bunnygrl07 Posted September 21, 2005 Posted September 21, 2005 Last month my boyfriend of 4 years and I had a little scare. I was pretty sure the delayed bleeding was due to my increased physical activity as well as mental stress, but it did not keep either of us from wondering if it might be something more. I did test myself on the first day of lateness, just to be sure. Years ago we had decided what our plan of action would be if it were to come up positive. Regardless, we both had a sigh of relief when the crimson wave showed up. Since then we haven't had sex once. I just thought it was because we were both busy, so I set up a date for us at home. It included dinner, dessert, a little wine, and a movie. We went to bed and nothing happened, even after I tried to iniciate (sp?). The next day I brought it up and he said we was freaked out after the almost oops from last month. Seeing as how I don't feel like being abstinate until I'm ready to have kids, how do I help him get over this?
phyrespryte Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 wow... I was in a similar situation except the day after I found out I wasn't pregnant my boyfriend was all over me. He pissed me off so much that day. So I guess I can't really give any tips on how to get your man all into it again. But you do use birth control right? Because if you do I don't really understand what he's still scared about.
RecordProducer Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 If your period is regular (28 days) you can almost count on you ovulating on the 14th day. A few days earlier and a few days later are also "dangerous" so in a combination with a condom (and abstinence, as much as possible, during the fertile days), you should be protected. I assume you know about the after-sex pill that you can take if a condom blows. However if you don't like condoms,the pill is the best contraception. It's actually 100% sure if you really take it on time and don't have diarrhea or vomit 4 hours after taking the pill. Unfortunately, the pill and condom are the only contraception methods that are relatively safe so you don't have much choice.
Author bunnygrl07 Posted September 22, 2005 Author Posted September 22, 2005 Yeah, I'm well versed in the contraception methods. They don't work 100% though. My periods are pretty regular. I always know when it's coming b/c I cramp for about a week before. This time the cramping was very faint and the period came late. Years ago when we started dating we already established a plan of action if I were to get pregnant. Dealing with that would just be a reall bummer. Now how do I get him back in bed?
Hotdiggitydammit Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 Somehow I finally realized what an idiot. I should have looked at the calendar. My dumb arse!
d'Arthez Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 My periods are pretty regular. I always know when it's coming b/c I cramp for about a week before. Is this not after ovulating? So you only may have a clue that you might be pregnant, after you have an indication that you are going / not going to have a period? In short, this "knowledge" is knowledge after the act - and safe sex or abstinence will not prevent a pregnancy anymore. Actually the 14 days is not true for all women who have a 28 days cycle. There have been means devised how you can find out when you are ovulating, but of course 100% certainty cannot be attained. Now how do I get him back in bed? That may be hard. Because of the shock of the possible pregnancy, he will be a bit shaken. Especially if the two of you practiced sex without using any means of contra-ception. Whether it is condoms, the pill or anything else. Irregardless, he will feel he just got lucky, but he may feel that it is just a matter of time before you get pregnant, if you keep continuing like this. And that takes a lot of responsibility to deal with - financial and emotional. Right now, he may be considering the impact that would have on him, and the two of you. Formal agreements from a grey past may have been made, but that does not mean that he still thinks of them as the panacea.
Lil Honey Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 Bunnygrl07: About the only way you can be sure that there is no failure rate with birth control is to use more than one: a condom and gel, BCP and gel, BCP and condom, whatever. BUT, you need to discuss birth control with your doctor, get all the facts and decide with your doctor what is best for you. Talk about it with your boyfriend, especially if he is going to be partially responsible for birth control. Once he realizes that two forms will be used, he may be more at ease with it.
RecordProducer Posted September 22, 2005 Posted September 22, 2005 If you take it exactly as prescribed, then its effectiveness is likely to be 100 per cent. Put it another way: let’s say that 100 women use the Pill for a year, and that all of them never forget to take the little tablet. It is likely that not a single one of them will get pregnant. In contrast, if they were all relying on the condom instead, then probably about five of them would become pregnant. And if they used no contraception at all, then at least 20 of them would fall pregnant! http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptivepills.htm
d'Arthez Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 First of all, you are quoting an article. Could make that a bit more obvious. I didn't suggest anything about BC pill. I copy/pasted two paragraphs from a web site and I posted the link to it as well! The web site is a medical one and the statements were made by competent doctors!!! Second of all, you are suggesting that these are facts - hiding behind authors of a popular article does not mean that you are not suggesting anything. If I would write "Hitler was a bad man", I am suggesting that he is indeed a bad man. To refuse to take credit for that statement would be cowardly. The keyword in your previous post is likely. No method of contraception (barring sterilization) is 100% safe. And you could have devised a means for OP to find out when she is ovulating. By no means it is a safe assumption to think that it will be on the 14th day of her period - especially if she is not / barely uses contraception period outside the (assumed) fertile week.
hotgurl Posted September 23, 2005 Posted September 23, 2005 yeah no method is 100% but I have been having sex nd using bc for 10 years and have yet to have an oops.
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