Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 I didn’t realize straight guys can be so high maintenance with their skin products Hahahhaha neither did I. Apparently he is Before he told me , he said don’t judge me .. so he felt a little weird about what he does
elaine567 Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 You sound like you’re dealing with a 20-something and not a grown-a$$ man. Does a 45-year old need to be coaxed into responding? That sounds like way too much work to me. I think if he were really interested, you wouldn’t need to be texting him about skincare products. 'fraid so. ED is very common in men over 40, so if I were you I'd be looking for a much younger man. Plenty time to deal with ED problems when you are also over 40. Last think you need is to be catapulted into ageing issues when you are only 27... 1
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 If you like this guy and sense he is a good guy, then yes, it's fine to reach out to him. He did tell you he had some fears. The erectile dysfunction is hugely on his mind--no doubt. He's trying to be comfortable dating someone 18 years younger and BANG--or no Bang!--the age issue shows up on first night together. So if you reach out, you'll be letting him know that you aren't disappointed at his lack of climax. And the door is open for him to step out of shame. Don't keep coaxing him out, though. He needs to come out of shame on his own--without his 27-year-old girlfriend doing all the work, like a parent encouraging a child. But sure, reach out to him. I'm so tempted to ask: did he use a condom or no? Condoms can be difficult for some men past 40 ... If he wasn't using a condom and couldn't climax, that's different ... more likely an emotional issue. He told me he’s dated younger girls before and that’s what I’ve seen also.. no we did not use a condom... to be honest his D size wasn’t all that big, it was about average and it was work to get the job done.. but do-able.. all V feels the same right? I’m just hoping I wasn’t the issue ..
losangelena Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 True! A man goes for what he wants right ? That was my thinking , but given the situation, I wondered if that changes things...That could be definitely true to... So there’s a performance issue, he’s got some body image insecurities going on, and he says he wants to get married but has decided not to commit to anyone in a while. Yeah, okay, y’all have “chemistry,” but that is not enough, and the above makes it sound like he’s just not really relationship material. I dunno, maybe he’s just out for some fun, but if that’s the case, you need to really reset your expecatations here. Find someone to date that doesn’t have all these hang ups. You don’t need to saddle yourself with all that.
Oak Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) He told me he’s dated younger girls before and that’s what I’ve seen also.. no we did not use a condom... to be honest his D size wasn’t all that big, it was about average and it was work to get the job done.. but do-able.. all V feels the same right? I’m just hoping I wasn’t the issue .. Since you didn't say he had any problem rising to the occasion, I don't see this as an ED problem. To answer your V question...no, in my relatively limited experience, they do not all feel the same. Of course there is an emotional factor, but at the end of the day you still need a little friction to get the job done. I'd guess it could be due to a combination of feelings...emotional and physical. Who knows? Edited March 23, 2019 by Oak
BaileyB Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Since you didn't say he had any problem rising to the occasion, I don't see this as an ED problem. It is an ED problem. Delayed ejaculation is common in older men. Most people think that difficulty “getting it up” is a problem with ED, but she has described is very common in older men. Is there a reason why you did not use a condom OP? No doubt, he has had his share of partners at his age and you want to protect yourself from pregnancy, and STDs.
JuneL Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 I thought the whole point of dating an older guy is that he’s supposed to be more mature, stable and established. OP: If I were you, I’d date someone within your age range. At least you don’t have to deal with the delayed ejaculation issue. Also, his obsession with skincare products is enough to turn me off. Are you sure he’s not in the closet? 3
elaine567 Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 For a guy who doesn't want kids, having bareback sex with a 27 yo no doubt very fertile female he hardly knows, wasn't very sensible, was it?... 4
Oak Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 It is an ED problem. Delayed ejaculation is common in older men. Most people think that difficulty “getting it up” is a problem with ED, but she has described is very common in older men. Not that it matters, but Delayed Ejaculation is not the same as ED. Erectile Disfunction is the inability to get or maintain an erection. I googled it.
mark clemson Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Another tack - possibly he told his best friend (you're mom's BF) what happened. Best friend may have gotten quite pissed off at him for doing something that potentially interferes with his existing relationship with your mom. So it's possible he doesn't want continue for that reason, in addition to any of the above issues.
elaine567 Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 He told you "he hasn’t committed to a relationship in a while.." You I guess took that as meaning he was open to a committed relationship whereas he may have been telling you "Look don't get your hopes up, this is going nowhere." Time will tell. 1
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 Since you didn't say he had any problem rising to the occasion, I don't see this as an ED problem. To answer your V question...no, in my relatively limited experience, they do not all feel the same. Of course there is an emotional factor, but at the end of the day you still need a little friction to get the job done. I'd guess it could be due to a combination of feelings...emotional and physical. Who knows? No he did not have any issues there.. but he did tell me he couldn’t climax bc of the alcohol.. I don’t know if that was the truth or if I was the issue. And even then he couldn’t keep his hands off me.
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 He told you "he hasn’t committed to a relationship in a while.." You I guess took that as meaning he was open to a committed relationship whereas he may have been telling you "Look don't get your hopes up, this is going nowhere." Time will tell. That very well could be, given his track record. I don’t have any expectation but I would like to know .. I’m bound to see him again.. I just don’t want to see him a month from now and nothing is said between us until that day come.
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 For a guy who doesn't want kids, having bareback sex with a 27 yo no doubt very fertile female he hardly knows, wasn't very sensible, was it?... I mean I wouldn’t say he hardly knows..
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 Another tack - possibly he told his best friend (you're mom's BF) what happened. Best friend may have gotten quite pissed off at him for doing something that potentially interferes with his existing relationship with your mom. So it's possible he doesn't want continue for that reason, in addition to any of the above issues. Highly doubt my moms bc know. Extremely highly doubt
Oak Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 No he did not have any issues there.. but he did tell me he couldn’t climax bc of the alcohol.. I don’t know if that was the truth or if I was the issue. And even then he couldn’t keep his hands off me. Alcohol absolutely could cause it, although not likely the next morning.
Interstellar Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) You sound like you’re dealing with a 20-something and not a grown-a$$ man. Does a 45-year old need to be coaxed into responding? That sounds like way too much work to me. I think if he were really interested, you wouldn’t need to be texting him about skincare products. He can’t be so embarrassed by ED that he’d need to hide from you. Either he was out for sex or realizes the complications of dating the daughter of his best mate’s mum. No offense, but I think your energy could be better spent elsewhere. For chrissakes, having ED or issues affecting your performance in bed is EMBARRASSING and it’s tied to the male ego of being assertive, competent, being able to perform, etc... maybe that’s the issue for him or maybe not, I don’t know him but for men it’s a private matter that he’d rather keep to himself because number one she is not his mother/priest/doctor/confessional booth. As far as skincare products, the guy is simply taking care of himself. It’s maintenance. You want an unattractive guy who doesn’t take care of himself? Granted, he should not talk about skincare with her until she’s his girlfriend at least. Edited March 23, 2019 by Interstellar
TheFinalWord Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) He told me he’s dated younger girls before and that’s what I’ve seen also.. no we did not use a condom... to be honest his D size wasn’t all that big, it was about average and it was work to get the job done.. but do-able.. all V feels the same right? I’m just hoping I wasn’t the issue .. Uh, no. I'm in the same age category and have dated women as young as 21. Some women are completely boring. Most women just think they need to lay there and because men are visual that's enough. Sure, a guy can work with that. But there is such a thing as sexual chemistry. Also, ED is tied to obesity and low Test. If he's in good shape, I can guarantee there's no physical problems unless he's on some type of anti-depressant. You people act like 45 is ancient lol it's middle-aged, not dead. It's psychological. This is why women shouldn't give advice about men's sexuality. It's like me giving advice on giving birth Edited March 23, 2019 by TheFinalWord 2
JuneL Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Does he have alcohol problem? I remember another poster who used to have a functioning alcoholic bf with the same problem, namely delayed ejaculation.
basil67 Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 The kids call it controlling behavior. the parents call it protection. Some things don't change. Indeed. Then those kids grow up and try to protect their own kids from mistakes made in the past. 2
DaddyDom Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 I deal with this stigma a bit myself. I'm 38 but people often mistake me for 28-30. I have the sex drive of a teenager, and the vitality and fitness of a younger guy. I mean I still out train guys at the gym and track a good 12-15 years younger than me. So women my age or older just don't do it for me. Plus being a Daddy Dom, younger women appeal to my kink. I generally pursue and date women in their early-mid 20's. Now if this guy is as direct as I am, he should take the lead and you'll just know what he wants. But if a 45 year old is making you work this hard, then that defeats the purpose of dating an older "man". LOL 1
emeraldgreen Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 If he hasn't been in a relationship for a long time, maybe he's jerking the gherkin too much to maintain a hard-on and shoot to thrill. If he went no-fap for a month and popped some cialis, he might be good to ride for years to come yet. 45 is the halfway mark, not the end of the road. 2
losangelena Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 For chrissakes, having ED or issues affecting your performance in bed is EMBARRASSING and it’s tied to the male ego of being assertive, competent, being able to perform, etc... maybe that’s the issue for him or maybe not, I don’t know him but for men it’s a private matter that he’d rather keep to himself because number one she is not his mother/priest/doctor/confessional booth. As far as skincare products, the guy is simply taking care of himself. It’s maintenance. You want an unattractive guy who doesn’t take care of himself? Granted, he should not talk about skincare with her until she’s his girlfriend at least. Way to entirely miss my point. Sure, ED is embarrassing, but I have a hard time buying the notion that it’s such a big deal as to be the reason he isn’t contacting her after they were intimate. I’ve had partners, some as young as 25, who experienced performance issues while I was with them, and none of them reacted more strongly than to say, “sorry, let’s try again later,” and we moved on. Certainly, none of them refused to interact with me afterward because of it. As for the skincare, again, I don’t care if he has a regimen. What I’m trying to say that if he were truly a mature man reflective of his age, she would not be sitting here a week after they hooked up, having to text him photos of facial serums in order to hopefully get a conversation going. Either he’s not that interested, or he’s not worth the time/energy for a 27-year-old woman to try and date. She has plenty of greener pastures. 4
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 24, 2019 Author Posted March 24, 2019 Still no text back… I was with my mom’s boyfriend yesterday and I asked where you was and I was told that he is in Columbia with some chick…
JuneL Posted March 24, 2019 Posted March 24, 2019 Still no text back… I was with my mom’s boyfriend yesterday and I asked where you was and I was told that he is in Columbia with some chick… What a creepy uncle.
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