Author Soulinfected Posted March 27, 2019 Author Posted March 27, 2019 I value everyone's input here. I've sent her a message asking how her week has been. I'll post here the result when I've asked her out again. I've been rejected a lot, by the last few women I've dated since October last year - I usually make it a few dates in before they realize they're not interested. I have done the rejecting myself too though, I just wish the women I've dated were as straight forward as me. I guess women have a lot more to worry about with reactions to rejection, as men tend to take it as a blow to their ego. 2
BC1980 Posted March 27, 2019 Posted March 27, 2019 I'd go ahead and ask her out again. Otherwise, she won't think you are interested.
Versacehottie Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 I value everyone's input here. I've sent her a message asking how her week has been. I'll post here the result when I've asked her out again. I've been rejected a lot, by the last few women I've dated since October last year - I usually make it a few dates in before they realize they're not interested. I have done the rejecting myself too though, I just wish the women I've dated were as straight forward as me. I guess women have a lot more to worry about with reactions to rejection, as men tend to take it as a blow to their ego. I think you are hoping for something (bolded above)^^^^ as an ANSWER, a yes/no thing rather than a PROCESS. "Straightforward" implies that you think they "know" whether or not they like you and want to proceed and just haven't divulged it to you yet. It's a much different perspective to have than one in which you believe that what and how you input information about yourself and what it would be like to spend time with you FORMS her opinion of wanting to proceed. I can see why if you believe there is a straightforward answer to give and you just haven't been given it YET why it would change your approach of one of passivity (as waiting is a passive act). Try to take the different perspective that what you do impacts whether she wants to continue to date you and her impression of you---this thinking hopefully should have you willing to take more ACTIVE steps to show her multi-dimensional you and be less one note if that makes sense. More layers to how you approach dating and from more angles etc. Be more playful, less linear. The goal is to have a good time and make a good connection, not to hope for that once she agrees to date you. If you show more of that upfront, I'll bet you will get better results. I.e. I'm guessing you are too straightforward (not FORWARD like pushy, more like dull/dry--sorry--that you don't inject enough personality, connection--which you seem to have a good one here so it's just a matter of showing it more Good luck!
fred123 Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 I agree 100%. I read OP's very first post in this thread and it immediately read as bland and passive behavior. It's one thing to be respectful and a gentleman, but waiting for her to text or make plans, etc. isn't going to get you the girl. I would be turned off by a guy who was passive about pursuing me. You gotta go for it 100%. Waiting for sex is understandable, 4th date making out, normal in my eyes, if I'm REALLY into a guy sex happens within the first couple weeks and I've had long term relationships come of those. I don't think you should second guess your desire to have sex on the 4th date. My bf is a total gentleman but he made it very clear he wanted me that early on. I knew within two weeks of dating him it was going to happen very soon. If I'm blah about a guy and he's passive, I'm not going to be interested in having sex with him or even talking/texting much. To me, it reads she's not feeling the heat. You have to turn it up yourself if you like her. Go for it!! i have a question. knowing this information "if im really into a guy i will have sex with him within 2 weeks" what happens if you arent really into him? also if im dating you and you dont sleep with me within 2 weeks i know you arent really into me so why shall i bother continuing after 2 weeks? i want to be the guy you are really i to and i think thats fair
Iris The Butterfly Posted March 28, 2019 Posted March 28, 2019 i have a question. knowing this information "if im really into a guy i will have sex with him within 2 weeks" what happens if you arent really into him? also if im dating you and you dont sleep with me within 2 weeks i know you arent really into me so why shall i bother continuing after 2 weeks? i want to be the guy you are really i to and i think thats fair All I’m saying that if I’m hot for a guy I’m not going to want to wait too long to have sex with him. It’s not a matter of waiting two weeks or five dates. If I’m not feeling it with someone I generally don’t date them for long. If I am I will probably have sex with them in the earlier stages. Nothing wrong with waiting. I’m not saying all bets are off after two weeks. I just mean that a person usually knows pretty early on if they want to sleep with someone and in my personal experience sex happened within the first couple weeks with men I’ve been really into and vice Versa. I dated a guy for 6 weeks or so once until we had sex and I was feeling very lukewarm and not crazy attracted. I liked his company and thought he was a nice guy so I waited for the spark to ignite. It never did.
Author Soulinfected Posted March 28, 2019 Author Posted March 28, 2019 Well, my assumptions were correct. She messaged me this morning saying she doesn't see it going anywhere and doesn't want to waste any more of my time. I responded with no problem.
Recommended Posts