healing light Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 (edited) Alright, I have not read all of the responses but I have something to say once hearing he was very fit and all muscles. A lot of men in the body building community like to stack supplements. One of these is called the ECA stack (or whatever) and it's when they put ephedrine, caffeine, and aspirin together to help aid in weight loss/give them a super cut look. They get the ephedrine many times in the form of bronkaid. Anyway, the ephedrine can give them delayed ejaculation. So they can go 40, 50, 60 minutes, etc. without ejaculating. Some can't ejaculate at all. It has nothing to do with you. Some men don't put two and two together but it's a thing. Just letting you know in case you see a lot of supplements in his cabinet. My friends and I have had personal experiences with this. Once they get off of them, they are able to climax within a "normal" fashion again. I'm not saying this is his issue, but I wouldn't rule it out, either. I believe some anti-depressant meds can also have a similar effect on men, as well. Edited March 24, 2019 by healing light
losangelena Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 Still no text back… I was with my mom’s boyfriend yesterday and I asked where you was and I was told that he is in Columbia with some chick… Well, I think there’s your answer.
basil67 Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 (edited) Yep. I still think he figured you'd know it was just a casual thing. Edited to add: with all due respect to your mom, she sounds kinda naive to be encouraging you. And given the latest update, how did she not know that her partner's best mate likes to play around? Edited March 24, 2019 by basil67 1
TheFinalWord Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 (edited) Alright, I have not read all of the responses but I have something to say once hearing he was very fit and all muscles. A lot of men in the body building community like to stack supplements. One of these is called the ECA stack (or whatever) and it's when they put ephedrine, caffeine, and aspirin together to help aid in weight loss/give them a super cut look. They get the ephedrine many times in the form of bronkaid. Sorry, but I've been a bodybuilder for 20 years and this isn't the case at all. If anything ECA stack makes you more sexually sensitive. ECA speeds up your metabolism, but it doesn't interfere with sexual performance. If anything, it staves off fatigue due to the boost of energy and you'll perform better. You may want to give it a try Ephedrine-Activated Physiological Sexual Arousal in Women This guy's issue is psychological. Women may not believe this, but not all men are wired to want to bang right out of the bat. A lot of men need time to feel comfortable around a woman. Edited March 24, 2019 by TheFinalWord 1
BaileyB Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 Yep. I still think he figured you'd know it was just a casual thing. Edited to add: with all due respect to your mom, she sounds kinda naive to be encouraging you. And given the latest update, how did she not know that her partner's best mate likes to play around? Exactly this. Not sure why she was encouraging you to consider a man old enough to be your father, especially if she knew that he likes to play the field. 1
basil67 Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 At least you know. Use it as a learning experience and move on.
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 24, 2019 Author Posted March 24, 2019 At least you know. Use it as a learning experience and move on. Will do. If he tries to make a move worh me when he sees me how do you suggest I handle it? I’m bound to see him.
basil67 Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 What you do next depends on what you want. Do you want more casual sex with him or not? 1
losangelena Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 What you do next depends on what you want. Do you want more casual sex with him or not? I agree that casual sex is about all you’re going to get out of him. Proceed if you’d like—SAFELY—but if you’re interested in another round, I’d say just be friendly but reserved. 1
BaileyB Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 In other words, if you decide to see him again... use a condom. 1
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 What you do next depends on what you want. Do you want more casual sex with him or not? Do you think it may be possible to have both?
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 In other words, if you decide to see him again... use a condom. Absolutely!!! No doubt at all! For sure for sure!
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 Alright, I have not read all of the responses but I have something to say once hearing he was very fit and all muscles. A lot of men in the body building community like to stack supplements. One of these is called the ECA stack (or whatever) and it's when they put ephedrine, caffeine, and aspirin together to help aid in weight loss/give them a super cut look. They get the ephedrine many times in the form of bronkaid. Anyway, the ephedrine can give them delayed ejaculation. So they can go 40, 50, 60 minutes, etc. without ejaculating. Some can't ejaculate at all. It has nothing to do with you. Some men don't put two and two together but it's a thing. Just letting you know in case you see a lot of supplements in his cabinet. My friends and I have had personal experiences with this. Once they get off of them, they are able to climax within a "normal" fashion again. I'm not saying this is his issue, but I wouldn't rule it out, either. I believe some anti-depressant meds can also have a similar effect on men, as well. He’s def not on anti depressants .. he’s a total Believer in power of the mind and we have the control of it.
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 Yep. I still think he figured you'd know it was just a casual thing. Edited to add: with all due respect to your mom, she sounds kinda naive to be encouraging you. And given the latest update, how did she not know that her partner's best mate likes to play around? She knew. She told me not to expect anything. I guess I was curious to see what our chemistry really was. ..
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 I agree that casual sex is about all you’re going to get out of him. Proceed if you’d like—SAFELY—but if you’re interested in another round, I’d say just be friendly but reserved. Yeah that sounds like how things will be going. Thanks for the feed back! 1
basil67 Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 Do you think it may be possible to have both? All you will get out of him is casual sex. If you don't want that, then walk away from him.
TheFinalWord Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 He’s def not on anti depressants .. he’s a total Believer in power of the mind and we have the control of it. I personally think it's still possible he will come around. I don't think the age is that big of deal, but that's me. I've had relationships with women with this type of age difference and it's been fine. Who cares what people say. Let them talk. It's your life and if you like him, you like him. I do think he has body dysmorphia and ties a lot of his self-esteem to his body. He won't show it to you yet, which tells me he's not totally comfortable around you. Hence, he can't perform. I've been into bodybuilding for 20 years so I know a lot about the topic. I would let him come to you at his own pace. Just tell him you would like to keep talking and getting to know him, if you're interested. 1
elaine567 Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 I would let him come to you at his own pace. Just tell him you would like to keep talking and getting to know him, if you're interested. I guess you missed the update, he's now in Colombia with another woman... 1
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 I personally think it's still possible he will come around. I don't think the age is that big of deal, but that's me. I've had relationships with women with this type of age difference and it's been fine. Who cares what people say. Let them talk. It's your life and if you like him, you like him. I do think he has body dysmorphia and ties a lot of his self-esteem to his body. He won't show it to you yet, which tells me he's not totally comfortable around you. Hence, he can't perform. I've been into bodybuilding for 20 years so I know a lot about the topic. I would let him come to you at his own pace. Just tell him you would like to keep talking and getting to know him, if you're interested. He has said he does want to get married. His main priority right now his is his son until his son graduates high school which is in about 2 years. I know he is truthful about that. In regards to him being in Columbia with another woman, I don’t think I can be mad about that given the fact that we aren’t anything. So we both have no ties. Plus we just slept together and he’s had this trip planned out. And I’m not even sure if he really is there worh another woman. He definitely has body issues. He’s told me and the comments he’s made about himself I have questioned him on why he’s said things and after I’d compliment him to try to reassure him. I do think he has fears of committing. From hearing him and watching him , it seems once he does start falling he ends up putting up a wall that stops him from going further emotionally. I’m curious about that side of him and would like to take the challenge to break through and would Like to understand him. I will step back and not make the first moves but I will continue to reassure him that I’m open and accepting of Him and I. 1
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 I guess you missed the update, he's now in Colombia with another woman... Can I really hold that against him at this moment though... 1
JuneL Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 Of course he can sleep with whatever woman he wants. But, personally, I’d be completely grossed out
elaine567 Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 Can I really hold that against him at this moment though... Maybe not, as this was a ONS, but you seem to be giving this situation a whole lot more thought than it deserves. Like so many women you are giving this man excuse after excuse for bad and rude behaviour. He essentially slept with you and then he ghosted you. Its called pump and dump. Nothing more nothing less. Stop writing a love story in your head... 2
TheFinalWord Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 Like to understand him. I will step back and not make the first moves but I will continue to reassure him that I’m open and accepting of Him and I. With the body dysmorphia, your positive comments won't really do much. It will be about time and comfort. Things just happened fast. He may come back around, but like you said, I think you'll have to let him come at his own pace. 2
TheFinalWord Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 I guess you missed the update, he's now in Colombia with another woman... Unless he's there forever, who knows what the future holds. I just know most women on here automatic reply is to bail. My advice in general is to not have sex on the first date. But people don't want to listen to me, so the next best advice is to not put your life on hold, but if you want to keep the door open, just let the person know. Leave it at that. OP should not put her life on hold. He has body dysmorphia and if she is willing to be patient, then that's her choice. 2
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