Dontsneakuponme Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 It's a story, I'll try to keep it short. We met and started sleeping together and were in a relationship lasted 3 months. We kept fighting and it sort of just ended, we broke up. I started messaging her alot and asked to get back together but she had blocked my number. After a year of waiting she contacted me and wanted to see me. We got back together for a further 6 months. Everything was good to begin with but issues arised and I started suspecting she was cheating on me and had accused her of infedilty on a number of occasions, was having trouble trusting her overall and arguments came from that which ultimately lead to us breaking up a second time. She says shes "ruled me out" as a potential partner because of my past behaviours and that I'm not ready to be a partner to anyone. I had made mistakes and apologised too many times to count but we agreed to be friends anyway. It's been 4 months, we hangout a couple times a week talk every other day and are overall good friends. But it haunts me that we may always be friends and that I may never be intimate with her again or have a future with her. I know Id have to change if I'm to ever have another chance but I dont know where to begin and even if in future Im a more "put together" person would she still keep me ruled out? I want her back but it seems impossible and I've basically lost all hope so I've been settling with the friendship. If anyones gotten their ex back under seemingly impossible circumstances or if you have any advice on how I could get mine back I'd really to know, Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 You tried twice & it didn't work. Perhaps you are incompatible. Do you understand the origins of the fights & your role in them? You don't have to share with us, but you need to know. If you can present a logical case to your EX about why it won't happen again, perhaps you can persuade her to try a 3rd time. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 If/when you firmly decide to move on, suggest you STOP hanging out with her. Seeing her a lot will keep your emotions going and any new GF will probably not appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 If you want more than friendship then have some self-respect and stop being her friend. As long as you're in the friend zone with her you're fulfilling your own prophecy about how impossible you think it is to get back together with her. Ultimately, though, why would you even want to? You've already been on the carousel twice with her and developed trust issues the second time around. The scenery isn't going to change, dude - it's the same carousel. Work on yourself for your sake, not for hers, to be the best version of you that you can be and you'll attract someone even better. There are too many fish in the sea for you to keep trying to re-catch the same one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 if in future Im a more "put together" person would she still keep me ruled out? Did you try asking her this? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 I'm sure she's dating other people and trying to find the right someone, so the day is going to come she has to drop you for the sake of the new relationship. So I would advise you also date others. So far, she just doesn't see you as someone to make a life with, and if you're not interested in being just friends, I think you're wasting your time, but as was said above, you can just ask her. Changing isn't easy just because you want to do it though. Eventually, one of you is going to have to distance yourself from the other to have a relationship with a new person. Link to post Share on other sites
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