NC IS NOT AN OPTION - How to Respond???

[Okeydokey]

Ok, for those of you who read the other post yesterday you know that my ex and I go to a very small graduate school together and bump into each other all the time. We are also assigned to work together. Reminder - he is an introvert, pretty controlling, fragile male ego, etc. So, honestly his only friends were me and my friends. 2 days after we broke up we had to drive to visit client 2 hours away. He was being all friendly and charming as if nothing had happened. I told him to quit it - "you can't be my boyfriend yesterday, and friend today." He gets all pissed off and sulky, "what do you mean we can't be friends?" Big sulk. (I think he thought I was going to keep providing emotional support when he needed it w/o having to do any of the boyfriend stuff.) I replied, "we can, but you have to give a person time to adapt to the new situation" Big sulk. Then charming again. Starts asking about what my criteria are for friends and did not realize that I had such high standards or something like that. He was dishing out personal info. about himself (which I did not ask to hear about) which he would not have told anyone besides me when I was his girlfriend. He sends friendly e-mails when we write about work, "Hi Okeydokey, I hope you are doing well, bunch of stuff about work, I hope you have a nice day and a good week, Sincerely Dickhead" or unnecessary e-mails, "Hi Okeydokey, you did a great job on that letter that you wrote. I couldnt have done it better myself - masterpiece!". Also, he went to a bar w/my friends the night after we broke up (in the six months that we were together he had never gone out) they said he was super quiet all night (that is how he is anyways though). I responded to all of his e-mails (like I said in the other thread) in a pretty disinterested way and no response to the unnecessary e-mails. Oh, and now my one friend who was probably his closest friend at school says he has stopped saying Hi to her. So, any theories folks on his behavior?

[Okeydokey]

We bought tickets to the theater for the entire year 13 shows. He still has my tickets. Also, some of my stuff at the apartment which he said that he would get to me. Since I have been basically unresponsive I feel like it would be unnecessarily rude, mean and even kind of petty to send an e-mail saying hey leave my stuff at my desk when you get the chance. But I do want my stuff. I kind of feel like he should have brought it to me or mentioned it when we drove to see the client. So, I'm requesting in addition to analysis of his behavior discussed in the previous post suggestions about how to phrase the give me my tickets and my stuff contact.

[In Sync]

Don't take offense but I seriously think you need to be as far apart from this person as possible...mentally consider him a stalker. If you need to work together Keep it just as work. Don't encourage friendly exchange. Why? Because unless you broke it off with him and are already distant from him, this constant charming and trying to be your friend after a breakup is going to mess your head up..and do you need that while in grad school no less. As for sharing the same friends. Here's where you need to put yourself first. Do your friends honor you by hanging out with the guy who hurt you. Are they friends of yours they'd see the awkwardness and cease juggling the two..if they need to hang with your ex...then maybe you need to separate from them and make new friends. Its pretty easy to get caught in head games..and you know what those head games become emotionally draining.

Your concentration is shot, you'll all the time be wasting energy focusing on him. His ego is satisfied and you'll end up a mess. As for your stuff, really..count it as a loss. People have lost more than you..seen the news lately, hurricane victims. Asking for your stuff is just going to lead to one more excuse to engage with him. Walk away. Start new. Things CAN be replace.