortensorchid Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 I was googling that age old question "where to meet guys" and came across another listing. I would like to evaluate this list for both the sake of evaluation as well as some humor ... And this was an article specifically written for women in case you didn't know ... 1) Send him a drink in a bar - You see a cute guy across the room and you (the woman) send him a drink. When he asks who sent this, the server is to point out you across the room and you give him a wave. 2) Standing in lines - We spend about 10% of our lives standing in lines someone once told me. So you say hello to someone in this line (grocery shopping check out, Starbucks, Chipotle, etc.) and then they get their order and you yours. 3) Volunteering - Many people do volunteer work for a variety of reasons. I have had good luck in doing so at theater companies, and yes you will meet guys there. Problem is that they're all gay. 4) Coffee shops - I have been in my fair share of coffee shops and you will say hello to a few people here and there in said coffee shops, be they chains like Starbucks or locals. See examples 1 and 2. 5) Dog walking - Take your dog to the local park and walk the dog there. You might meet others, in particular guys, who are walking their dogs as well. 6) Public transportation - Strike up a conversation with someone on a bus or subway. 7) Sporting events / sports bars - Guys like sports (duh!) so if you are in places where you are cheering for the same team you already have something in common. Maybe he'll actually talk to others rather than stare at the screen or the players on the field. 8) Acting class - See answer to Volunteering 9) Gym - Always a good place to interact with others, especially muscle studs. 10) Hobbies - Something in common like sports bars / events. 11) Vacation / traveling - Yes, you can meet others while on vacation or traveling and it's all good. 12) Fixing up - Don't be afraid to ask your friends to fix you up with someone. Evaluation? It's all so embarrassing. What if you chat with someone and then, that's that? They walk away or you to them and ... Nothing happens. Or what if you say something in the coffee shop line or grocery store like "What are you having today?" or even more bold "Want to split this cookie with me?" Rejection will always linger over like a bad smell, I can't deal with it. 1
Garcon1986 Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 As a single chap I would be seen at each of those things except 1 and 5 haha. Evaluation? It's all so embarrassing. What if you chat with someone and then, that's that? They walk away or you to them and ... Nothing happens. Or what if you say something in the coffee shop line or grocery store like "What are you having today?" or even more bold "Want to split this cookie with me?" Rejection will always linger over like a bad smell, I can't deal with it. I can't smell the last time I was rejected. The odor was washed away with my shampoo this morning. Conversation with all sorts of people is crucial so that once you have a really interesting bloke or lady in your life, you can grab the opportunity, and not be written off as some random shy person. 1
Happy Lemming Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 Evaluation? It's all so embarrassing. What if you chat with someone and then, that's that? They walk away or you to them and ... Nothing happens. Or what if you say something in the coffee shop line or grocery store like "What are you having today?" or even more bold "Want to split this cookie with me?" Rejection will always linger over like a bad smell, I can't deal with it. Welcome to being a guy... Rejection happens all the time for us. I don't take it personally, just let it roll off, like water off of a duck's back. No worries, go on to the next. If you don't chat with someone... 100% of the time, it will not go further. If you do chit-chat with someone, at least there is a chance. In my youth, I'd say I was rejected 90% - 95% of the time. Not a problem. Even if your percentage is lower, doesn't matter... Eventually you will find that lid to your pot. 2
chillii Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 (edited) Back when, l found just getting out and about with my everyday stuff to anywhere l felt like really encouraging. lt took time but after awhile l was amazed at the honeys and opportunities that started popping up. l also tried to make a point of getting out one day of the weekend to somewhere or other too. l wasn't really ready yet at the time , l was in a situation but if l was there was a one or two very special women l woud've talked to for sure and who knows, l still remember them. One in a shop we were looking at clothes and the other we were in a supermarket line. So l'd say while your looking for ideas meantime at least just start making a habit of just getting out and about , mix it up , feel good people really sense that stuff , andddd, never know. Edited March 26, 2019 by chillii
darkmoon Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 so a journalist wrote al that - but - we do not get told of her success rate, journos create stuff, so decide what move suits your personality my other prob is that unless he finds her attractive, all of them will fail
toomanyquestions123 Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 1) I can't do that, he will think i want to sleep with him. 2) I always thought about that, but imagine saying hello to someone and giving him a smile only for him to barely respond because let's suppose he is married. 3) Usually people who volunteer are young people or early twenties, so it is not the right place for me to find men. 4) I go to a Starbucks that I really like where a lot of men in their thirties go there to work, but i never knew how to approach or they never did. I will keep going there. Maybe I should start smiling at people more? 5) I have a cat. 6) Our transportation infrastructure sucks, so we all commute by cars. 7) i wish i lived in England lol. 8) ummm no. 9) I always go to the gym, never attracted guys there or never gave them the chance to. 10) hiking maybe, arts? 11) Met ex fiancé on a vacation. It ended drastically lol. 12) My circle is very small.
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 im sure there is always something a person can do to increase the possibilities of meeting new people and making a connection. the question is more so if your willing to do it. if not you have to be okay with the lost chances. and you really shouldnt complain if you choose not to do certain things to increase your chances. I am sure if I was more of a proactive flirt instead of reactive I would increase my chances. but I choose not to be a proactive flirt. I am not that proactively chatty at all. so I am patient when it comes to the length of time in between a guy trying to hit on me. kinda have to be if you choose not to do the most in getting a connection lol. but your also not going to catch me on here complaining about why I am single. I know exactly why lmao. at the end of the day its either your going to do something about it to increase your chances or your not. I agree with chili that even if your not the type to be all chatty it is still good to get out the house more. I personally would just get out the house doing things I like/love to do or is curious about. I wouldnt do things just to meet men if you have truly no interest in it. if you love to do something inside the house see if you can do it in a more public setting and even better a social setting just to increase your chances. I like to zumba inside the house so im thinking about doing a zumba class. may not meet a guy you want to date in zumba class but if its within a gym or rec center you would meet a guy or if that place has a drink machine or cafe...you get the point. now whether you choose to proactively be social or not is up to you. personally im not proactively social usually unless I have to be (volleyball league, gameboard/card game meetups, etc).
FMW Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 I strike up conversations with strangers in a lot of different circumstances, most of the time NOT with an eye to flirting. It almost always makes me feel more positive about life in general and it's good practice to keep you feeling at ease when you DO eventually strike up a conversation with someone you are interested in. It also lessens the anxiety about rejection, whether it happens or not. I consider myself an introvert in that I need a lot of time on my own to recharge my batteries, but when I am "charged" then I find I really do enjoy interacting with people of all types and it does make me feel more positive about everything in general. So yes, the list is kind of humorous BUT it does have some ideas worth considering
alphamale Posted March 26, 2019 Posted March 26, 2019 wow you've really got this figured out mortensorchid
basil67 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 It's not embarrassing to have a chat result in nothing other than a nice bit of interaction. There are a lot of lonely people out there, and a friendly chat can brighten someone's day. I chat with strangers all the time and it's never occurred to be to be embarrassed about it. 1
introverted1 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 I wouldn't be so literal about the list. I think the over-arching idea is to be out there, doing your thing, but at the same time smiling and being open to interacting with other people. I can't tell you how many times I've talked to people in line at the grocery store and, yes, some of them happened to be eligible men. Also, if you are going to write people off before you've met them -- all guys working in theater are gay, all guys at the gym are muscle studs -- then there is no technique that will work. The whole idea behind the list (imo) is to be open to talking to people wherever you encounter them. Maybe set a goal for yourself that, each day, you will smile and say hello to 5 people you don't know (they don't all have to be men). You'd be surprised at how far a smile and a genuinely open and curious nature will take you. 1
Interstellar Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 (edited) Aren’t you the one who wants to get into online gaming to meet guys? I went to my very first comic book convention last year. I’m a geek I know, I had a blast. There are tons of guys there, if you’re into geek and smart. But there are really super nerdy dudes there too lol, and women in cosplay for us. If you’re a single woman who’s still looking and in your 40’s and above who’s tired of online dating, then you really have to learn to be assertive in real life. Otherwise, you’re just doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Edited March 27, 2019 by Interstellar
Shining One Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Rejection will always linger over like a bad smell, I can't deal with it.I disagree. Like anything else, you can learn to deal with it. I used to take every rejection personally, much like you do. Over time, they stopped bothering me. I developed the mindset: It doesn't matter if thousands of women reject me, there are always thousands more.
Interstellar Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Welcome to being a guy... Rejection happens all the time for us. I don't take it personally, just let it roll off, like water off of a duck's back. No worries, go on to the next. Yep, men never really get enough credit from women in this dating dance. We’re the ones who have to approach the woman, strike up a conversation, get the number, ask her out, set up the date, and through all this mating dance we’re risking rejection every step of the way. And they wonder why men have fragile egos. If you’re the one who has to risk rejection every step of the way you will start to have a fragile ego too. A lot of them just stand there passively waiting or they try it once and get rejected and they give up. They say to their gf’s “I tried approaching a man once and I’m not doing it anymore.” Nowadays, that start to change with the younger women. A little bit but a little bit is always good I’ve been asked out by the 21-25 year olds, man those babes are go getters I’m telling you. if those hotties can why can’t you? What’s stopping you? 1
ShyLove Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 Go to the gas station LOL I have never been hit on more in my life than at the gas station, especially while putting air in my tire. Many of them were good looking although I may have found other issues down the line haha but that's the chance you take when dating. Also, do you live in a smaller town? I am from a smaller town (now in a city) but it was so hard for me to meet new people in my hometown even in my 20s bc ppl got married to their high school sweethearts & there weren't ever new people in town bc no one really wanted to move there. So I took a job as a barista in a near by college town and that opened up lots more opportunity. I think volunteering or joining a walking/workout group could help. Maybe you could start your own??? Just some ideas 2
Simple Logic Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 The latest place I was at where I would try to meet a date was Whole Foods on Friday evening. Lots of singles drinking wine and pushing empty grocery carts. Maybe they weren’t there for food. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 I disagree. Like anything else, you can learn to deal with it. I used to take every rejection personally, much like you do. Over time, they stopped bothering me. I developed the mindset: It doesn't matter if thousands of women reject me, there are always thousands more. I disagree with your disagree lol. I am with morten on rejection. I have zero desire to ever experience that type of rejection of approaching a guy and him say "not interested". Even if I logically can assume my success rate would probably be 98%. I rather not experience it at all even if there is a high chance that I will get way more favorable responses. Is that a crying shame? Yesh. Does that motivate me to want to do it. Nope. I guess if it ever gets to the point that guys stop approaching and I get too tired of being alone and online dating doesn't pan out maybe I'll start throwing myself at men if I get desperate enough
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 I read this on quora by a person named iz ryu and died laughing. Thought y'all may enjoy in this thread. "It's been a little over a year now since I’ve been in a relationship. I’m not in a relationship because I’m too lazy to find people. My lazy ass is waiting for someone to find me. And this is why I’m not in a relationship. Because I simply don’t care enough to go looking." :lmao: 1
BC1980 Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 Meeting someone is often random luck. That's how it's always happened for me. It does get more difficult as you get older. In college, it was so easy. I always had guys interested in me, and I was always interested in some guy. It's just so easy at that age for most people. The older you get, people are either married or bitter from a divorce. The last time I went on a date, the guy talked about his divorce. I don't really know how to meet people. I don't go to bars, so that's out. I've done online dating, and I met a guy with a girlfriend. So no success there.
fieldoflavender Posted April 1, 2019 Posted April 1, 2019 You can hit on random people but they may be married with 2 children - ok I suppose maybe a ring should be there. But I guess you could also hit on someone with a long term girlfriend/boyfriend, and that would be awkward too. And rando's are better to hook-ups rather than anything long term.
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