ExpatInItaly Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 OP, even if you don't give a crap about her boyfriend, you're missing the point. The point is that you can't take her seriously, if she is in fact flirting with you. Let's say you hook up - then what? She still goes home to her boyfriend. You become her office plaything. Something tells me you won't deal with it well, knowing you are in some unspoken competition with another guy (ie. her boyfriend) Doesn't sound worth it, unless your ego can handle being a side-piece to her boyfriend. Based on what you've written, it can't. 2
preraph Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 For all you know, her bf could also be a LEO somewhere, too. There is one more possibility here, and that is that the woman is a suckup. There are still even in 2019 women out there who climb by flirting with or pumping up their superiors and making them feel special. Now, that may not sound that bad to you, as it doesn't to most suckers -- men, but the couple of those I've known are some of the lowest people I've ever know, ruthless, uncaring users. I think maybe you need to call her out sometime when she does something you feel is overtly flirtatious and drill down in a serious manner and say, Why did you say that? Something going on here I need to know about, or something like that. If she is just gratuitously flirting, it overall makes you look bad (no matter how bad you want to get in her uniform) to everyone in the office, and as you know, everyone notices. So you better be sure you know where she's coming from and honestly, demand some respect from her. To others, this may look like she's new but she's come in and walking all over you. Keep your training and ethics intact here. No shenanigans.
Author Juggernut23 Posted March 28, 2019 Author Posted March 28, 2019 As a woman in law enforcement gotta say it's, in a way, actually embarrassing that you call yourself a cop & can't figure out how to handle this. How the freaking heck do you deal with criminals when visual cues can say far more than words if you can't handle your own colleague? So let me be blunt, boyo, you better tell this girl to knock her behaviour off. She is in a committed relationship. Such - her behaviour & you sitting back/encouraging it - does not speak highly of either of your morals & professionalism and it very likely will come back to bite you in the arse. Seriously don't be surprised if your colleagues are already laughing about either of you behind your backs. Thanks B Sad, isn’t it? Criminals are easy work..women, not so much
elaine567 Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 Thanks B Sad, isn’t it? Criminals are easy work..women, not so much Women are easy, you just need to read the cues correctly. " Our convos are never suggestive or flirty in nature. Not just with me, with other dudes too..she’s not flirty or suggestive, just a really social fun person. " She is in a relationship and she isn't flirting or being suggestive with you or anyone else. What do you think that means? 1
kendahke Posted March 29, 2019 Posted March 29, 2019 Criminals are easy work..women, not so much No. Not at all. That's the lie you tell yourself when you refuse to see what is in front of you. Nowhere did you write that she is in any way remotely interested in you--but you want to see what you want to see (and that makes me question any report you've ever written) and insist that she's open to your advances when there is nothing grounded in reality upon which to build that construct. But thanks for giving us a window into what is really going on.
Author Juggernut23 Posted March 30, 2019 Author Posted March 30, 2019 No. Not at all. That's the lie you tell yourself when you refuse to see what is in front of you. Nowhere did you write that she is in any way remotely interested in you--but you want to see what you want to see (and that makes me question any report you've ever written) and insist that she's open to your advances when there is nothing grounded in reality upon which to build that construct. But thanks for giving us a window into what is really going on. Hmmm yeah maybe
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