Lagoon1212 Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 So, after my last failed date, I got active on online site again and matched with this guy who liked my picture and I liked his profile back. Now a bit of a background. I actually met this guy in summer 2018. My best friend and one of his good friends were moving in together (as roommates not as a couple). So, he was there helping them with the furniture when I also showed up. He probably introduced himself to me at least three times and was trying really hard but I was tired and didn't really know how to react, but his interest was more than obvious. However, at the time he was dating someone. This past January my friend told me that he broke up with that girl and asked his friend (my friend's roommate) for my phone number and told him he would like to take me on a date. I replied that it was ok, I liked him and she can give my phone number. That, for some reason, never happened and my friend never mentioned it again. She only said I will tell him you are interested when I have an opportunity. Now, back to presence, he likes my online dating profile and i thought he recognized me and liked him back. He started talking to me immediately and was responding right away and kept engaging me and asking me what would be my ideal first date. Today, when he never brought up that he knows me, I told him and explained where we met. He replied "hahaha, that is hilarious, small world. Say hi to Peter (his friend) for me when you see him." Then he logged out and never came back for the entire day today (yesterday he was online the entire day talking to me). Now, I only have one photo and no name but still... we spent half day together in 2018 moving furniture together. Is it possible he didn't recognize me? Even if he didn't why he stopped talking to me, when he obviously was interested in me last summer and according to my friend asked for my number on few occasions. So weird....
preraph Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 It's possible, sure. Especially if you don't look that much like your photo, but I would think he'd recognize your name if he ever knew your whole name. Anyway, it doesn't matter. This seems like a golden opportunity to get together and date each other. You know he was interested and you sound interested. By no means should you worry about whether he recognized you or not after one time and make that any issue. He probably never called before because he felt awkward about it. You know how it is when friends know you like someone. It makes you wish you never said anything. So don't make a thing or ask about that either. Start fresh and go out and have fun. Don't overthink it. Just let it be your goal to go out and have fun laughing and being lighthearted. That's what guys like for early dating days. Someone who is just fun.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 It's possible, sure. Especially if you don't look that much like your photo, but I would think he'd recognize your name if he ever knew your whole name. Anyway, it doesn't matter. This seems like a golden opportunity to get together and date each other. You know he was interested and you sound interested. By no means should you worry about whether he recognized you or not after one time and make that any issue. He probably never called before because he felt awkward about it. You know how it is when friends know you like someone. It makes you wish you never said anything. So don't make a thing or ask about that either. Start fresh and go out and have fun. Don't overthink it. Just let it be your goal to go out and have fun laughing and being lighthearted. That's what guys like for early dating days. Someone who is just fun. I probably wasn't very clear, my thoughts are all over the place. I am not worried if he recognized me or not. What worries me is that he disappeared once I explained who I was. He couldn't call me before because he never got my number. He asked for it, but my friend never gave it to her roommate (who is this guy's friend). So, I thought, this was an awesome opportunity... no friends involved and he can contact me without going through all the trouble of getting my number... but he actually just logged out. Was he embarrassed?
Scarlett.O'hara Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 He either had other commitments on and had to go, or he was just nervous and needed a chance to think it over, which is understandable if he felt caught off guard. For all you know he never received your number through friends and took that as a rejection, or maybe he had your number but lost the nerve to call? Either way, he might have just needed a bit of time to figure out his next move. Good news is that he came back, so he is clearly still interested. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and see where it goes!
amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 Does he have some sort of brain damage that you’re unaware of?
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 Does he have some sort of brain damage that you’re unaware of? No, he doesn’t. Why? His profile bio is the best I have read so far. He is very accomplished, good/decent looking, tall guy with a variety of interests and hobbies and most important for me, so down to earth. This is what... well, impressed me about him. Oh, and his sense of humor is just awesome (on the other hand I am awkward most of the time
amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 He sounds a little bit flakey then if not mentally impaired. He’s met you, spent HOURS with you, asked a friend for your number and has no memory of any of it at all? Even you say it’s weird.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 He sounds a little bit flakey then if not mentally impaired. He’s met you, spent HOURS with you, asked a friend for your number and has no memory of any of it at all? Even you say it’s weird. He has a memory of it, it seems that initially, he didnt recognize me (of course he could be faking it). We texted for a day and I didnt say anything. The following day I told him that we had already met in person and he remembered right away. Maybe he didnt recignize me on that photo (I have only one) and I only have initials instead of my name... or he just acted like he never recognized me. Anyway, this morning he texted me (on a dating app), asking how well I knew this friend of mine and if we were good friends... hmmmm... maybe he is wondering if I know that he expressed an interest in taking me on a date
amaysngrace Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 Answering questions with questions is always a safe bet. I personally like using “why?”, “what makes you say that?” and the old trusty “what is wrong with you?” in dire situations.
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 Maybe this guy is actually bad news and that a few of those friends decided to not proceed with giving him your number. Once you told him you knew such and such, he prob thought "oh oh better not go there".
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 Maybe this guy is actually bad news and that a few of those friends decided to not proceed with giving him your number. Once you told him you knew such and such, he prob thought "oh oh better not go there". Actually, that is confusing, really confusing. When I met him, my best friend whispered to my ear “what do you think about him... I think he would be good for you. He used to be in a long term relationship but they broke up... now he is dating someone new but it is not serious.” I didnt say anything because he approached us and introduced himself, showing obvious interest in me. Few months later, my friend texts me saying “hey, you know who asked my roommate for your phone number. He wants to take you on a date.” I said “well, sure, you can tell your roommate, I am interested in his friend.” She never replied to that. Few weeks later she said “I still havent talked to my roommate about that guy and you, I am waiting for a perfect opportunity, so it doesnt seem like you are desperate” I was like “ok, yeah sure.” And that was it. For the first time in my life I am confused by the actions of my best friend and even more by my inability to ask or tell her how I feel or what I think about it. Every new guy that pops up in my life, she asks about how things are going or if he is textimg me... but never evar mentioned this one.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 I just remebered she mention something like “you know, when Peter mentioned it to me, it was little awkward, we were both confused because you are my best friend and the two of them are also really good friends.” But other than that, she never said anything bad about him... she even mentioned that she thinks I would like him or that we would get along... something along these lines. She also talked about why he broke up his long term relationship but again... it was only this one time we talked about him and she never mentioned him again and I assume, never mentioned anything to her roommate.
preraph Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 I probably wasn't very clear, my thoughts are all over the place. I am not worried if he recognized me or not. What worries me is that he disappeared once I explained who I was. He couldn't call me before because he never got my number. He asked for it, but my friend never gave it to her roommate (who is this guy's friend). So, I thought, this was an awesome opportunity... no friends involved and he can contact me without going through all the trouble of getting my number... but he actually just logged out. Was he embarrassed? Anytime friends are involved, there is room for misunderstanding. You never know when some friend of yours has eyes for him herself and is discouraging him from contacting you or whatever and might even lie and say you don't like him. So you can't know what's up, but he liked you once in real life and then you matched, and now you should message him and say, We should get together for coffee. Then he'll either say yes or no. Realize it's also possible he is seeing someone else too while still fishing on OLD.
smackie9 Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 OK so maybe he got stand offish because not getting your number from the forgetful roommate he assumed you said no instead. So he scuffled away when he found out it was you. OR he contacted one of those friends to ask more about you.
bathtub-row Posted March 22, 2019 Posted March 22, 2019 I agree. Weird story. Have you heard anything from him?
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 22, 2019 Author Posted March 22, 2019 I agree. Weird story. Have you heard anything from him? No, he asked if I knew this friend really well, I explained this morning how I know her and that’s it. I know he is at work but that didnt stop him from talking to me two days ago from 11am to 9pm And he hasnt been online since this morning.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 I am so bummed. He texted me saying that he spoke with Peter. He said “I wasnt sure.” When I asked not sure about what, he said that “it was you.” He also said “was your hair shorter last summer.” I replied and now it’s been 2 days he hasnt said anything. I just dont get it. He was super excited when he first texted me (not knowing who I was, just liking my picture I guess). On the other hand, he was super excited last summer when he met me in person. What’s the issue now? I give up on guys.
amaysngrace Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 If he ever gets back to you don’t answer. This guy sounds like a total rude loser.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 He even said “I told Peter that his roommate has this really attractive friend, not sure if he ever mentioned this to you.” I replied “no, he hasnt said anything but thanks.” Like really, he indirectly told me he likes me, or thinks I am attractive. Grrrr
bathtub-row Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 My guess is that he either said or did something bad that he thinks has gotten back to you, or will get back to you. I don’t understand why he refuses to be upfront about it and see where things end up. It’s obvious he’s attracted to you but his behavior is so bizarre. He’s hiding something.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 My guess is that he either said or did something bad that he thinks has gotten back to you, or will get back to you. I don’t understand why he refuses to be upfront about it and see where things end up. It’s obvious he’s attracted to you but his behavior is so bizarre. He’s hiding something. I agree and my best friend is bizzare for asking if I was interested and when I said “yes” she never mentioned anything ever again. Actually, she did mention and it was all positive about this guy. But never gave him my number.
bathtub-row Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 I agree and my best friend is bizzare for asking if I was interested and when I said “yes” she never mentioned anything ever again. Actually, she did mention and it was all positive about this guy. But never gave him my number. Ooh...maybe those two had an affair. That would certainly put a strain on the situation. 1
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 25, 2019 Author Posted March 25, 2019 Ooh...maybe those two had an affair. That would certainly put a strain on the situation. No, that is not the case. I am 110% sure of that...I dont know if it matters but he was married before (my friend met his now ex wife) and she told me I kind of look a lot like her (face, hair, height and body type). And we both do the same type of work
bathtub-row Posted March 25, 2019 Posted March 25, 2019 No, that is not the case. I am 110% sure of that...I dont know if it matters but he was married before (my friend met his now ex wife) and she told me I kind of look a lot like her (face, hair, height and body type). And we both do the same type of work Maybe not, but if your friend didn’t want you to know about it, there is no 100% where affairs are concerned. Anyway, I still get the impression that he’s hiding something. I would forget about him unless he decides to get real with you.
Author Lagoon1212 Posted March 29, 2019 Author Posted March 29, 2019 Update: He finally asked me out. Well... he just casually texted me on a dating app replying to my previous text, saying that since we met it’s been a while ago and then “maybe we should hang out sometime.” I answered “maybe we should” and smily emoticon. Nothing since two days ago.... but he logs into the app every evening (more or less)...I am so over it. This is not a post even to analyze or ask why...I just want to know what would you reply iif he finally texted you back today or tomorrow asking when would you like to hang out.....
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