hooked up with this guy and never heard from him again?

[parkerbrook]

I met this guy when I went out on friday night and as soon as we started talking we really hit it off. as soon as I saw him I thought he was really cute, and we talked for an hour. eventually the place was closing and he ended up inviting me over to his place so I went. which is crazy, I have never done that before and didn't think I would EVER go home with a guy I just met. he was actually a really nice guy and seemed really solid, unlike a ton of other guys just trying to flirt and comlpiment me just to pick me up.. he seemed like a super genuine guy. idk if that sounds weird, but I can just tell the difference with guys.

 

we did hook up up when we got to his place, and laid in his bed and talked about personal stuff until like 4:30-5 in the morning (he told me his last gf of 3 years cheated on him and how it messed him up). when I finally was going home, waiting for my cab he picked me up and put me on his lap and kissed me, and made sure I let him know I got home safe. he also told me to "keep my phone on during the ride just incase anything weird or unsafe happened" which i thought was cute. all night he was saying kinda cute things like that. he also asked if he could see me again, which I said of course.

 

that was on friday, and I haven't heard from him since.. it's monday now. I kinda thought he would have reached out to me by now. :/ I did really like him and he seemed to really like me. I was thinking of reaching out to him tomorrow, should I? or should I just let it go :/ just kind of confused I guess cause he seemed really into me, and even asked if he could see me again...

[frus69]

whats wrong with texting him? Just be fun and lighthearted.

He is casual and you are casual so texting is casual and what's the big deal

[Lotsgoingon]

Guy thinking: He isn't sure he wants to date you ... but doesn't know how to call you and say he spent an enjoyable night ... without feeling like he's committing to more.

 

Definitely reach out to him if you had a really good time. Nothing desperate about that.

[bmh]

If he wants to see you again he will ask. If you’re dead set on contacting him, that would be the one and only time I would. If he responds, great! But I wouldn’t allow myself to be the initiator everytime. If he doesn’t respond, leave it alone, he told you what he needed to in order to get you into bed.

[mortensorchid]

Hmmm ... Sounds like he just got what he wanted (a hook up) and then is walking away from it. Nothing wrong with sending a text but don't hold your breath. He's not that into you.

[BaileyB]

There is nothing wrong with hooking up on the first date, if that’s what you want to do. And there is nothing wrong with texting a guy or initiating conversation...

 

Perhaps, he was waiting for a text from you to let him know that you enjoyed yourself Friday night. I would always send a text like this after every date - just, floating it out there that I enjoyed the date so that he would feel comfortable asking me out again...

 

But parkerbrook, I would really like to encourage you to do more due diligence and require more of the guys you date. Your last boyfriend, this guy who you knew for an hour before you had sex... they are not required to demonstrate to you that they are good guys, worthy of your time and attention. Just saying...take your time, get to know these guys and make sure they are going to treat you well before you get too involved. Perhaps, you need to require a little more...

Edited March 26, 2019 by BaileyB

[Inspire]

If he was really into you, I am surprised he hasn't called or texted you since Friday night ... You said you "hooked up", but did you have sex?

 

 

 

I would have expected him to say something, even if it was a simple "I can't stop thinking about the other night, or when can we do this again". I'd chalk it up to lesson learned that if you hookup with someone on a first date that it doesn't always lead to a second date.

[Soulinfected]

Just text him, like now. Say you had a great night and you want to see him again. Do it!

[ExpatInItaly]

I met this guy when I went out on friday night and as soon as we started talking we really hit it off. as soon as I saw him I thought he was really cute, and we talked for an hour. eventually the place was closing and he ended up inviting me over to his place so I went. which is crazy, I have never done that before and didn't think I would EVER go home with a guy I just met. he was actually a really nice guy and seemed really solid, unlike a ton of other guys just trying to flirt and comlpiment me just to pick me up.. he seemed like a super genuine guy. idk if that sounds weird, but I can just tell the difference with guys.

 

OP, not to put too fine a point on it but...you are basing all of this on what, exactly? A few hours? It is impossible to know on the first meeting what type of person someone is, good or bad. A lot of people make the mistake of believing they can "read" a stranger when really, they have no clue who the person actually is.

 

He might be a great dude. Or he might be a total chump who knows just what to say to get women to come with him. Time will tell which of the two he is.

 

As the others have suggested, if you want to satisfy your curiosity, go ahead and send him a message. if you don't get a reply, or not the reply you wanted, then at least you won't be wasting any more time wondering about him.

[bmh]

^^^^^^^^Right!? People thought Ted Bundy was a genuine guy too.....you just never know what someone’s true intentions are.

[toomanyquestions123]

Call me traditional... but even the most open minded guy loses interest quick when he sleeps with a girl very quickly. This is not a "friends with benefits" movie, this is real life. Sometimes it works, but most of the times, it doesn't.

[TheFinalWord]

I've tried saying that so many times. Seems to fall on deaf ears

 

 

OP, the deep stuff he told you about was an ex? Sounds like he's going to use that as an excuse for why he's "not sure how he feels" "feels confused" to blow you off or jerk you around.

 

 

The reason he was able to get through your defense is he knows how to run game.

[stillafool]

Why is everyone assuming that he somewhat just used her for sex when she wanted it as much as him that is why she went to his place and got in his bed. Why would he now be the bad guy because he enjoyed mutual sex with a young woman but is not looking for anything more?

 

OP, stop thinking that just because a guy makes sure that you arrive home safely is a sign that he is into you. It could be as simple as he's protecting his own arse or just has good manners. Nothing more.

Edited March 26, 2019 by stillafool

[smackie9]

Even when they are at their best behavior, doesn't mean their intentions are different than some player. Guys will do or say anything to get laid...even if it means acting like a true gentleman. If it sounds too good to be true, then it is...this guy was on overkill. Keep on the line just in case something weird happens lol zowie that's a new one. He was just fluffin up yer pillow hun, to make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

[DaddyDom]

Some judgemental people assuming fast sex equals being discarded. I know people that have been married 10+ years who had sex on the first date.

 

But I will say that as a gentleman first and foremost, a girl gets a call the next day after first time sex. The worst thing in the world is to leave a woman hanging who made herself vulnerable like that.

 

Now obviously ONS have been known to happen and I think both people know on a subconscious level. However the way the OP describes, doesn't sound like typical ONS behavior. I mean pretty personal/deep pillow talk.

[bmh]

ONS is fine. Sex on the first date is fine. Ghosting after a first date is fine.

 

Somehow believing you know someone is “genuine” and “really good guy” after one encounter is living in fantasy land.

[Purepony]

Hmmm ... Sounds like he just got what he wanted (a hook up) and then is walking away from it. Nothing wrong with sending a text but don't hold your breath. He's not that into you.

 

 

 

Yup

On point

 

Don’t waste your time he just wants to pound so if you want to do the same contact him and you’ll have a sex only relationship otherwise go away and he will text you in a few weeks or months down the line when he wants to pound you again

[BaileyB]

Some judgemental people assuming fast sex equals being discarded. I know people that have been married 10+ years who had sex on the first date.

 

So do I. But, considering that she hasn’t heard anything from this guy since they had sex, it may well mean that this situation isn’t going to turn out that way...

[Tristian]

Folks, let's keep our focus on aiding the OP and save our opinions on first date sex for one of the general topic threads.

[chillii]

Call me traditional... but even the most open minded guy loses interest quick when he sleeps with a girl very quickly. This is not a "friends with benefits" movie, this is real life. Sometimes it works, but most of the times, it doesn't.

 

 

l'd love to call you traditional haha , l'm old school no doubt about it. But anyway l'm glad you said it this time l think they'll kick me outa here soon if l keep sayin it.

but yep sorry op, you only knew him a few hours next minute your in bed with him, so many threads here same story.

[Curious-One]

Call me traditional... but even the most open minded guy loses interest quick when he sleeps with a girl very quickly. This is not a "friends with benefits" movie, this is real life. Sometimes it works, but most of the times, it doesn't.

 

Thank You I cant believe girls dont understand this...

 

 

NO MATTER how much i like the girl initially if she sleeps with me few hours after i meet her I AM GOING TO THINK that she has done this with other guys as well and my slut radar will be tingling causing my attraction for the girl to go down. Its not something i can help either...do i really want to date someone seriously and potentially marry a women that used to give up the goods to guys after only few hours. Do i really want that to be the mother to my children ???

 

Even if he did really like you sleeping with him few hours after meeting greatly reduced your chances for a serious relationship.

 

 

Op i suggest you send him a text and if he doesnt respond just learn from this and next time dont be so quick to give up the goods.

Edited March 31, 2019 by Curious-One