Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 A year ago I met my moms boyfriends best friend. Instant connection and hesitant given how we know each other. It has been obvious to everyone that we are interested and drawn to each other. Nothing has happened between us up until a few days ago. We were both out with friends and in the middle of our Saturday night out we ditched our group of friends to hang out one on one. Met at the local bar and immediately was open about our interest in each other and other important things. One of which he hasn’t committed to a relationship in a while.. he wants to get married and does not want kids. All good with me. We ended up sleeping together that night and I stayed until the next morning. This was a week ago and I have. Kit heard from him. Do I leave it be or do I reach out to him to hang out? I feel like he may be being cautious or possibly just not interested and it was a one night stand? But I’m not sure.. we have had chemistry every time we’ve been around each other since we met.. I am very interested in him, but I don’t know if I should wait on him to make the move to initiate ha hung out or If I should..
preraph Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Danged if I'd be the one to reach out. He should have contacted you the next day. Did anything awkward happen in bed to make him think you would have lost interest? Was he too drunk to remember anything or something like that? If so, I still wouldn't reach out because who needs a blackout drunk, right? Is he really single, or does he have some girlfriend he keeps at home? You can kind of assume that if he hasn't contacted you within a week, he was just getting sex, no matter what all chemistry you had. Guys can fake that. Let's hope he's not like that, but you never know. So unless he dropped the ball in bed and has concluded that you'll never want to see him again, then I wouldn't reach out. That's about the only thing I can think of besides already having a woman and feeling like a jerk for cheating that would make him do that if he wanted to see you again. Any chance he told your mom's bf and then they all pow-wowed and scared him off? 2
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 No we were both not blacked out .The morning after he invited me to go with him to this private lesson. He got a new camera and hired a professional photographer to teach him how to use it, but I decided to go home . I ended up texting him and ask him how his lesson went but that about all the contact we had after. The send was extremely passionate but he did not climax. He tried to have morning send the next morning and still nothing. He said it was the alcohol? He said I kiss amazing and give a great blow job.. I doubt I was the “issue”
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 And he single for sure.y mother knows. She’s the one that told me to go for it, but her and I and him are keeping it hush hush at least for now until we know if it’s anythng serious. My moms bc does not know it happened but knows our interest in each other.
preraph Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 It's because he had erectile dysfunction and is now embarrassed, I think. Listen, guys take that very seriously. I mean, you have already texted him and now I guess he didn't reply when you said you hoped his lesson went well? If not, then it's on him to contact you. But I do think he has a performance problem. Sometimes they're just too embarrassed, and he may know that it wasn't a one-time problem but that it will happen again. Some guys seem to think they'll meet the one that will magically fix their problem, but that's probably not really the case. Did he reply when you asked him about the lesson, or were you the last one to text? If so, don't contact him. But if he replied at all, then I guess it's okay to say hi again in case he needs encouragement. But only if you can handle a guy who has some problems. 1
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 Oh he responded when I asked him about his lesson. He was playful and said he was a professional now and I said great, now you can teach me. He responded “definitely”. I didn’t really know what to say to that, so I just didn’t text back. He is a very fit guy and I did notice he was insecure about his body. The guy is literally all muscle and said he wouldn’t feel comfortable going to a beach at the moment with his shirt off.
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 One of our convo in the morning we were having was how he just started using facial creams and serums. I told him how to use them Bc he was using them wrong and told him I’d send him what I use. I just just just sent him a photo of the creams i use .. we shall see if that starts up a convo.. 1
basil67 Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) I suspect that he felt a mutual sexual attraction but knew that it would never become more....and assumed you were on the same page. Edited March 23, 2019 by basil67
TheFinalWord Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 He's possibly embarrassed. For a lot men, it's not a physical issue, it's psychological. He just needs to get to know you and feel comfortable around you. It may also be the case that he feels like things are going too fast. Either way, you texted, I would just let it go and see if he writes back. 2
preraph Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 For a good looking fit guy, he seems to have some issues about his body and then with the ED, too, he may have had something bad happen when he was younger. But all that aside, he also could just have been getting laid and have no intentions of dating, but we'll see if he stays in touch. With you encouraging him, he should ask you out now, unless he is real broke or something like that and could be waiting for a check. Keep us posted. 1
SmartDude Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 A year ago I met my moms boyfriends best friend. Instant connection and hesitant given how we know each other. It has been obvious to everyone that we are interested and drawn to each other. Nothing has happened between us up until a few days ago. We were both out with friends and in the middle of our Saturday night out we ditched our group of friends to hang out one on one. Met at the local bar and immediately was open about our interest in each other and other important things. One of which he hasn’t committed to a relationship in a while.. he wants to get married and does not want kids. All good with me. We ended up sleeping together that night and I stayed until the next morning. This was a week ago and I have. Kit heard from him. Do I leave it be or do I reach out to him to hang out? I feel like he may be being cautious or possibly just not interested and it was a one night stand? But I’m not sure.. we have had chemistry every time we’ve been around each other since we met.. I am very interested in him, but I don’t know if I should wait on him to make the move to initiate ha hung out or If I should.. Sure why not try? there is no harm in reaching out. I have been in a few situations with much younger women. As a guy I have to be a little careful. Let's say I am a 45 year old man and I am walking in public with my 20 year old girlfriend(hypothetical). In that scenario, I am going to get a lot of awkward stares and meanness from other people. I remember when I had a young friend and a similar thing happened. It was mostly angry menopausal women were the most rude out of everyone. The protective dad types were probably second worst. I was able to laugh at the whole thing. The grumpy people become a good source of entertainment and humor. Anyway I think that when there is a much younger woman and an older man..That yes, you will have to make the move. Its really backwards. You have to make it socially ok for him to pursue you. You have to let him know that you are focusing on him. Also if sex does not work out at first it does not mean ED. He might just need to get used to you. First time sex jitters, happens to me all the time. The more attractive the woman, the worse it is. 1
elaine567 Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 It was mostly angry menopausal women were the most rude out of everyone. The protective dad types were probably second worst. Also known as parents. The ick factor is high and parents do not want anyone's daughter dating someone old enough to be her Dad. It is an innate protective thing. 2
BaileyB Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 A year ago I met my moms boyfriends best friend. And this guy is friends with your mom’s boyfriend. Imagine, the double date possibilities... with your mother! OP, while I wish you all the best, I don’t see how this relationship is going to have a happy ending. It’s... complicated.
Lotsgoingon Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 If you like this guy and sense he is a good guy, then yes, it's fine to reach out to him. He did tell you he had some fears. The erectile dysfunction is hugely on his mind--no doubt. He's trying to be comfortable dating someone 18 years younger and BANG--or no Bang!--the age issue shows up on first night together. So if you reach out, you'll be letting him know that you aren't disappointed at his lack of climax. And the door is open for him to step out of shame. Don't keep coaxing him out, though. He needs to come out of shame on his own--without his 27-year-old girlfriend doing all the work, like a parent encouraging a child. But sure, reach out to him. I'm so tempted to ask: did he use a condom or no? Condoms can be difficult for some men past 40 ... If he wasn't using a condom and couldn't climax, that's different ... more likely an emotional issue.
SmartDude Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Also known as parents. The ick factor is high and parents do not want anyone's daughter dating someone old enough to be her Dad. It is an innate protective thing. The kids call it controlling behavior. the parents call it protection. Some things don't change.
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 I suspect that he felt a mutual sexual attraction but knew that it would never become more....and assumed you were on the same page. Could be possible.. that’s one of things I’m trying to figure out
elaine567 Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 ...I just sent him a photo of the creams i use .. we shall see if that starts up a convo.. Any reply?
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 For a good looking fit guy, he seems to have some issues about his body and then with the ED, too, he may have had something bad happen when he was younger. But all that aside, he also could just have been getting laid and have no intentions of dating, but we'll see if he stays in touch. With you encouraging him, he should ask you out now, unless he is real broke or something like that and could be waiting for a check. Keep us posted. Thank you! I sent him a few pictures of my products and just kept it short and sweet and told him to try them. We shall is if that’s enough of an opening for him...
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 Any reply? Not yet.. I sent him a photo of the products I used and said “If you want to try something different, The eye defense works amazing! I noticed it work with in a few days. I put it on morning and night. I think it's about $15.. A toner is good thing to use also.. ” I think the fact that I’m reaching out and on a topic that shows I’m not judging him on his skin routine..I’m hoping it makes him more comfortable with me and able to say something back to start more of a convo..
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 He's possibly embarrassed. For a lot men, it's not a physical issue, it's psychological. He just needs to get to know you and feel comfortable around you. It may also be the case that he feels like things are going too fast. Either way, you texted, I would just let it go and see if he writes back. I can definitely see that being a reason. 1
JuneL Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 Not yet.. I sent him a photo of the products I used and said “If you want to try something different, The eye defense works amazing! I noticed it work with in a few days. I put it on morning and night. I think it's about $15.. A toner is good thing to use also.. ” I think the fact that I’m reaching out and on a topic that shows I’m not judging him on his skin routine..I’m hoping it makes him more comfortable with me and able to say something back to start more of a convo.. I didn’t realize straight guys can be so high maintenance with their skin products 2
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 Sure why not try? there is no harm in reaching out. I have been in a few situations with much younger women. As a guy I have to be a little careful. Let's say I am a 45 year old man and I am walking in public with my 20 year old girlfriend(hypothetical). In that scenario, I am going to get a lot of awkward stares and meanness from other people. I remember when I had a young friend and a similar thing happened. It was mostly angry menopausal women were the most rude out of everyone. The protective dad types were probably second worst. I was able to laugh at the whole thing. The grumpy people become a good source of entertainment and humor. Anyway I think that when there is a much younger woman and an older man..That yes, you will have to make the move. Its really backwards. You have to make it socially ok for him to pursue you. You have to let him know that you are focusing on him. Also if sex does not work out at first it does not mean ED. He might just need to get used to you. First time sex jitters, happens to me all the time. The more attractive the woman, the worse it is. I completely agree with being cautious . We both were and have been. I’m all for it and open to it.. I personally don’t care what people think nor do I feel it’s anyones business but I do understand how it could Have an affect in the beginning. I’m Hoping a simple text was an open door for a simple response back that could make us both feel more comfortable for meet and round 2. To be honest, i was more concerned or was me that was the issue I’m bed. ..
losangelena Posted March 23, 2019 Posted March 23, 2019 You sound like you’re dealing with a 20-something and not a grown-a$$ man. Does a 45-year old need to be coaxed into responding? That sounds like way too much work to me. I think if he were really interested, you wouldn’t need to be texting him about skincare products. He can’t be so embarrassed by ED that he’d need to hide from you. Either he was out for sex or realizes the complications of dating the daughter of his best mate’s mum. No offense, but I think your energy could be better spent elsewhere. 5
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 And this guy is friends with your mom’s boyfriend. Imagine, the double date possibilities... with your mother! OP, while I wish you all the best, I don’t see how this relationship is going to have a happy ending. It’s... complicated. My mother knows. She was actually the one encouraging me to send him the initial text that night. Obviously she has some concerns regarding me Getting hurt by him but that’s about it
Author Loverxxxx Posted March 23, 2019 Author Posted March 23, 2019 You sound like you’re dealing with a 20-something and not a grown-a$$ man. Does a 45-year old need to be coaxed into responding? That sounds like way too much work to me. I think if he were really interested, you wouldn’t need to be texting him about skincare products. He can’t be so embarrassed by ED that he’d need to hide from you. Either he was out for sex or realizes the complications of dating the daughter of his best mate’s mum. No offense, but I think your energy could be better spent elsewhere. True! A man goes for what he wants right ? That was my thinking , but given the situation, I wondered if that changes things...That could be definitely true to...
Recommended Posts