SugarLips72 Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 I’m not sure if this is the right section for this. Yes I’m too old to be hooking up but it’s been a while but had a guy over at my house the other night. We met 2 years ago our kids go to the same schools and our daughters played on the same soccer team. He’s cute and I’ve always kinda liked him. He’s a little younger I think he’s 38. Our schedules finally lined up one night where neither of us had our kids, were not seeing anyone so I invited him over when he got off work. He works nights but he got off at 11 and came over. He looked good as usual. We had a drink and talked. He kissed me. Kiss was just meh I did notice he is not great at it but I figured he’s over and sex was on the agenda so we went upstairs and started undressing. Basically intercourse didn’t happen. After I was done going down on him he lost his erection. He also seemed to not be interested in doing any real foreplay. He didn’t go down on me and I have to wonder why. I’m in good shape very well groomed and trimmed down there. He was embarrassed at the loss of erection and apologized I told him it was ok not a big deal. I’m not sure if he was tired but I didn’t want him to feel bad. He eventually got dressed and left. So it was just kinda awkward. Obviously we’re not compatible for whatever reason but the whole thing was kind of awkward
losangelena Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Well, at least now you know! Sex is sometimes super awkward. He doesn’t really seem like a stellar powerhouse in bed or anything, so it doesn’t seem like you’re missing much. Guys who don’t go down are, in my opinion, a waste of time (from a sexual perspective). I wouldn’t give it a second thought.
preraph Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 I think he just has ED. What we don't know is if it is occasional or what, but once a guy loses it, sometimes they just hide from you because of embarrassment. He probably knew he wasn't getting hard and that's partly why the foreplay and stuff wasn't that inspiring, because he was already worried about it. I don't know what to tell you about pursuing him. I would just say be friendly next time you see him and don't tell friends what happened out of respect for him. 1
Author SugarLips72 Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 I’m no longer interested In him at all but I plan on being friendly and polite to him. The last thing I want to do is make him feel bad. He works second shift so I never see him at our kids schools. Even if I did I would be friendly and say hello. I think he just has ED. What we don't know is if it is occasional or what, but once a guy loses it, sometimes they just hide from you because of embarrassment. He probably knew he wasn't getting hard and that's partly why the foreplay and stuff wasn't that inspiring, because he was already worried about it. I don't know what to tell you about pursuing him. I would just say be friendly next time you see him and don't tell friends what happened out of respect for him. 1
Author SugarLips72 Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 I totally agree. Thanks Well, at least now you know Sex is sometimes super awkward. He doesn’t really seem like a stellar powerhouse in bed or anything, so it doesn’t seem like you’re missing much. Guys who don’t go down are, in my opinion, a waste of time (from a sexual perspective). I wouldn’t give it a second thought.
chillii Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) God almighty you sure don't mind ahhh, sharing as they call it do ya. He's not interested, pretty simple. That's why people do this stuff , they aren't interested in more , and that means they're only even mildly interested in sleeping with you anyway and that would be mainly just because your there. Him , he was def' very mild about you , probably hardly even that so as soon as anything started he basically started to just not feel good about any of it and began turning off. Most people can't do this stuff , no surprises , he just tried to force it and use it because you were there on a plate basically. Edited March 23, 2019 by chillii
preraph Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Sugar, sorry this turned out to be a disappointment, but cheer up, because there are a billion other men out there. If you have any trouble meeting them in real life, take up a sport, be it golf, bowling, ping pong, darts, pool, softball league, anything where you can interact and get to know in a more natural way.
TheFinalWord Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Again, ED is a PHYSICAL limitation. This guy has a psychological hang-up. He does not have ED. I can't tell if this is just some way older women are trying to stop younger women from dating middle-aged men, but a lot of guys need time to warm up to a woman. Also if they like you, it can throw them off if you want just sex, because we've been trained to believe those women aren't GF material.
preraph Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 I think for practical purposes, all that doesn't matter except to the person who isn't functioning. Inadequacy is inadequacy, and it nearly always involves both psychological (mainly) and rare is just a physical abnormality. If a guy is a puritan, then he shouldn't be trying to have sex with a woman on the first date or two and should just leave and stop contacting.
TheFinalWord Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 I think for practical purposes, all that doesn't matter except to the person who isn't functioning. Inadequacy is inadequacy, and it nearly always involves both psychological (mainly) and rare is just a physical abnormality. If a guy is a puritan, then he shouldn't be trying to have sex with a woman on the first date or two and should just leave and stop contacting. I wouldn't call this guy a puritan. If the timing was right, there would be no issues. It's a big difference. A guy with ED cannot physically get an erection even when he's aroused psychologically. Massive difference. It was the same thing as her, where she wasn't into it, but went along with it anyway because they were there. She didn't orgasm, so that means she's a puritan? OP, I think you can always tell by the kiss. If the kiss is bleh, the sex will be the same.
preraph Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 I don't think he was a puritan either, but that excuse of her being too fast seems puritanical to me. I just think he has occasional erection problems. You know, it's usually NOT 100 percent of the time. They wouldn't keep trying if they didn't have occasional success and all guys have a "downturn" once in a while, which is normal. This one, the biggest issue is he didn't follow up and that is just one reason it might have been. It could be something else entirely, of course. But she's given up on him and is going to move on, so that's good.
grays Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 God almighty you sure don't mind ahhh, sharing as they call it do ya. Are you saying her post is too personal and explicit? That’s true of many, many posts here at LS, but you don’t call them all out, or any of them that I recall. He's not interested, pretty simple. That's why people do this stuff , they aren't interested in more , and that means they're only even mildly interested in sleeping with you anyway and that would be mainly just because your there. Him , he was def' very mild about you , probably hardly even that so as soon as anything started he basically started to just not feel good about any of it and began turning off. Most people can't do this stuff , no surprises , he just tried to force it and use it because you were there on a plate basically. Some or all of this might be true, but there’s nowhere near enough information here for you to know. And if there’s not some definitive evidence of it it seems gratuitously mean. It is at least as likely, given what we know, that he’s been struggling with unreliable erections and is embarrassed that O.P. saw it and just wanted to slink away and hide. 1
Highndry Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 I love guys like this - they make women never want to let me go. For the life of me, I don't understand what he was thinking. Equipment malfunction? TAKE CARE OF HER ANOTHER WAY. 1
Highndry Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 Well, at least now you know! Sex is sometimes super awkward. He doesn’t really seem like a stellar powerhouse in bed or anything, so it doesn’t seem like you’re missing much. Guys who don’t go down are, in my opinion, a waste of time (from a sexual perspective). I wouldn’t give it a second thought. There's such a thing? Really?
smackie9 Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 Crappy at kissing is a strong indicator to not go any further. 2
Simple Logic Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 Old quote, “sometimes it takes courage to give in to temptation”. Sound like your guy wasn’t very courageous.
losangelena Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 There's such a thing? Really? You’re joking, right?
Highndry Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 You’re joking, right? No, I'm not joking. I am a guy and I honestly had no idea there are guys who won't go down on women. That is news to me.
losangelena Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 No, I'm not joking. I am a guy and I honestly had no idea there are guys who won't go down on women. That is news to me. Well, be glad you're not a person with a vagina, then! Lucky, you don't have to deal with them.
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